I have "confronted", not "exposed" both WW and OM. OM says he will do anything I ask and he does not want to be a home wrecker. WW and OM are both asking for ways to compromise NC. WW says it is not fair to the kids to separate them from OM. When we told the kids (WW did not want to tell them anything) they expressed
great sorrow and many tears, especially when I told them about NC with OM. WW asks if I can compromise to go over to OM farm to do chores, if we ALL go as a family??!!

WW told me she will NOT reconcile, and will not go to ounseling with me. I allowed OM to talk to my wife, with me, and he told her that he cannot go on with their relationship and that is must be the way I have asked (except he asked if we could work out a contact compromise). OM told my wife that she needs to direct
the time and love she has for him toward our family, to seek God, to not make a
rash decision, and to go to counseling with me. My wife said it plain out, yes, I am having an affair, I LOVE HIM! Then she asked WHAT IS LOVE (with great sobbing and pain). OM left telling her he cannot have a relationship with him. She started crying and gaging at the pain. She is outside thinking now. Please pray.

What do I do now???? She is so angry and you have never seen such hateful stares in your life. Plan A my butt off, right?!

It was hard talking to her. She threw everything I had ever done at me. I see it now, but I actually was having an EA with her younger sister many years ago. It did
not go as far as my WW, but it was wrong. She brought up our sexual relationship, and how she can NEVER forget and RESENTS what I did to her. All I kept saying was I wanted to rebuild our marriage. She kept saying we NEVER HAD a marriage. She said that marriage to her was only one word, suffering. She never loved me.

It feels like I have done the wrong thing. She came to me asking to go to counseling years ago. I said we could work it out ourselves. Then she started relationship with OM. Now she says that, "You only want to go to counseling
because it is MY fault now, not yours".

Please pray. Please help.

Well we found out what we already knew....she was having an affair and had fallen "in love".

Tell her that you take responsibility for 1/2 of the state of the marriage that would let her entertain giving herself emotionally/other to another man. But that the EA was a conscience choice that she made and that is hers to bare.

Plan A and get counseling w/ the Harley's set up.

Hope,
Seems you have finally taken back some kind of control in your M , good for you!



The very short answer is "absolutely not!!"



It seems as if you didn't really already know this, when in fact you, instinctively did. Trust your gut. It won't lie to you. OTOH, at least you now have you WW's full admission that she considered it an A and can no longer deny the truth about it. This, could actually, be a very good plus in your favor. No more denial!



Yep, exactly right. The real work has just begun now. You need to become an expert on plan a and how to attract your WW back into the M, and hope that she falls in love with you all over again. NC will be your biggest obstacle to making this happen, thus, you must be dillgent in your efforts here. Expect, in the midst of all these overwhelming emotions, that attempts, or even real NC, will be broken, perhaps a number of times. It goes with the territory. Your task is to unearth such attempts and remind your WW of your absolute boundary of NC.



You're frightened Hope, it's a normal feeling. Ask yourself "what would you do if you weren't frightened?(from my good friend Bob Pure)
The good point is she has admitted "it is my fault now, not yours." This could be a good starting point, as, she is correct, this was her choice and thus, her fault. That's just the way it is.


I shall, and you should do much of the same. You indeeed do have alot of hope her. I see this working out, but keep your hope and faith, in God's timing.

All Blessings,
Jerry

You did the right thing, Hopeful. Now be prepared for some serious sneaking around. They will sneak around in order to keep seeing each other. This will get worse and worse until you get your family out of there. I would suggest finding a nice house away from there to rent and putting your house up for sale. She will never withdraw as long as you live next door.

All of the things she is saying are TEXTBOOK wayward fog babblings, so don't let it upset you. THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING: "I never loved you," blah, blah, blah.... This will change once CONTACT ENDS and she withdraws.

Your priority now is to ENSURE no contact. You have to move if you want to achieve that.

Just be as calm and loving as possible. Realize that you have just removed the crack pipe from the crack addict and treat her accordingly. Don't allow her to bait you into a fight.

find a way to move, hopeful!

Dr. Harley in Coping with Infidelity: Part 2
How Should Affairs End?


Never see or communicate with a former lover

Once an affair is first revealed, whether it's discovered or admitted, the victimized spouse is usually in a state of shock. The first reaction is usually panic, but it's quickly followed by anger. Divorce and sometimes even murder are contemplated. But after some time passes (usually about three weeks), most couples decide that they will try to pull together and save their marriage.

The one having an affair is in no position to bargain, but he or she usually tries anyway. The bargaining effort usually boils down to somehow keeping the lover in the loop. You'd think that the unfaithful spouse would be so aware of his or her weaknesses, and so aware of the pain inflicted, that every effort would be made to avoid further contact with the lover as an act of thoughtfulness to the stunned spouse. But instead, the unfaithful spouse argues that the relationship was "only sexual" or was "emotional but not sexual" or some other peculiar description to prove that continued contact with the lover would be okay.

Most victimized spouses intuitively understand that all contact with a lover must end for life. Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the affair, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to someone who has been through ******. What victimized spouse would ever want to know that his or her spouse is seeing or communicating with a former lover at work or in some other activity?

In spite of career sacrifices, friendships, and issues relating to children's schooling, I am adamant in recommending that there be no contact with a former lover for life. For many, that means a move to another state. But to do otherwise fails to recognize the nature of addiction and its cure.

<snip>

We don't know if R.J. still sees his lover, but he says he has broken off all contact. In many cases where a person is still in town, that's hard to prove. But one thing's for sure, if he ever does see his lover, it will put him in a state of perpetual withdrawal from his addiction, and make the resolution of his marriage essentially impossible. In fact, one of the reasons he is not recovering after three months of separation may be that he is not being truthful about the separation.

Entire article at: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5060_qa.html

How to Survive an Affair chapter in HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS
p. 177

...I have seen husbands build new and wonderful relationships with their wives but then go back to their lovers after five or six years of what appeared to be marital bliss. When I ask them why, they inevitably tell me they miss the woman terribly and still love her. At the same time they stoutly affirm they love their wives dearly and would not think of leaving them.

I believe a man like this has told the truth. He is hopelessly entangled and needs all the help possible to be kept away from his lover and stay faithful to his wife. I often recommend that a man once involved in an affair come in to see me every three to six months on an indefinite basis, just to talk about how things are going and to let me know how successfully he has stayed away from his lover. He must resign himself to a lifetime without her. HE MUST CERTAINLY NOT WORK WITH HIS FORMER LOVER AND SHOULD PROBABLY LIVE IN SOME OTHER CITY OR STATE. Even with those restrictions the desire for her company persists...

EX....ACT...LY!!!!!!!

Are you reading and understading this Hope?????

There's no compromise here!!

All Blessings,
Jerry

OK, you've confirmed your suspicion. And at least your WW is admitting it was an affair. It sounds as if the OM maybe was not as emotionally involved as your WW? And it's good news that he is stating that it must end. BUT he is naively thinking the friendship/contact can continue... If he is sincere in not wanting to break up your marriage then maybe it would help to provide him information about why no contact is necessary? Unfortunately, because he lives right next door no contact will pretty much be impossible unless somebody moves away. Also, since your kids are so involved with him too, it's going to be tough. I don't remember if you've said how old your kids are? If they're old enough to understand, explain to them WHY there won't be any more socializing with the OM.

Now, go ahead and proceed with EXPOSING to any and everyone relevent. She'll be angry for sure but don't let that stop you from exposing. Again, if your kids are old enough, tell them WHY this change has to be made!!! I also can't remember whether or not you've told her relatives yet.

She's rewriting history already. First she was trying to convince you their friendship was harmless... now she admits it is more AND that your marriage never was a marriage... fog-babble

Oh and I almost forgot: I wanted to assure you that even though she wanted to go to counseling in the past, and you missed that opportunity, that STILL is no excuse for her. The truth is she CHOSE to allow herself to inappropriately give and get attention from an OM. With the amount of time she and he spent together it was bound to happen - even if your marriage was at it's best. And even if yor marriage were really bad, it never would have happened if she has not taken such foolish risks. (I know for a fact that it's possible for a wife to remain faithful even if her husband doesn't meet her most important emotional needs, and doesn't go to counselign with her, and doesn't work at improving the marriage. Because I was such a wife. I certainly had plenty of excuse and opportunity to stray. But I CHOSE not to. AND I chose not to even put myself into risky situations.)

The no contact thing is going to be really hard in your case. Make sure when you expose to others to give them the info about why that's required so they will understand and support no contact too.

