What did Steve say about exposure which was never done?

I like your limited time availability.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

This offer ends soon!

LA

LA:
email me at mimimarriagebuilders@hotmail.com and let me know it's you.

sorry to get into your thread, but I was informed that you, LovingAnyWay could give some good advise. I need some help.

What about moving? Do you really want to be in infidelity playland? You can move, and he can decide whether or not to follow. You are about as credible as I have been -- you'll give him chance after chance; after all, "love endures all." Make him earn a 5th chance by moving.
Cherished

Answers to questions:

Sh says to hold off on exposure for now. He said that Thursday and revisited that today.

Moving is still on the table. Because of some unique things about our situation, moving will be very complicated to arrange. It won't be quick.

And SH wants to talk to us again at the end of the week, before we go home.

Not really making any "offer" to H.... he has already committed the deal breaker many times over, yet is asking for a do over. Without commitment on my part, I am watching to see what he does.

SH told H that my lack of hope was a direct result of his actions; that if he wants to change it he needs to take certain actions.

That's all I can think of to share tonight. It is a little weird to fit in a major marital disaster around a family vacation. I am exhausted. Today's excitement was lunch with DD20 and a long afternoon at the laundromat, fighting for a free dryer. We were to tired to see any thing at all of NY tonight. So we went to the deli around the corner from the hotel for dinner. Wow!

Consider leaving the "not quick" part of moving to him. You move quickly and he moves when he can make the complicated arrangements. Harley's Internet broadcast of the radio show for today has a call in about a woman who was in competition with the OW, and Harley said that with women you need to not compete, you need to leave -- get out of there. As for what he'll do, I bet it's the absolute minimum to keep you around -- because moving is complicated, because he cares about her too, because, because, because... Why aren't you priority #1?
Cherished

Hi Limbo,

Cherished asked the most important question:


That would be the deal-breaker for me. My H has convinced me that my healing is #1 to everything....he even quit coaching (his passion) b/c it took too much time.

What will it take for your H to prove to you that you are #1? I would settle for no less, especially since we're dealing with Strike 5. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Acey

Limbo,
Just wanted to let you know that you are thought about. I understand the complications of a move with the difficulties with your son and a medical practice. I would not move without him if you are going to make it. You have to know where to go, etc. What services are available to assist you. But, if he fails, then you go to where things would be good for you. While he is proving his interest in recovering this time, you can explore your options for both outcomes. Where would you want to go? As, you don't want to stay there, right? When you have a list of possible places, investigate them for whatever requirements your new place should have (family community, schools, shopping, outdoor activities...whatever your wants/needs are) If he stays on board, then you can go down your list and see which ones would accomadate his professional needs as well.

I hope he gives you full transparency. I would call him on any hesitation with any of it. The bottome line is if you want me to hope, or believe you, then you should not be doing anything that needs to be hidden. No Privacy/secrecy, they are one in the same. Enjoy your time with your kids, hang in there.

FTS

Hi Limbo,

Ditto what Fled sed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

How's it going?

Acey <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi all.

I'm OK. H wrote the NC email today. I asked for changes, which he argued about, but accommodated. He has given me his work email access.
He said yesterday, "If we divorce, it is going to be really awful for you for a long time. If we stay together, it is going to be really awful for you for a long time. I understand that is all my doing."
Which is all true.

So we had an OK day with the kids today, game at Yankee Stadium tonight. Yankees got trounced, which is OK for Dodgers fans, and we tried out the food at a new to us ball park and bought souvenirs. A good time was had by all.

I have been in his face about putting her feelings above mine (the NC email.) I will not be anything but # 1. Making that a reality will take some time.

I did tell him today that when he refers to me, it is important to use my name instead of "my wife"... so as to not depersonalize me or put me at arms' length. And I made him call OW's H by name in his NC email. He hated that. Too bad.

Tomorrow we are off to Boston with DD20 after she gets off work. Red Sox game Friday, not sure what else.

So, no disasters today, no miracles, just putting one foot in front of the other.

Hey Limbo,

Withdrawal Sucks. Period. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Sorry your vacation has to be the backdrop for this travesty, but glad you had a relatively calm day.

Thanks for checking in. Hold your ground in being #1. He will thank you for it eventually, even if it does not seem possible now.


It took my WH 4 D-Days to utter similar words. But it was major for me when I heard it. MC agreed.

Keep hanging in there Limbo.

Acey <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

You may think you have been in his face about his putting her feelings above yours. What he may be thinking is you are putting your feelings above his. What you want is a situation that works for both of you.
Cherished

Hang in there!! Good job on the NC e-mail. I think your right, it's very important that the OWH have a name and face, not just a title. It makes what they did more personal to both you and the OWH.

FTS

Hi Limbo,

Hope you're doing OK. I'm praying for you.

Ace

Hey Limbo,

Are you in Bean town? How's it going?

Ace

In Boston. The vacation part is OK, the recovery stuff is really hard. I've got no self-cntrol, no grace to give. Just raw and broken.
H is tryng,but he has so much to overcome.

I

Hang in there and stick with the program. One wonderful thing about MB is that if you persevere long enough, things come out fine. Either your hubby will get it or not. And if he doesn't and continues down his path, you won't care at all. It is very freeing.

Your post caught my attn. w? the "4 d-days". I've already had 3 myself and am asking why I allowed 3. I'm so worried I could be at 4 down the road... Hope not.

Hey Limbo......

Great words of wisdom from Believer....keep with the program. Draw strength from all of us....your MB Buffalo herd....did you see the video Chrisner posted on the 50 Something Thread? I just introduced a new topic but you can still read the discussion of my Buffalo/Lions analogy.

You can also be encouraged that he IS with you NOW. Take one step at a time. Do have another appt. scheduled with SH?

I'm praying for you. Enjoy the game today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Acey <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Daisyeln,

You've got mail.....well.... you will when I hit "send".

Ace <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />