We had an absolute blast. Like a second honeymoon.

During our conversation on sunday WW mentioned that OM reminded her of her father. This got me thinking and I think I'm on to something. WW's parents are a real happy couple who do everything together, never go anywhere without each other. My parents on the other hand, if you met them you'd wonder how they ever married. Never do anything together - not much in common.

WW sees relationships as being like her parents and I'm was used to a different kind. WW being a conflict avoider never voiced her concerns. She has a huge need for admiration and I was lacking in giving it to her. As I told her, I never had a chance as she just went and accepted it from OM.

Should I tell her what I know now or is there any point? I want a relationship similar to her parents!

WW came over last night and we put up christmas tree with DS age 2.5. Had a great night. Later we dropped her back to her unit. DS upset when she was leaving. 10 mins later she texted asking "is he ok?". I said "don't worry he is fine". Then she said "ok but I do worry all the time".

Would it be a LB if I said "if you worry that much how can you do this to him?". Or how about, "the only person making you leave is yourself, you always have a choice".

Comments please???

Marriage is

A commitment. Its success doesn't
depend on feelings, circumstances, or
moods - but on two people who are
loyal to each other and the vows they
took on their wedding day....

Marriage is

Hard work. It means chores, disagreements,
misunderstandings, and times when you
might not like each other very much. When
you work at it together, it can be the
greatest blessing in the world.

A relationship where two people must listen,
compromise, and respect. It's an arrangement
that requires a multitude of desisions to be
made together. Listening, respecting, and
compromising go a long way toward keeping
peace and harmony.

Marriage is

A union in which two people learn from
their mistakes, accept each other's faults,
and willingly adjust behaviours that need to
be changed. It's caring enough about each
other to work through disappointing and
hurtful times, and believing in the love that
brought you together in the first place.

Patience and forgiveness. It's being open
and honest, thoughtful and kind.
Marriage means talking things out,
making necessary changes, and forgiving
each other. It's unconditional love at its
most understanding and vunerable - love
that supports, comforts, and is determined to
triumph over every challenge and adversity.

Marriage is a partnership of two unique
people who bring out the very best in each
other and who know that even though they
are wonderful as individuals...they are even
better together.

Left this lying arount the place for WW to find. She took it must of read it and its in the car now. She never said a word as usual.

Plan A seems to be going well for now so all I can do if wait.

Hang in there, and find something to admire about her. Show her, don't tell her.

Spoke to WW's friend last night. She said that "whatever you're doing keep doing it". She says WW has said she has enjoyed the last few times we spent together.

Friend also says that yes she does still have feelings for OM and is afraid she would be weak and give in to him if he did contact her. But at the same time she thinks she is making progress.

Ok need some encouragement. Had my work christmas party last night. WW said "i'd love a free night out" so I said why don't you come? She said who'd mind DS and I said her cousin but she said no she was going for a bbq at cousin's house.

Texted her this morn to see how DS was. She said he was fine and how was the party and "did you pick up? Ha"

What is that about???

Then I asked her what they were doing for the day, she said not much so I suggested going somewhere. I just said "think about it and let me know". So she rings back and says she's been called into work and can I mind DS. I say fine so we just dropped her in there.

What is the sense in her being over in her unit and me being here and we both bored? I really felt like saying that to her today but thankfully I didn't!

What if she is happy with the friends thing and has no itention of recommiting?

Should I ask her out on a date?? Is it too soon?

I'm feeling pretty low. Comments please?

It sounds like you are doing great. If her friend can tell you "Whatever you're doing keep doing it" then you must be making an impression on your wife. Just keep it up and don't make some of the mistakes that I made. After most of my good interactions with my WW, I would ruin it by making disrespectful judgments aimed towards the OM, via email. OM would forward the emails to my WW and she would be mad that I was hurting OM??

It sounds like you are doing great so just be a good man, for yourself and your WW. I know that you are hurting and that you want to lash out, but it does nothing but harm

Ryan.

Thanks Ryan. She is starting to feel 'safe' with me but I don't know if she's happy just to be friends. I obviously am not. I need some advice on when to make my move. Do I ask her out or what?

Should I wait until after we spend christmas together? I will need to know where she stands so I can decide whether Plan B is needed.

Thanks all for your advice

Anybody???

