I actually got a job as a nursing aide - went to the interview last week. I start the second week of January.

As far as school goes, I still have no answer to my appeal and reinstatement isn't going to happen since there are 15 other people other than me vying for the spot in Pediatrics for next term and it's highly unlikely they'll lose that many people. So, if the appeal gets a no, I'll be out of school for at least a semester. My classmate who is also applying for the appeal was told not to worry - that once their investigation was over, she would be able to register. My response from the dean was, "We are still working on these, we hope to have a resolution early next week.". That was last week. I haven't gotten anywhere since then.

Now on the WS front. Oh my good heavens. The mess! It's gotten bigger.
I just got off the phone with OW. She kept calling. I had to answer to see what the deal was. She's being super jealous.. think WS is playing us both. Which he probably very well is. She is trying to rationalize things, questioning me on what he has said to me (and I don't owe her any darned answer in my opinion), and said, get this, "I think that you and I should try to get along and become friends" which I responded with an.. I don't know about that. She's telling me how she doesn't want to get hurt, blah blah, and that she watched my kids to help me. Oh, good lord. Is it bad that I think this is pathetic and funny?!

More later, as I have a biiig test today.

Gwyn... your sitch about makes my eyes pop outta my head!! I can't beleive this OW... talk about crazy!

Me too, FCF.. But, it'll make a great book one day, right?
Even WS thinks this situation is pathetically funny. Perhaps he IS serious about coming home. Well, if I was him I'd run far away from her.

I told him that when OW called I 'could' have said a lot to her, but I remained polite and neutral. She's, by all accounts, a very vindictive woman and I already have enough trouble on my hands.

I just don't know where this is going to go. My plan? To remain upbeat and positive even though this whole Christmas situation is killing me inside. The situation isn't just the A, it's the not being able to afford gifts for the kids and the tree isn't up and the school thing. Just a mess!

Well, after playing phone tag all morning, the Director of Nursing called to let me know that they denied the appeal.

I didn't realize I'd be crying too much about it, to be honest. I think I've cried for like two hours now. It's just another blow. I let everyone down, especially me. And my classmate who did her appeal after me got approved. So, everyone's going to last term but me.

I guess I'll jump into this stack of paperwork and start working on reinstatement. WS is, I think, realizing a bit of what this whole fiasco has done and what toll it has taken on me. Like before, he wants to call the school President and see if there's anything that can be done, but I'm too dejected at this point to argue at all.

Gwen, I know you're disappointed, but this may be a blessing in disguise. Didn't you say you start a new job as a NA in January? Maybe a break for one semester is what you need to get your head together. You've had SO much going on, I'm amazed that you were able to function at all. If you do find yourself with this free time, use it as a breather and figure out a plan for your life and then go for it.

You've been at a great disadvantage because of all the stress you've had to endure (boy, that's an understatement). Use this time to TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE and really start working the MB plans for your own personal growth and your marriage.

Great post, princess meggy!!!

Gwyn, honey - you have been through so much in such a short period of time that I think you have been incredibly strong just by getting up every day. So crying for couple of hours (or more) isn't anything to be down on yourself about. No one else in your class was dealing with pregnancy, infidelity and an in your face OW with no support.

I am so sorry that your appeal was denied and that it adds to your load.

But you will get through this. You have what it takes. {hugs}

Thanks for the post. Well, I have the physical for my NA job on the 28th (have to bring my nursing transcript) and I'm afraid once they see that 'F' I'll lose the position since I need to be an active nursing student for the job since technically you're supposed to have your CNA licensure. Other than that I agree with you, thus why I said I was surprised I was crying so much because it all ran through my head before I got the decision.

You know sometimes it just pays to be completely honest. Since you don't think you'll get the job anyway based on their criteria, what harm would it do for you to go ahead and go to the interview and lay it all out for them (without all the detail)? At the same time, make it clear that you are going to take this time to take a breather and get your life in order. Part of getting your life in order includes having a job to pay the bills. Also point out your ability to stick with it even in the face of extreme circumstances and adversity and how you would bring that extraordinary character strength to any job.

My heart goes out to you. Graplin is right... you have WHAT IT TAKES.

Thank you so much Graplin. I guess I just hoped and hoped the people seeing my appeal would be human and understand. If I was that person, I would have approved my appeal. But I have a tendency of being too compassionate to circumstances.

Meggy - No, no. I already HAVE the job and did the interview. I'm just afraid they won't want to keep me. I don't know.

I went to the library with the kids and it helped me get my mind off of things a little. Now if I could just ignore Christmas and make it go away..

Oh, okay. I misunderstood. Well hopefully if it comes up you can tell them that you are not dropping out of nursing, you're just taking a break for one semester.

