Just got off the phone with my wife. Which was nice since, she was saying that she was just going to have her parents send me an email or text. Her surgery went well. She was still pretty drugged up and was on her way home with her parents. I would love to go see her, but I don't know how that would go over with her and her parents. I had flowers delivered and might check up on her later.

Ryan.

Just swung by my wife's appartment. She didn't look to happy to have me there. I brought a couple of things that I knew she liked. Her favorite tea, some thing to read, and a small cheasecake for her and her parents. When I arrived and knocked on the door, I could hear them inside, her dad woudn't answer the door. So my wife eventually came to the door and invited me inside. We talked for a while in the kitchen about how I just wanted to see how she was doing, and I wanted to drop off a couple of things. She told me that the surgery wasn't a big deal. I was getting ready to excusde myself, when she said oh I also got your plant, "Do you want to see it?" I said sure and walked into the living room. Her parents were sitting on the couch. Her dad got up and shook my hand. We talked briefly about how bad their flight was and that they didn't get in until 2:30am so they didn't get any rest. I took this as a sign to tell them that everyone needed to get some rest so I would leave. I walked out feeling a little blue. It is so sad to go there trying to offer some comfort, and get a semi-cold attitude. Hopefully, she will see it as a nice offer later.

P.S. I am pretty sure that the SUV with NY plates doesn't belong to OM. that is a relief to me.

Ryan.

Don't feel down....hopefully her parents were quiet because they felt the tension....but maybe seeing the good efforts your making they may talk to her about it some....**hugs**...ya did good kid.

Surviving,

Well I hope you are right, but so far her parents have been supportive of the affair.... They continue to tell her that it is important for her to be happy, and that he makes her happy. I guess I shouldn't expect them to be on my side. I wish that they would read about affairs before they support the affair. I guess they are doing what 99% of parents do, and that is support their children.

Thanks for the pick me up though ;-)

Ryan.

any time man....thats what we are here for....hey you know you have mail right :P

Sometimes I just wish there was a way to tell and remind FIL's of the wedding day when they voluntarily gave their child/daughter to you and that they should keep their promises. As long as you stand by their daughter THEY should not interfere and abscond with their gift. They are parents to the marriage and should honor the marital ceremony that THEY took part in.

I guess...that is...as long as you didn't get married in Vegas on a whim.

Mr. W

Ryan:

PLEASE don't tell me that you were married by ELVIS!

LOL

LG

No Vegas wedding. We got married in my parents home. The house I grew up in. The same person that married my parents, married my wife and I. It was a great day. I gave my wife our wedding album and asked her to make copies of the photos for me, hopefully she will remember.

Ryan.

I meant to say that hopefully she will remember the wedding day and the feelings associated with it, not that she remembers to copy the photos ;-)

Ryan.

Hey Mr. How ya doing today?

Doing OK today. I called my wife about 9:30 this morning to see how she was feeling after her surgery yesterday. She said that she was sore and that she spent all day yesterday sleeping. I tried to talk to her a little bit, but she seemed like either she didn't want to talk or that she was drugged and not really with it. There were long pauses and pretty short answers. I didn't push it and told her to get some more rest. I would have loved to have her call me back today, but I don't see that happening.

On a side note, I found a new position at work. I mentioned earlier in my post that my contract expired and I was out of work until the company could find me a new position. Well I had my interview with the new DoD office and they are really excited for me to start. I am pretty excited about the change. All of the security clearances should be worked out and I will start after Thanksgiving. Until then I suppose am going to be sitting at home going crazy thinking about my situation. I talk to the dog, but he doesn't ever have much to say ;-)

Ryan.

hehe...I bet he may not say what he's thinking...does he perk his ears and [censored] his head to the side and look at you....I love when they try to figure out there humans. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yeah the dog is a great listener.

I don't know why I spend so much time thinking about my wife, when I know she isn't doing the same. I have never been one to obsess, but lately it really has been the only thing on my mind. I want to pick up the phone and call her all the time just to talk. When I exposed her affair she would tell me, "How can you hurt me and then expect to talk like nothing has happened." I know I was following a plan that she knew nothing about, but I just want to say, I am doing the right things to save our marriage. I need to reread all of the PLAN A threads, because I am sure that PLAN A must have an idea of how/when I should be establishing contact. I know I have been on here for a while but I am just now figuring out why my PLAN A was so bad before. I would ask her out and then bombard her with relationship talk. Bad move.

Ryan.

Hi, Have you been keeping up with ark's thread about plan A? That's an awesome one!

you're doing great keep up the good work...we go through withdrawals too...I remember when I wanted to contact POWS (piece of wayward SH**)...it WILL get better...

My dog's been great for me since we moved back home...Sept. 23rd...the kids and I left, no other choice, March 8th...

I have faith in you...you are learning alot! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I am learning a lot, but unfortunately I am a slow student. All of the times I had before to PLAN A I made some serious mistakes. Now I am just starting to get it, and it seems like my wife is already done. Does anyone have any suggestions about when to call and talk to my wife? I know this sounds stupid, but calling as often as I would like will probably just annoy her. If I don't call at all and wait for her, I might not get many chances to PLAN A, if at all?? Right now she has her parents and next week her sister will be her so she has a support system, while I really don't have anyone here but her (all my family is on the West Coast).

Ryan.

Thats why you have us to throw 2x4's at you....it's fun... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I
quality people have options
are you quality??

JB

I thought that you are in PLan B...there's no contacting the wife in PLan B...

That is one of the reasons I am a slow learner. I didn't learn to detach me feelings from my thoughts. I went to PLAN B, because I was upset. After talking to Jennifer, she suggested that my mental state was more stable and my love bank was pretty high, we started back to PLAN A with letters. I have since seen my wife a couple times, met at the dog park, had some light conversations, and talked to her a couple of times after her surgery. I am going to let her enjoy some time with her parents and maybe Sunday I will invite her out for some coffee.

Ryan.

WEll, that sounds like a plan in itself...I would follow would Jennifer has to say...have you planned your next call to her...

I've seen the MB magic work... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />