Hey FLT2H - Is there something that you and your DH can do TOGETHER? I think I remember you saying that he liked to golf...

Glad that you're feeling better!

Semper Fi,

RIF

yes he likes to golf and i have golfed with him a few times this past summer but really i'm not in his league, i can't play at the courses he likes to play at.

raquetball would be our thing. i know DH would be agreeable to playing, probably on a regular basis if i would just take the lead and make it happen. only problem is scheduling the time. and we all know that is NOT really a problem. the problem is my hesitency to take the lead and make it happen.

update...

last night, I asked my DH if he would agree to the concept that everyday each one of us has to ask the other for something, so that we can both learn how the other person likes to receive love. He agreed. Today, my request was to play raquetball, he won the first two games to 21 but i won the final game of 11. He has not actually asked me for anything yet. after playing raquetball i asked him if he figured out what he wanted, he said he was not sure, maybe a foot rub. but since we've been home, there has not been an opportunity. kids are almost in bed, i'll just take the initiative now and give him one.

tommorow i plan to ask him to bring me flowers.

i hope he is being honest about being ok with this. he asked me earlier today if i am wanting this because i am feeling neglected. i told him yes, when we don't spend time on a regular basis focusing on each other i feel neglected and overlooked. i think he almost was going to argue but then stopped.

today i also spoke with my mom. very clearly but nicely i told her that i no longer wanted to discuss dad or any of that stuff from the past, that it messes me up for days afterwards. i told her she did not have to fret over the times this has happened in the past, that it is my responsiblity to make sure my desire is clear and that is why i was telling her this now. normally, you try to tell her something and she gets all upset. i didn't let her get upset this time. she did call me late in the evening to apologize and i just firmly said again, not to worry about the past, i was not mad at her. i just need her to understand and respect my desire.

that's my update.

Hey FLT2H!!!

Wow, this is a GREAT update!!!!

It takes time to learn how to communicate with your DH, but it sounds like you guys are making progress!!! Way to go!

...and you handled your mom very well too!

Thanks for the update and keep up the great work!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

not a lot to report. we did have a nice weekend. DH did grant me my request each day. flowers on sat, playing backgammon on sunday. He does not seem as eager to ask for anything FROM me. not sure if i should ask him why that is.

I am so glad things are going better for you. Give your H some time, he may feel uncomfortable asking things of you. He might fear rejection. He may not be wanting to push you. Ask him again if he waits much longer. Still praying for you.