Hi HNH

Good for you in confronting both your WW and OM. I’m sure it was the hardest thing you have done in your life…but things will get more difficult for you now….sorry…..the roller-coaster is just beginning.

Not quite sure where to start with you here, as I have so much from my own experience as a FWW in this same scenario.

You may have some responsibility for problems in your marriage, but your wife is the one who CHOSE to have the affair. YOU are not responsible for that, nor are you responsible for what happens to OM. He is a man and made his own (bad) decisions. You ARE responsible, before God, for what happens to your family. YOU are responsible to fight for them, to protect them. This includes your wife at this time as she is very vulnerable. You need to explain to your children in an age-appropriate way, what has happened and why. They need the truth from their dad, so they know it is not their fault. Their mom is not capable of that just now.

Our sons were 16,14 and 12 yrs when our d-day occurred. OM and his family were very good friends with our family. We had been on long vacations together, he was our eldest’s football coach, OM’s youngest son was like a brother to our youngest, they were inseparable. Our families spent a lot (too much really in hindsight) of leisure time together. My H was away a lot for work ( like all week interstate and home on weekends for months on end) and OM helped out with taking the boys to training etc. Our sons loved him and were close to him. He was a good friend of my H as well. My H and our sons felt totally betrayed.

Now nearly 2 yrs after D-day, our eldest son wants nothing at all to do with OM, our middle son, still wants to talk to him but knows he cannot and that OM has caused a dreadful upset in our family, our youngest knows he cannot have anything to do with him, know why, but really does not fully understand. We have severed all contact with OM and his family. This has caused me enormous heartbreak on account of our youngest son. I think he still grieves the loss of that friendship. After we moved out of our home for 4 months, OMW eventually took OM back and she wanted to move out of neighbour hood because of all the bad memories now. Our sons have had to change football clubs, I have had to change my shopping habits etc so as to maintain no contact, still, nearly 2 yrs post d-day. It is something I do for my DH and also for myself as I never want to see him again.

Not surprisingly both WW and OM want to keep some sort of contact happening……I remember thinking this too….’but I could still say hello to him if I saw him in the street, couldn’t I ?”….NO!!!.....Remember you have just taken the crack pipe from the addict….they are not even allowed a sniff of it EVER again….Affairs are an addiction. The emotional needs met by OP set off a chemical reaction in WW/WH and ‘its been so long since they have felt that way about anyone’…”my H/W hasn’t made me feel that way since we were courting”….’I feel like a teenager again” (my personal favourite)….gag, puke vomit…..I have felt ALL of these, and WW will most likely say them to you too to justify her actions.OM is making noises like he wants NC, but you will need to be totally vigiliant…maybe work from home/take some time off due to family crisis. Desperate WW will do whatever it takes to get their fix.

Your should consider moving churches and moving house…or maybe just moving house far away will solve the moving church thing. I would ask your pastor to get a MALE member of the church keep an eye on OM and maybe help him with farm if necessary. He may get depressed as a result of all this and need someone keeping an eye on him (also keeping him away from your wife!!)

Also be prepared for the fact that your pastor will have no idea how to tackle infidelity. Some are even against Dr Harley’s (a full-on Christian btw) concepts. Our pastor (who has known us for about 20 yrs) had no clue how to handle our problem. I can honestly say I don’t know where we would be today if my H had not found MB….It saved our marriage.

Your W will be angry etc. Heck I even tried to justify my A by saying that God did not want me to have the sort of marriage I had. This may have been true, but having an A was not the answer DUH!! She will not want her kids to be a statistic. She probably still loves you, but is not in love with you ( I was just the same, still not a reason for an A).

I will be praying for you …this is a very difficult time for you both. Hang in there ….you are fighting the GOOD fight…it is a fight of dark vs light and light wins …YAY!!

mrskahuna:

"I would ask your pastor to get a MALE member of the church keep an eye on OM and maybe help him with farm if necessary. He may get depressed as a result of all this and need someone keeping an eye on him (also keeping him away from your wife!!)"

I agree - that's an excellent suggestion!

Actually I had suggested the BH try to find some other volunteers (besides his WW) to help the OM on his farm BUT I didn't think of it as being a way for somebody to keep the OM accountable with no contact and to help him with withdrawal! I think anyone who REALLY needs that much help with his farm probably should retire from farming anyway (I'm assuming his farm isn't profitable enough for him to hire some help). Maybe it would be a good idea if the pastor would talk to him about selling his farm and moving, hiring somebody to do the work the WW was doing, or enlisting some male (or single female) volunteers to help him.

GREAT job in confronting!!!

It sounds like you handled it perfectly!!!

I'm also amazed that OM responded the way he did...most tend to go the other way.

All the advice you've been given about expecting NC to be violated (by WW or OM) is on the money. Keep constant vigilance, and confront any violations on that boundary.

On exposing...

I completely agree with doing so. You do want to be VERY careful in the message you give when you expose, btw. You'll want to make it very, very clear to the people you expose to that you're doing this and asking them to help you, and to help your wife, while your family is dealing with this. Tell them how much you love her, and ensure that they hear clearly that you're asking them for their assistance and support in repairing your marriage. Ask them to be there for her, to help her maintain NC, and support her because you know she's going to have such a difficult time in sticking to NC and working on your marriage. Tell them about all that you've learned here about how addictive affairs are, make sure that they understand that you're asking their help in supporting your wife in her agreement to end the affair and work on your marriage. Tell them that you know she's going to 'waffle' on that choice, and that you're asking them to help her stay strong.

Make it a CLEAR MESSAGE OF LOVE AND DESIRE TO REPAIR AND REBUILD YOUR MARRIAGE.

And when you're done talking to them, you can expect your wife to be FURIOUS. Either they'll call her, or you'll tell her yourself, and she'll go ballistic on you. She'll tell you that now she'll NEVER love you, that she was GOING to, but now there's no way that she'll work on the marriage. Standard script, we see it here all the time. Tell her the TRUTH...that you've asked them to HELP her and you...that they're not condemning her, but want to be there for the both of you as you work through this. This is how I handled exposure in my case...and I hadn't been here when I was doing it...I was doing it just because it seemed the smartest thing to do at the time.

Start proactively looking for ways to ENSURE that NC stays in place. For now, the kids should be with the wife whenever she goes ANYWHERE without you. When she's home alone during the day, the kids are with her the whole time. Tell her you KNOW that she's going to be tempted to break NC...this way she can help herself stay strong and not do it.

Get started in working on moving...NOW. Start looking around, see what needs to happen to get it done.

You've done a GREAT start...keep this up.

Oh...and get into marriage counseling ASAP. Your wife may refuse to go...make it clear that you're going even if she doesn't. She won't want to go because she's going to want to hide her "dirty little secret". Don't let it be a secret, and she'll be forced to deal with it. Get that help and guidance you'll need to get through this.

Again, great start man. HANG IN THERE!!! Make sure you know plan A inside and out...and STICK TO IT!!

WW does NOT agree to NC. She says it is totally selfish of me to ask that of her, or the OM. As soon as chore time came (time to go to OM farm) after confronting her, she headed over there. Shortly after, she was back home. The OM told her that he would not go against what I said for NC. But I KNOW he still wants to have a relationship with her, and she with him. They both keep asking me to come to a compromise. WW wants me to go with the kids and her to help with chores. Says she won't be with him unless I am there. I know, I know, NC!

She has reluctantly agreed to counseling. I am calling around to try to find a Christian counselor in our area. I think she is hoping that he counselor will say I should compromise and allow contact. We talked with a Elder at our church last night and he convinced her to give it some time (he said a month). But I know all that will do is give my wife a waiting period and will thwart any chance for change of heart. What if MC does not practice NC?

Also, my wife won't go on a vacation or leave our farm. Much less, move. I wanted to go away for a few weeks, then find a place to rent for awhile. But she is against all that. How do I avoid LB activity when she is on me every day to allow contact?

She considers what I have done, a "my way or the highway" plan and that I am selfish. I have taken next week off work, and will take more time as needed. Should I try to do some day trips, and just go with the kids if she won't join us?

I do computer work from home, so I am always here (for the past 4 years). And I think OM will by his Christian beliefs abide by my asking. Plus our church Elders are already visiting with him for accountability. So that is all in place, and has been a HUGE help. But the feelings my WW had for OM are INTENSE. She is VERY angry with me. It seems impossible that she could love me again someday. BUT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!! I will keep praying. Many are praying. Please keep praying!

Don't waste your time with a Christian Counsellor. I say that as one of many Christians who has found such wanting.

