absolutely.

I consider the source all the time. It is the same as my posts to Mimi regarding her Eleanor Roosevelt thread....very inspirational thoughts to be sure...to me they are diminished because they came from a woman that committed adultery for 22 years with multiple partners, male and female.



So, yes, Graplin...perhaps we differ there, but I do always consider the source of the information. That is why I am here on MB...and not GloryB...I am certain I could get infidelity advice there too...I just find this site more credible.

So it is not always the words standing on their own, IMO...sometimes it is the person saying them too. Hitler had some great...noteworthy quotes about his belief in God...yet every last one of them is lost because of who the man was.

this is what i felt has happened from the onset and again last night. and i don't know how to respond to it.

in captains thread, my initial post of disgust with the way people were saying to act flipently was wrong. i should of taken some time, let my emotions calm a bit and then posted more respectfully. my mistake. it pushed buttons in me, i don't think anyone deserves to be treated "flippently". but that is my issue and i realize one that has roots due to the neglect that occured in my family of origin. i understand what others were saying to Captain and it makes sense too.

but how quickly it fell apart so much and became all of this, is crazy. i guess i have seen it before but it throws me whenever it happens here cuz i really don't expect this from people here. i suppose that is a unrealistic expectation. this is a large group of people, you are bound to have all kinds.

all i know is i am committed to conducting myself respectfully.

Yeah... uh-huh... there is NO ATTITUDE towards waywards on this board... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> It's ALLLLL in our minds. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I have to wonder... how many people will have to complain about MEDC and ML before something is done? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> It's funny because after the thread graplin got into with ML on I thought to myself that ML seemed to be gaslighting graplin by saying it was all her. All she did was ask for clarification and she was accused of ALL kinds of things that were unfounded by ML. Her words were twisted and misquoted. It's a common tactic used by ML.

I do think ML and MEDC offer a lot to this board. It's the way they bring out the worst in some people that's disturbing, then they turn it on the person like it's their fault. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

ML,

"And you think that anyone who disputes you using reason instead of emotion is "gaslighting" you, LA"

That's not what I think, ML. You continually telling me what I think or feel won't make me think it, either. Name calling isn't in my code. It's in yours. Labeling, DJing...because you do it often. And then you say, "That's okay by Dr. Harley, I'm not trying to fill your love bank." Nor my respect one.

It's working.

Disrespect remains what it is. To assume, mindread and then tell others what is solely theirs. That's what you're doing. No one can stop you. No reason to...doesn't say a thing about us...your assumptions speak of you.

"confusing. It is shameful to see you encourage that same victim mentality in FLTH. She is not a victim, she purposely set out to condemn other posters ["this is disgusting"] on that thread and is only miffed because she couldn't defend herself rationally."

I know what you do, ML. Your opinion is that I'm encouraging FLTH in her victim mentality. She's not in one. That's your opinion and MrsW's opinion, not mine. Not fact. You can say it all you want...doesn't make it the truth. Just yours. Which is valid. It's what you see.

You often say "this is disgusting"...you define what others are doing, what they're thinking and tell them what they should feel and think. That's you, ML. FLTH felt disgust, apparently. Her stuff. I have often felt disgusted...got that gut-turning over nausea for what I perceive as you mocking, belittling and bullying others.

What a blessing to me...because you have helped me tremendously in my life-long understanding of how others see me. I am very serious. I believe you are God-sent, in all your complex humanness to truly help others.

And I'm saddened that no one here seems to be helping you in yours.

No one needs to defend their position, ML. FLTH asked a question you won't answer. That's okay. You don't have to defend your position either...because it's not a position...it's your opinion. It's how and what you think. Not some universal truth...just yours and speaks of your stuff. You.

When Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves...he didn't say look to evidence and reason to do so. He said to do it. Part of love is respect...and I believe you don't show your own opinions great respect when you are out to change, define, prove others stuff to them...because it's NOT yours.

Their actions come into your domain...their thoughts, feelings, perceptions and perspectives...their BELIEFS remain theirs. FLTH invited MrsW to help her examine something which you both did. FLTH's examination is anything in the immature realm. She's considering, contemplating and checking herself.

You could learn from her, ML.

You have called me many names...on the authority that you can, through evidence and reason prove they are appropriate...as if they are more than your opinion. So has MEDC and others. I am not the victim of your bullying, nor was Suzet or FLTH...not because you didn't bully or gaslight, ML. I believe you do and do it extremely well. Because I know I'm your equal...and so are my opinions.

Took quite awhile. That you see me believing others are victims isn't real. It's your opinion. I see them as my equals...and you as the wayward you continually label others.

My opinion.

We've been round this mulberry bush a few times together...and when you choose to examine, as FLTH did on this thread...and see where "any sane person can see" is name-calling to whomever disagrees with your perception...then I'm here for ya. Really.

I remember being wayward...and doing a lot of damage in the name of evidence and reason...that's the fog. That's where up is down and you make me...and I'm right comes from. Still a lure. I remember.

You're not insane, wrong or bad, ML.

You're just really disrespectful to others who choose not to believe what you believe or perceive what you perceive.

" You do this board a great disservice by enabling all this self centered victimhood because it detracts from others here who really are victims. Instead of focusing on people whose lives are being destroyed by adultery, we have to focus on the perceived slight of some self absorbed, immature drama queen. Why not help the REAL VICTIMS, LA?

gaslighting, indeed!"

I understand you believe I do this board a disservice. I disagree. I believe in sharing...saying "I'm feeling pain" right now as an honest act...and looking for the source INSIDE. To me, that's what Suzet, FLTH, JJ, FH, (the list gets too long), are/were doing. Sharing. I confirm I heard their stuff as theirs...that they aren't crazy or backwards in their own thoughts...those are their thoughts and feelings...about them.

I'm not enabling...it's listen and repeat...acknowledging what is there's. I understand you don't perceive this...I get that you don't get that.

Self-absorbed drama queen...which one? You called me that, MEDC has called me a fraud, BobPure called me a drama queen, too...I don't see this as drama. I see it as disrespectful behavior in the name of Dr. Harley.

It's real...it's intentional...and your DJs are not enhancing this board...extending your opinions as fact will enable far more waywards with your proof and it's okay when "they" deserve it (MEDC's belief) than saying, "I see. I've experienced that. Stop giving your power away to someone who doesn't live by your rules." Which is you, ML.

You can shout until the roof falls in, ML..laugh, mock and declare...and it won't make me take your opinion as the truth. I respect it's yours. About you. And appreciate you share who you are--which doesn't enable anyone...nor do I. They choose.

You say my opinion is shameful to you. I do not feel shame for telling FLTH she's not crazy. You fire away with your opinions and questions...and say, "Hey, she started it."

Then you agree to rank immaturity levels of someone else.

And you can't see yourself doing this, ML. That's the really scary part to me.

Which helps me to feel fear and not react to it. You're as essential as everyone else on this board. And I don't choose to believe that people earn name-calling, DJs, etc. If that were true for me, then BS's would have earned infidelity. That's impossible. No one earns it. Ever.

Gaslighting is a part of infidelity...when the WS is telling the BS that their feelings, thoughts, beliefs aren't real...that they shouldn't feel what they're feeling...that they are the problem. That's what I hear you saying, ML. Very much the same. WS's saying stuff like "reason is not your friend" to the BS. WS say BS's are being irrational, self-absorbed...lots of the same stuff...and often, drama queens (making something out of nothing).

In understanding your opinion is yours...your truth, not the truth, I believe you're helping BS's and FWS's very much.

LA

4859

I am only going to say this one time, so pay attention ladies and gents.

DIVERSITY.

We have diversity here and that is a good thing. I do not like some of the name calling, but that is price we pay for diversity of thought processes and opinions. Graplin made a heckofa point that I had NOT even thought of. Mel might be the next one to so do.

We need the combined power of lots of people THINKING and if sometimes that means things get a little unruly, so be it.

Larry

agreed Larry.

Are we at 4858 yet??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

no...that's the number remaining. actually Mel is three ahead of me but I have been closing very quickly...I figure by the end of next week she will be in my dust!

LA, I cannot decipher about half of what you said because you speak in incoherent circles, but I will simply point out that this is simply "your truth," and not neccesarily THE TRUTH. I also see what you do, and the confusion in your posts. I have no doubt that its just easier for you to dismiss others as "gaslighters" than it is to focus on the source of your confusion: yourself. Just because you perceive something does not make it true or even rational, though.

I am reminded that I am speaking to a woman who believes that affairs are "gifts" to the betrayed spouse and instead views the wayward victimizer as the victim in most cases. [stated to a fresh BS: "She brought you a gift; a terribly painful, life-altering one"]

The truth is exactly as I said, that you do other waywards a profound disservice when you encourage this victim mentality. This thread and Suzet's are perfect examples of that. Rather than helping Suzet react in a healthy, adult manner to criticism, you encourage her victim mentality. You say nothing about her immature grandstanding and dishonesty about being banned. You say nothing to FLTH about her dishonesty on this thread or her completely unneccesary meltdown on Capitan's thread. You are an enabler, LA, and that makes me very sad. I know that your posts are very helpful to some, but the damage you do with your enabling hardly compensates for that, IMO.

i have not been dishonest on this thread.

i see no constructive words from you Melody. only insults and rudeness and now lies.

LA, i understood your post, of course, reason is not my friend, go figure.

if ML can not decipher it, that is her problem.

So now he's speaking in incoherent circles? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> He was pretty [email]d@mn[/email] clear to me. You just don't like what he's saying so you do your usual... ridicule and deflect. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Very well put, Graplin.

Seriously, I "hear" more disrespectful judgements on MB than in real life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Lori

LA is a SHE. I am glad it made sense to you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

does not matter if LA is female or male.

is that the only thing you can pick on now Melody?

I find your circles coherent, LA. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Fox

4857

Ridicule and deflect... ridicule and deflect... yawn...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

My coworker is in a really pissy mood today, so she is over there typing a nasty letter to our governer, telling her how much she hates her. This is what she tends to do when she finds herself ticked off about something. She starts writing letters to politicians.

All I know is my freaking stomach would be killing me by now on this thread back in the day.

I'm too old now to take too much of anything seriously anymore.

I am making a mental note that if I ever do again though, I will get on word and start writing letters to politicians as well.

Larry did you say something? Can you repeat it, please?

I wonder if all these minds on here with their combined power could figure out a way to lower our gas prices?

LMAO Weaver!!!