Update:

Picked up WW from work yesterday evening. Came back 'home' and we all had dinner together. DS seemed very happy having us all there. I noticed WW had her shoes off so I said to DS, to come over and rub mummy's feet. He did put was tickleing them so I showed him what to do. He stopped so I continued. After a while she said "don't you think this is a bit wierd?" I said it wasn't and asked if she wanted me to stop. She said obviously not so I carried on. Was just starting to work my way up her leg and the phone rang!

Knowing WW she will be thinking that was a sign from above saying that it was inappropriate. Dang! DS had a bath and she went to her unit with him. Don't know what to think of all this? She mentioned also that she needed to buy a bed (the one she has is on loan from a friend) so obviously has no intention of coming home? I texted her later asking how DS was and she replied "sleeping like a baby", I responded by saying he had a good day. She said "how do you mean? What did ye do? I replied just swimming and stuff and being with us.

Please to all post a few comments and read my posts above where I have asked a few questions. Mr Wondering, you helped and encouraged mywifeilove to 'seduce' his WW. Any comments from yourself would be greatly appreciated.

Please everyone, don't be shy! Please post

"I noticed WW had her shoes off so I said to DS, to come over and rub mummy's feet. He did put was tickleing them so I showed him what to do. He stopped so I continued. After a while she said "don't you think this is a bit wierd?" I said it wasn't and asked if she wanted me to stop. She said obviously not so I carried on. Was just starting to work my way up her leg and the phone rang!"

Next time, maybe you'd better turn the phone off. Sounds like you are doing a good Plan A.

Thanks Believer, my Plan A is excellent. She even asked me yesterday why I was so happy? I just said I'm always happy. So she is noticing a change in me. Just hope she isn't thinking "this is great he's finally over me thank God".

But at the same time she asked if there were any attractive girls in the city sat night at my christmas party. I said yeah plenty, that would be no problem if thats what I wanted. I also told her she was looking 'hot'. She said thanks - so I think she knows exactly how I feel.

Please look at my questions in last few posts

Bump for a few replies

Major news!

Just got a text from WW saying "would you like to have dinner with us tonight? I will pick you up from the bus?"

WTF?????????

Where are you? Kind of late for dinner where I am.

Brisbane Australia. Only 3pm here dec 10th.

This is the first time I'm invited over especially. I'm pretty excited!

Be excited, but don't expect anything. Be friendly, confident and calm. Have a good time. Don't discuss the relationship. Listen to her and SMILE.

Update:

Went to WW's unit for dinner and she had something she wanted to talk about. She asked me how I was etc. so I said I was fine and working on myself. She said that she had noticed a change in me but unfortunately it just reinforces her thinking that we are better that 'things happened'.

She said she knew its not what I wanted ideally but thinks I am getting to a point where I will be fine. She opened the door for me to ask a question so I couldn't resist. I said "the ideal result is for us to be happy together, why are you so convinced that it can't happen?" she just said she didn't believe it could and I said "millions of people restore love to their marriages everyday" then she said "look I just don't want to".

So anyway, she wanted to tell me not to worry about lawyers threats etc. she has called hers off. She wants to let things settle for a while, maybe a few months, so we don't fight and can have a nice christmas. She has called off her lawyer and said I don't need to worry. Then she said that she has taken herself and DS from me and doesn't want to take the house or see me re-mortgaging and left with no money.

She said she left so she wants to sign her half of the house over to DS for when he's older. She doesn't deserve the money. She said lets just see how things go and we can doo that in a few months.

OM came up again in conversation and she says she can't believe he had such a hold over her. She can see what a fraud he is but part of her probably still loves him. No cantact whatsoever according to her and she would strangle him if she saw him. But if she had a time machine she would have done everything the same???

In return for the house agreement, she wants us to stay friends and thinks its great we are getting on so well. All she is worried about now is DS. She says its hard on her own and does get lonely. She doesn't see how she can come back just because A didn't work out. She has to live with that now - thats her path. WTF?

She still thinks she was honest throughout and told me when she knew she wanted OM for sure. Others would have an A behind my back but she couldn't. She still thinks she didn't have an A! She also said that she hates that 'everyone' hates her. I said they don't hate you, just don't understand or agree with your choices. I asked what her parents thought and she said "they would love to see us back together but can't tell me what to do. I can't do it unless its what I want and know its the right thing but I'm just not there.

Again she said part of her would be happy if I met someone else. When I was leaving DS asked me to stay but I said I can't. I believe she wants to cake-eat forever without commitment and is trying to manipulate me into agreeing with the house idea.

I need a HUGE fog breaker quickly! Please I would love to hear from everyone with their thoughts???

Thanks
Vladie