So I shouldn't go over to FIL's like I have every Sunday for the past 9 years? It just isn't fair. I mean I know you're right, but that's when FIL sees the kids.

His actions suggest he's a liar and I don't like that one bit.

He is still fence sitting. He would like nothing better than for you and OW to get into a fight, and he can sit back and watch. Go see FIL but only when OW is not there.

To see how supposedly stressed out WS is about her and I fighting you would think it's bothering him, not making him happy. So, no more Sundays then. Well, I'll tell FIL that today and I hope he can understand. FIL's so adamant on it being neutral ground there when we're there that it is really ridiculous. He told me last night that even if WS came back home to me that OW would still be welcome to his house, since he has no reason to be nasty to her and thinks she's a good woman who made a REALLY bad decision. I was like, "what!?".

If he was soooo concerned about the drama, he would unload her and move back with you where he belongs.

Be very, very careful!!!

Careful concerning what exactly?

Yes, sloopy1, do tell!

What's YOUR story, BTW?

Do you know gwyn? You registered yesterday and this thread is the only one you've posted on so far. Just curious, is all....

Concerning what? Concerning like, don't get hurt, men are nothing but liars, they do anything, say anything, just to make themselves feel better!!! My story is pretty much the same as your's except I only have one child and finished school, then found out about my cheatin H.

I think Gwyn needs to be careful too. Her story is unique in itself. Most BS wouldn't be caught dead around the OW let alone have her children around her if they could prevent it. I understand Gwyn's reasons and the need to finish nursing school and I admire her endurance to get through this even if it means her sanity.
I dont agree or understand the FIL being so open and accepting of his son's OW. If my son was married and left his wife for another woman I would not allow that other woman to enter my house or build a relationship with her until my son's marriage was dissolved. How can you love someone and see them hurting then have the person that is the cause of all this hurt and pain around them?
He cant control his son or his feelings but he can control who is allowed in his house. What the FIL is doing is not right in my opinion. The nerve to say even if his son left OW tomorrow she would still be welcomed into his home. How can a marriage heal and survive if he would allow the adulterous woman to continue to be a part of his life therefore allowing grounds for the affair to continue. He certainly is not helping the situation and I would stay away from him.

Woah, Sloopy, all men are not liars. Nor do men corner the market on infidelity.

Gwyn, it really is a matter of watching what he DOES not what he SAYS.

Words without the corresponding actions have no meaning.

I think after a weekend of his actions and seeing what he's been doing since I've had access to the bank account..

I don't even know what to say. I'll see him in the morning (he's watching the kids while I do more work related orientation stuff and man there's a lot of that to do, that's for sure) to verify any doubts I have in my mind about him telling the truth about wanting to come home.

I did something bold for me. I left him a message on his phone. That doesn't sound bad in itself, but at this point I don't care if OW checks it and reads it. Basically, I said:

"Look, I'm tired of lying to everyone for you. You need to tell everyone the truth, including me. If you don't want to come home, don't say you will. If you don't want to come home because of this, at least I won't come out of the relationship being a liar. I don't care if she checks the phone.. "

And it's true. Lying is NOT in my nature. So, last night I broke down in about 30 pieces and told my eldest DD that WS told me he wanted to come home and all of that. I cried some more while at FIL's house because it's just killing me. It's not fair I get treated second class over this facade for OW that he doesn't want to be with me. If he wanted to be home, he'd be home, right?

There's a lot more that has happened that would explain this better and I will when I get more time.

Good. Throw a little gasoline on the fantasy. Hopefully OW will LB him like crazy.

Glad you are going to work soon. I think it will help you.

Post deleted by gwyneffar

Well, to whoever is following this thread and has helped me a long the way - Thank you so much. However, it is time for this to come to a close. Perhaps not all marriages are meant to be saved. But I feel unsafe and it is an uncomfortable place to be. So, goodbye and I hope everyone does not think because I failed that you will, too.

I'm sorry to see you go, gwyn. Take care of yourself!

((((((((((gwyneffar))))))))))

Gwyn, I understand how you feel unsafe. I wish you would decide to stay though because even if your marriage is not saved, there are a lot of good people here that can help you through this.

OTOH, I still think you have a chance with your marriage.

Gwyn you do what you feel is best for you and your children. I do hope that you feel comfortable in reaching out to any of us when in need to talk. We have been falling your story in hopes that when bad things happen to good people that we can help each other and help each other get thru the hurt.
I don't know what developments have taken place but first and foremost always put you and your children first. Even if you dont post again, but I hope that you do, we will continue to hope for the best for you.

You know the MB plan, and I hope you will continue following it. Your husband has affaired down, and I think he knows it. Hope you will check in and let us know what happens next.

And don't let that CRAZY OW get to you. Sooner or later the affair will blow up in her face. You know, and we know that your husband wants you. But I really think that he is too proud to come back.

Hey guys. I'm alive.
Just wanted to say it's time to move my story over to the Pregnant/OC forum.