Find one that uses MB principles because they work. You can even do a search on this site for one.

Your wife does have to re-connect with God. This will happen as you enter recovery, but it doesn't have to come first. MB works regardless of what your religious beliefs are.

Hopeful, just know that you are not selfish to insist that your wife not have an affair. Your wife has lost her mind to imagine that her own husband would sit by and allow her to carry on an adulterous affair. Adultery is as traumatic as RAPE, Hopeful. This is what she is doing to you.

Please watch this video of Dr. Harley on adultery and ask her to watch it: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3261867

[do not send her here to this thread, though!]

What you should do now is expose the affair to her parents, your parents and have your pastor speak with her. Everyone should know. Exposure is chemotherapy to cancer.

HIS PASTOR should be told that this man wants to continue his affair with a married woman so the church can deal with it. Your pastor should be over there having a talk with your wife.

Additionally, your children should be told the truth about the affair and given MORAL GUIDANCE. They know this is wrong, but if you don't tell them WHY, they will grow up morally confused and will have affairs themselves. They should be allowed around her affair again. The OM has done a bad thing and your kids should not be around him.

If you find a MC who does not insist on NC, then ask for your money back and LEAVE because such terrible advice will mean the end of your marriage. It will also tell you that you are dealing with someone who does not understand infidelity AND MOST DO NOT! Most are not even PRO-MARRIAGE! Most simply try to faciliatate an amicable divorce when the marriage could be saved!

Marriage counseling has the highest FAILURE RATE of any of the counseling disciplines, only a 16% success rate, so your chances are about nil on finding a qualified MC. I would strongly recommend that you call up Marriage Builders and counsel with STEVE HARLEY. He is a marriage COACH who does phone counseling and he is worth every penny. He will not waste your time yapping about your childhood, but will assess your situation and give you a STRATEGIC PLAN to save your marriage. He understands infidelity, most counselors DO NOT.

Can you even imagine the horrible, immoral lesson this sends to your children? They will grow up morally confused, believing adultery is ok if she is allowed to have her way.

Secondly, does the OM DARE to speak to you after what he has wrought on your family? I am shocked at his utter NERVE. Most adulterers have a modicum of shame, he seems to have none. Please tell him to never speak to you or any member of your family again.

Wow Hope,


Good grief Hope, you say that in such a manner, that suggests, you really should have to reconsider this. If that's the case, and you allow this to happen, you can kiss your M goodbye and start figuring out the custody arrangements with you children.

What hasn't happened yet, and I'm sure it will sooner or later is the anger and resentment stage. I hated that, but guess what, it truly does serve a purpose! It drives home to your WW exactly how badly she has hurt you and her family.
It (I have learned) is a very neccessary part of the process of R. I hope your's doesn't last as long as mine did, as it is a horrid place to live.

OK, for the last time, NC means NC forever and for life!!!! Anything else will spell a false R and you will be back to square one. You don't really want to go back there, do you?

All Blessings,
Jerry

No contact is absolutely necessary. It sounds as if the OM will not allow your wife to spend time with him behind your back? That he's hoping to convince you to compromise on no contact but (for now anyway) won't allow her to come over UNTIL they can talk you into it? It also sounds as if there is some hope on their part that if you and the kids are present then continued contact is OK?

Have you tried explaining to the OM how adultery (even 'just' EA) is addictive and that your wife will need no contact in order to recover fully? The no contact requirement is not widely known about and therefore not always understood or supported. Again, make sure that the OM and everyone you expose to, including your children, understand that the reason you insist on no contact is because your wife and marriage will need no contact to recover.

It's possible that in this case the OM didn't intend for things to go this far, that he sincerely just needed and wanted your wife's friendship and help. He probably just naively believes a return to a platonic friendship level can be accomplished. But as much as he values the friendship (of you, your wife, and your children) your marriage and family are more important. The next time he tries to talk you into allowing some contact maybe you should try to get him to agree to absolute zero contact for an exended period of time after which you will agree to discuss the possibility of contact with him again (BUT not promising that contact WILL ever resume - just that you'd agree to discuss it again with him. Of course when that time comes you again would have to insist on continued no contact.) It might work as a way to get the OM and maybe even your WW to drop their compromise campaign for a while. And if they actually follow through with even a temporary no contact they will at least have their addiction reduced somewhat. I've read it takes at least 3 weeks of total no contact to get over the worst part of the withdrawals, with another 6 months of no contact to more fully withdraw. But even then, contact should never resume at any point in the future. If there is contact withdrawal has to start all over again. Tell the OM that you want to spare your wife having to go through withdrawal over and over again. Ask him to agree to total no contact for 6 months out of kindness to you WW. Then when that time is over, inform him that you still will not agree to contact...

As much as practical, invite people over who agree with you on the no contact. This will make it less likely that she will brazenly trot over to the OM's place, leaving unapproving company behind.

Okay...here comes a 2 x 4. DUCK!

Hope... does you wife carry your balls in a Dixie Cup??? Or does she just keep them in the freezer. No matter where they are...it is time for you to put them back where they belong.

First off...let that sob neighbor of yours know that if he ever speaks to anyone in your family again, there will be repercussions that the police will be needed to sort out.
Next...you are not asking your wife to move...you are moving or the neighbor is moving. That is absolutley necessary for your M to have any chance. This man is not your friend...nor is he a Christian...he is a fraud on both counts and I would make sure that he knows that you are prepared to defend your family against his assault.
If the neighbor ever tries to talk you into allowing contact with your wife or family again...meet his request with an appropriate dose of venom.

As far as your wife goes...let her know that you will not tolerate continued contact and that if she insists on remaining in contact with the OM, she will have to leave. She is dragging your entire family into her mess and you have an obligation to shield your children from the hurt they will suffer at the hands of these infidels.
Let your wife know that you want to have a great M with her and that things can be forgiven...but the bleeding needs to stop here and now.
Don't negotiate with these addicted adulterers. What you need to accomplish right now is not open to negotiation.
Expose this affair to everyone. Have the pastor on speed dial and everytime there is even the slightest hint of contact...make a call to him.
Call a realtor tomorrow and get your house listed. Call Sh if finances allow. But do NOT be passive about this situation. Put your nuts back in place and take charge of your family...before it is too late.
Yes, all things are possible with God...but remember...even as a Christian...there is a time to stand up and be counted...this man is abusing your family with the help of your wife. What are you prepared to do about it?

MEDC is totally correct about this.

HNH, I left my family for 2 wks after d-day and stayed with a girlfriend as my intention at that time was to leave my family to start a new life with OM. The boys would be ok with this and be happy to come with me and live with OM as they really liked OM, he was almost part of the family and I was almost part of his. My H would be ok too as he didn’t really care about us as he was always away with work and when he was home, didn’t really engage with the family so he would hardly miss us …everyone would be fine….happily ever after right????....Oh what a great deception the devil can lead us on….In reality, my H was devastated beyond words, Our sons were heartbroken. My family was destroyed…and why??? Because I wanted to feel more appreciated, I felt unattractive, I was tired of giving to everyone and wanted something for myself….WHERE DO I VOMIT???....

So for her to say that your requests are ‘my way or the highway’ and ‘selfish’ really are a huge red flag for me….AFFAIRS ARE SELFISH behaviour in the extreme. You could even point this out to her, but she will probably not see it like this just now.

Yes she will be VERY angry with you because you have wrecked her little deceptive world she and OM have created. It is an ideal world, but just a deception by the great deceiver, satan himself. Especially for Christian families. He is laughing and rubbing his hands with glee right now. BUT you will overcome this, HNH.

Also be on the lookout for her being ‘worried about how OM is doing”, ‘needing closure with OM’, ‘OM has no-one”..blah, blah, blah…..In my sitch, OM was almost suicidal when I broke off the A. I was worried about him and if OMW would take him back, worried about his kids, if they could work things out….heck I was MORE worried about OM and his family than I was about my OWN H and my 3 wonderful sons who I had put thru ******…how dumb is that…

I am just trying to give you a heads-up to the kind of stuff she will throw at you…it is always the same, regardless of who the OM is. BE STRONG…DO NOT FALL FOR ANY OF IT…read up on this site about what happens after the A is exposed etc

Absolute NO CONTACT is critical from now on…NO exceptions…make sure OM knows he is not welcome at your house or near any of your family ever again. And explain this all to your children, they know something is going on….have known for a long time…and they need to know that what OM and Mom were doing was WRONG. I would be planning outings WITH your WW and the children…do NOT leave her at home alone…DUH!!


BTW...BigK is my DH....he is a wonderful man !!!!