Bluenote,

If you are worried about her finding your GPS and getting rid of it, put the GPS in a locked fireproof box, and chain it with a padlock to the car, probably under the spare tire. That way, she can't even take it out if she wanted to.

Bluenote,

Just checking, how's it going today?

LC

LC,

I appreciate you checking up on me! I have been on an emotional rollercoaster these last few days!

I have informed my S11 and D10 on the continuing A. They now want to accompany WW on 'errands' as well as call her cell at night when she is away from home.

I have spoken with 3 lawyers on the D possibility and I feel like my WW would get rewarded for her A especially in Cali (no fault, community property). No doubt, I would fight HARD for everything!

Until I can personally get to OMW, I sent her certified mail today (which will arrive tomorrow) of proof of the A and some details.

I also spoke to the School Superintendent's office on OM contacting my WW during school hours.

I am waiting to hear more from the school district this afternoon.

Good, keep fighting the good fight.

well done BlueNote...keep it up.

Be careful how you include the kids in this...it's really not their place to police her. I know they want to be included, but...

MicheleG,

I hear you.

I do not want them to actively keep this in the forefront of their minds, I definitely want them to stay focused on school and 'being kids.'

I do try to educate them should they ask me questions on what is happening.

I want them to know their WILL be a standard for right and wrong in our house and I want them to know how they should treat their future GFs/wives, BFs/husbands.

BlueNote,

We're all for that! They need to know that WW's behavior is wrong, no if's, and's or but's.

Stay strong.

Go figure,

I sent certified mail to OMW yesterday and tracked it and it was refused today.

I also received a call from OM today saying not to send anything to his home again (I have another by regular mail going to his home by Mon/Tue of next week.)

I told him that as long as he continues to see my WW, he is wasting his breath talking to me! Be man enough to admit his A to his W.

I wonder if OMW is being dominated by OM.

I also went by OM's school for an open house function to 'face him' for the first time! It turns out he was not present (he was busy prepping to see my WW last night which he did).

My WW did not come home until 12:50 am last night after she dropped the daughters off from getting fast food at 8:15pm last night.

I saw my lawyer today and will be filing tomorrow!

Bluenote

Can you find anything out about OMW? Where she works? You might be able to get to her that way.

MicheleG,

From what I understand, OMW does not work BUT she lives in a gated community where if you are not expected or on a guest list, you cannot gain access to the premises.

My other plan is to gain access with a realtor showing me available properties to buy BUT they want you to ride with them instead of tailgating them onto the premises.

Geez this is crazy. I guess it's safe to assume you don't have any friends or friends of friends that might know someone living there?

If not, looks like a PI would be your only answer. They'd have to find out what car she drives and tail her. Letting you know in real time where she went so you could talk to her.

Just seems so convoluted just to be able to tell the woman that her H is a cheating SOB.

BN, I'm sure you are frustrated.

Bluenote, you could get a PI, get her maiden name, and expose to OMW's parents. I'm sure OM wouldn't be able to dominate his W anymore after that.

Bluenote,

I had an idea, and you can take it for what it's worth. But what about delaying filing for divorce, and getting another job and moving your family instead? That way you wouldn't have to worry about contact with OM. She also couldn't keep you from moving if there was no divorce filed. All you do is give her the choice to come along or get left behind. If you do reconcile with your wife, it would be a lot easier if you were nowhere near OM. Just a random thought.

I would send her the letter every day until she responds, and if in a week she hasn't, I'd start sending them to their neighbors and ask them to personally deliver for you.

And I would tell little Mr No-Nuts that the neighbors and his co-workers were all going to get copies if you don't get to talk to his wife. You never gave him permission to talk to yours. Just be truthful and be able to prove everything in your letter and there is no slander possible.

H$ll, you can rent a bill board in his neighborhood proclaiming the facts," Mr. No-Nuts is having an adulterous affair with my wife. Did you all have a good time at Infidel Hotel on 00-00-07 when I caught you both there?"

You just have to be able to prove it is the truth.

Now you know he doesn't want the school kids to see that!

Maybe these are outlandish ideas, but he is outlandish.
Cut your wife off financially, take her car. Back in the day there were folks who only had one family car. If you haven't told WW's parents, it's more than time.

22 Dev,

I have told those closest to WW. In fact, I update them with new info and they go back to WW to confront.

I have cut my WW off financially -- she is using her own paycheck to fund for everything concerning her!

I had some close 'respectable' friends contact OM to let him know that his conduct is unacceptable!

You best believe that I will protect myself against slander by proving every claim I make against OM.

Bluenote, what about driving to the guard gate and telling them OM is having an affair with your W and ask them to call the OMW right there and ask if you can come see her? Have you tried this?

ML,

I tried exactly this! You would have thought that the guard asked if I could see 'Pres Bush!'

They would not even relay a message to OMW for me or allow ome to leave a folder of info at the gate for her to come pick up!

What would you think about me driving my WW over to OMW's house along with OM? Think there would be too many fireworks?

According to my GPS I know that WW is with OM in a parking lot right now while I am watching my 3 kids!

I will be taking the keys to the car she is driving tonight! She is really attached to this vehicle (2007 vehicle)! (I bought all of our vehicles).

I will give her our OLD vehicle (1993) to drive -- she will hate this swith a passion! This will put a kink in her "I'm all that" armor. I know this does not do too much to quell the A, but is does give her a dose of reality!

Bluenote,

This is a long shot, but try this.

http://www.whitepages.com/find_neighbors

If you put his address in neighbors should come up. Use your cell and be close by the neighborhood so there is no time for anyone to warn OMW you are on your way. Call them all if you have to until someone agrees to let you in when you get to the gate. Tell them why you are calling, even if they won't let you in, all the neighbors will know what he's up to.

I think you have spent (wasted) more than enough time trying to notify her. If she finds out from someone else, at this point, so be it. She is the one who wouldn't let you in. Stop trying to protect her.

Did you email all the teachers? If not, today is a good day for a mass exposure.

Did you happen to see the thread about enabling? You do realize you are enabling this A to continue.

I'm not trying to be harsh, just trying to make you do something that will work.

LC

LC,

I know this may be an LB but I put my WW's clothes in trash bags and placed them by the front door tonight (to meet WW when she returns) since she slipped out with OM while my daughters and I were at Chuck E Cheese.

My DS11 asked to go with WW tonight and she said NO since she was going to the store and would be late -- SURE!!!

She left him home alone and just left! I cannot take this type of betrayal to my kids!

I saw her car parked at the mall and she is away somewhere with OM tonight.

Bluenote,

Good for you. What happened? I hope you didn't let her in when she came back.

I don't think that is LB, there is thread on here somewhere about the difference between LB and putting an end to the A. Did you read that one?

I didn't want to say this last night because I already felt like I was being harsh, but you do know what they are saying about you when they "sneak" off and think they are getting away with it, right?

I use to sneak out of my house in the middle of the night when DH was sleeping and head over to FOM's house. He use to live around the corner from us. I use to go there and say, "OMG, I can't believe how stupid he is, he has no idea I am gone. It is so fun to get away with this." Of course, we can't know for sure what they are saying, but sneaking and getting away with it were all part of the fun. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

It is time to get tough and stay tough. It has to bother you that she is rubbing your face in this, it bothers me and I'm not connected to you at all.

LC