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I thought they looked the same under a UV,,not sure though
Me-49 and staying there, course AARP sent me my card ugh
H-49
DD and SIL
GS the light of my life! 1 and a half, full of you know what
DS med school
always working on me
•The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Ghandi
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Joined: Nov 2006
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www.getcheckmate.comSemen detection kit.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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LT,
What in the world? Are you saying you've ID some evidence that your W may be messing around or at a minimum pleasuring herself?
IMHO it is a guy's junk seeing your W pretends to be opposed to having sex with you because it appears 'dirty' to her.
<sarcasm>Sex is dirty but pleasuring yourself is OK? </sarcasm>
Come on. She's cheating on you in your own home! Hire yourself a PI and get the goods on her.
Edited to add: Or get that KIT!!!!
Last edited by MrAlias; 10/10/07 03:46 PM.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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LT if she is cheating on you you have my most deepest sympathies. I know what it's like to ponder the possiblity of a spouse cheating. I can only imagine what it must feel like for it to be a strong possiblity.
Try to remain calm ... if that's possible.
My only good advice is to continue to seek the advice on GQII. They'll have the best advice ... of course I think you already know that.
Any ideas on who this OM may be? I think you need to snoop to find that out so you can bust the both of them. Is there anyone you can trust to watch your home or your W while you're out of town?
Last edited by MrAlias; 10/11/07 06:31 AM.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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Lt:
Stay calm. From what you have told us about your wife it doesn't sound like she is having a PA, IMO.
It sounds like you are making some good progress. Focus on the positive until you have proof of anything else!
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Joined: Sep 2007
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LTK,
Im so happy that you made some progress with your wife. I really do hope that the test comes back negative. I wouldnt wish a positive result on anyone.
Just remember, keep your options open. I believe you should strive on doing plan A together. Did she fill out the EM questionnaire out yet?
I hope things go well for you. If your needs are not being met, and you go back to the way your relationship was, I would still do plan B if necessary.
Keep me posted. I really enjoy your posts.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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LT,
I'm glad you had a good experience last night. She seems to be saying the right things ... I don't know if that means she's sincere. I've heard terrible things about the A fog. I'll assume she is sincere.
So, that leads me to ask you some tough questions.
How much of this suspicious behavior of your W's is merely your insecurity and paranoia surfacing?
And if this is merely more about your insecurity or paranoia ... how much of that plays into the way you behave around your spouse? I can think of a ton of bad behaviors that would be exhibited by an insecure person.
I'm not accusing you but merely asking that you maintain a decent amount of introspection so as not to drive yourself (and possibly your W) batty.
Last edited by MrAlias; 10/11/07 11:36 AM.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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LTK,
I have been following your story and noticed you haven't been on in a few days. How are you doing?
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
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Post deleted by LTKramer
Last edited by LTKramer; 10/16/07 04:28 PM.
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"Why did you call them?" "I wish you would tell me about these things before you do them". These are the statements of a WW. I got the exact same questions/statements after I exposed A to OMGF. WW wants to have control over the situation and when she loses that control she will try and make you feel bad so you won't do it again. Forget that. Also, don't tell her you contacted OM. It's not necessary nor helpful. Especially do not tell her BEFORE as she has requested. The reason they want to know beforehand is so they can pre-emptively negate the effects of what you're going to do.
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What happened with the home test kit?
At the very least your wife is unhappy in the marriage. She could also be having or heading to an emotional affair. The thing that struck me was the drinking/smoking comment. Does she drink alot? Do you make comments about it? If he is a drinker to they could become drinking buddies and who knows where that can lead.
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
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Posts: 177
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I have at time said something about her drinking, she gets defensive. The suspect OM quit drinking a couple of years ago. She drinks on a very disciplined schedule. Mostly every-other day. She is what I would consider to be a "binge" drinker".
The kit is still on its way. Today or tomorrow will be the day.
Had a lengthy conversation with my sister in law day before yesterday and last om. I was shocked, because when I explained my story she said "What you have just told me is the same thing that I did to your brother"! They survived through it. But coming from an unbiased source, hearing this for the first time!! I mean come on!!!!
She also is convienvced that my W has a cell phone somewhere but I can't find it!!..
Thanks for the post. What exactly did your SIL do? It sounds like to me your wife may have a drinking problem and doesn't like you calling her on it. Here is a link that may help: www.nh-dwi.com/caip-222.htmYour marital problems may not be another man but with a bottle.
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 177
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Joined: Sep 2007
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LT,
I know you have posted here before. I am sure I had read it but could you send me the link so I can re-read it?
IMO your wife is self medicating to numb her pain. When did she start telling you she was unhappy? When did the drinking start? The drinking every other day may be because she drinks, has a hangover the next day so she doesn't drink. Feels better the next day and starts all over again.
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
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