Tami,

Most guys have the horn growing out of their forehead!

I bet your H did sense you withdrawing and thus the extra effort. Maybe he felt some sense of loss and it got him motivated!! Just think how he'd be if you were moving on with your life without him! That'd be some motivation wouldn't it?!

I don't believe he has lost the loving feelings but that his love is buried under all the resentments plus the confusion from the A.

How to get the love back is to resolve issues in the M and for him to be completely free from the A. The question is how to motivate him to work on those issues. That may be where plan B comes in.

He's got to know that you won't hang in there forever with the way things have been and that you are perfectly capable of caring for yourself and the kids. There are so many great things he would be losing and he knows that.

Good luck on your job review. I know you deserve a nice bump in salary!

Denise

Hi everyone,


Just to let you know I started a new thread--titled: He's moving out .... I'm moving on?

I would "bump" but don't know how.

Hope to see you all over there.

Fled,

Swim lessons...I was a aqua-mom since my daughter started swimming at age 6. It seems that I've spent half my life in a pool between the kids swim lessons, practices, meets and now waterpolo. But at least it's WARM! Especially if you have snow on the ground--sounds beautiful compare to sheets of rain.

Thanks for all your support and advice....I really do appreciate it. Remember if anytime you need to vent, I'm here.

Tami <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Tami,

I'll look up your other thread.

Not swim lessons, swim practice. He wants to go scuba diving with us. I won't let him until he can swim well to "MY" qualifications. I still hold High school records, it helps the school closed down five years after I graduated but I still hold them as far as DS is concerned. Therefore, I told him I would let him take scuba lessons if he joined the swim team through the winter, I'm hoping he'll like it enough to stick with it after that, so far he does. Then he can do the scuba lessons and go with us to places that don't have high drift diving, We are going to Cozumel again this next spring but I don't want him in the fast currents, not yet.

Fled

Good for you!!!!!

And I have chocolate and cocktails. One is a choclate martini <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Do your Plan B Tami, Work on yourself. You know that he needs MC and NC in order for you to be able to begin to recover and he isn't willing to do those things. Those are your boundaries and it's time to go to Plan B.

Good Luck, and keep posting. Post here if you just want to chat, and the other thread to get the help you need from the people that have been there and made it through.

Fled