Gwen, have you tried to reach out to any local churches about your situation and Christmas? I know the United Way has programs to help too. I would hate to see any child go without on Christmas.

No, we'll be fine for Christmas.. I have relatives getting the kids plenty of stuff. I just feel bad that *I* can't do much. I just feel like I've failed them all year.

Oh, well that's good. As for failing your kids... put those kind of thoughts out of your mind. You did the BEST you could do under horrible circumstances. Count your blessings and look forward to a better New Year.

Hang in there, Gwyneffar. I sure hope you can finish your school. I think they SHOULD have kept you, but people can be so BACKWARD.

You haven't failed your kids, hubby has.

gwyneffar,

((((((((hugzzzzz))))))))

Don't you know that you are WORTHY?

You have done an awesome job in spite of it all.

And don't you worry about your WS telling you that you need a job. That is FOG. He needed to step up to the plate, not you. You had his children. Women need support if they are to bear children, in a MARRIAGE. You have been completely let down. Think about it.

Yes, you need to get a job, and the reason is that you have NOT had any support. Time to move on.

You have done your best under the circumstances.

You know, you really, and I mean REALLY need to listen to the people here, as believer said, you have not failed your children, WS has.

Time for you to move on. Time to take care of you and your kids. You cannot depend on your WS. You must make your plans on what is here and now, not how you wish things could be. It is NOT happening. I am concerned, however, that your lovebank will soon be empty. You should heed the wise ones here.

You are a good woman, you have done a wonderful job with your children in spite of it all.

Take care and please listen. I must say I am an advocate for plan B at this point.

God doesn't always give you what you want, but He does give you what you need. God has a wonderful plan for your life, no mistake. Better times are ahead for you.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

I'm not an advocate for plan B.. yet. Well, for me anyway.

The job issue was a thing I was going to whether he said anything or not. I need to build confidence in some of my nursing skills. I get too nervous - well, maybe that was the professors breathing down my neck - and I think it affects my client care.. well, not killing the patient, but I don't feel like I'm doing my best. That's why I was only willing to look for hospital jobs because that is what I need.

On another topic. OW hates me! Yay! WS says he's never seen someone hate someone so much.

But, I know for some people on the board, they aren't sure about the exposure letter to the workplace. Supposedly WS and OW got into a big fight about it yesterday. They pulled her in and talked to her! So many months later and it still has its effects. Of course I heard something about how it'll affect me getting a job there, but whatever. I don't think it will and if it does, it's the hospital's loss, not mine. (Remember I put in applications for positions there with OW recommending I use her as a reference. oops!)

WS also told me that one of my classmates told OW all about how WS was coming back and that he made a big mistake. Supposedly this 'person' had specifics. Riight. I think this 'person' is imaginary. My classmates don't even know who she is.

I told WS about the 15 hours a week he'll have to spend with me. Looks like he's been reading *somewhere* since he tells me all about what we're going to do to better our marriage once he gets back. Well, minus the NC part which I had to remind him of. He said that OW asked if he was going to contact her after he left. He said one or two times would be enough to get the message to her. No, no little sparrow - she needs to go away for good.

Gywneffar, I am new to the forum,and I understand wholeheartedly how you feel!!! I recently went through the same thing, ie: H, having an OW, and wanting to leave and live with her. I have 1 son and this has been horrible for him. You will get through this. If you need someone to talk to let me know?

Gywneffar - Glad you are doing so well. Hope you have a Merry Christmas. Hang in there. Affairs always end.

I'm trying so hard to hang in there.

Yesterday was Sunday, so of course football day. OW was there. I think I thought of a new name for her, Medusa. She gave me nothing but nasty looks all day - thought I was going to turn into stone. So, she's really unhappy about the letter her workplace got. Thought I tried to get her fired. Perhaps she should just do her job and not call my husband all the time. Well, we know why I did the letter at the time. If she doesn't get it and WS doesn't get it.. I don't know what to tell them.

He called me this morning. Things so did not go well. He's coming over tomorrow morning to open presents with us, but then he's leaving! He's oh so busy. Going to meet OW's mother for heaven's sake! Then I said that his dad was cooking us all Christmas dinner and I wondered if he was coming. No, he's not coming either. He's going over to his friend's family's house for dinner. OW scheduled that one.
So, you can guess it. I got upset. I can't have Christmas day with my husband?! He tells me he knows how messed up it is. He won't do anything about it. Instead he's like, "I'm sick of being put in the middle of you and OW's war. You already won, I don't see what you're having such an issue with". If I won, he'd be here now, doesn't he get that?!

So, he's angry with me and I am irrevocably hurt. Again. Just another withdrawal from the love bank.

Watch his ACTIONS, and ignore his words. And you really need to STOP being around OW. Hubby is basking in the midst of your and OW's war.