I emailed you back.

You know, Plan B was mentioned here and may be a last ditch effort for your marriage. You said you Plan B'd, but I don't think you did. Plan B is when you "go COMPLETELY dark". There is NO contact between you and her at all.

You would write a Plan B letter explaining your boundaries for Plan B (of course, you won't call it Plan B in the letter), and tell her that you are trying to preserve the last little bit of love you have left by doing this. I would recommend taking a look at some sample Plan B letters here before actually writing one. I would also suggest posting yours here before giving it to her. That is, if you decide to Plan B.

Then you go dark. NO contact at all. By having no interaction at all, you don't get the messes like I had this weekend with the kitchen remodeling. Every time I have these "moments" with WS, I feel less connected, less interested, and less desiring of reconciliation.

Does that make sense? Is Plan B a possibility for you? Or are you at a place of peace with the dissolution?

DNO,

If you want to still save your M, look at other exposure targets. Work, friends, church, etc.

Then plan out exposure to happen all at once, for greatest impact. DO NOT tell her you are going to contact any of these people. She will get to them first and give her WS twist to it, just like she did with her parents.

Have Plan B letter ready to give (after posting here for feedback), then deliver it, then expose, then you go completely dark.

From the conversations you and I have had at DC group, I think this might rock her world. She will be furious at exposure. They always are. But that brings the A out in the open for the ugliness that it is.

Tell those that you expose to that you are still hopeful for reconciliation and ask for their support.

Of course, only do all this if you still want to save your M.