That's not exposing; you didn't expose to anyone who matters to him or her such as their family member.

Tell his parents what he is doing; tell his best friends, tell her employer, that's exposing!

It was in front of three other football moms...I think she really does care. My husband just packed his bag and left. He was slamming and packing, and hitting doors etc... The way that he looked at me was like I was his worst enemy on the earth. He told me that I ruined everything...his best friend does know...now he knows I know...His best friend told him if he had to choose between the two of us...he chooses me. That was as soon as he found out...I have known him 20 years...since I was 18, but he lives about 2 hours away. I did tell him that I was doing this to protect my family. I am very scared...but in shock!

How about sitting down and CALMLY making up an exposure list and calling them tomorrow? Start with the OW's H, her parents, your H's parents, siblings, close friends, email the other parents on the sports team, and anyone else you can think of.

Did you personally speak to your H's best friend and tell him about the affair? How do you know what his bf told him?

p.s. I would set your children down FIRST and tell them about the affair and that the OW is an unfit adult and they will not be associating with her again.

p.p.s. don't let his reaction scare you! He is trying to scare you into silence so you won't interfere in his affair. Don't let him succeed! This is a good first step!

My gosh...it does't feel like a good first step...right this minute, but you are right I will but together a list tonight. He already has called saying he talked to her and couldn't beleive I said what I said in front of those women! That I have certainly not earned any respect from him or anyone else, and that he would never be coming back home.

My husbands best friend found out when she came to the other state to see him when he was there, I think it took him off guard and he wasn't comfortable with it. Neither was his BF...they went to talk until 3 in the morning, and my husband told me that he couldn't talk to his BF even, cause he hadn't talked to him since. I did call his BF the other day and tell him my WH needed a friend right now, and he should call him. He did, but they said they would get together next weekend, or the week after.

Good job! You have stood up for your family against adultery. You will always feel good about it after the shock wears off. Your hubby is WRONG. The other women WILL respect you for confronting the OW.

Is your husband every violent against you? Hitting doors is a classic threatening sign.

not against me...just against things. That's always been.

Well, that is good to hear. Your hubby is behaving just like they all do. They get FURIOUS and go on and on about that is IT, they will never trust you again, you're nuts, and on and on. But they all get over being angry.

What your marriage can't take is having another woman in the picture.

Gosh, I bet tongues are wagging around the football set in your town. Believe me, the other women are going to respect and admire you. That took some guts, especially telling her to stop screwing your husband.

Like Mel says, you might as well make out an exposure list now, and get on with exposure while he is already angry. No sense having him calm down and having to do it all over again.

You did just fine, and I'm sure it doesn't feel like it. I know I HATE fighting and drama. But in the long run, you have given your family the best chance to stay together, and your sons the best shot at a happy life. Try to relax and have confidence in the MB way. I realize it is counterintuitive, but it has worked for thousands of couples.

sink, don't stop now. You have only hit the affair monster with a pea shooter. Just enough to make it mad but not enough to stop it. Be calm and FIRM and make your exposure calls today. Sit your sons down and tell them first.

I will ask AGAIN, did you discuss the affair with his BEST FRIEND?

When you make your exposure calls, it should go like this: tell them about the affair and ask for their help in saving your marriage. Ask for suggestions. If they offer to call him and speak to him, then encourage them to do this.

Do you go to church? If so, your pastor should get a phone call so he can speak to your H.

okay sink, I'm back, good for you on that first hit.

You did much much more than I ever did. Wish I'd had the guts to confront the OW in front of work colleagues, in front of anybody. You've got guts!

I couldn't emotionally handle posting to a woman who was heading down the path I took. It is too painful. Keep at it. You are doing the right thing.

First, how dare he said what he said. Does he earn YOUR respect when he sleep with another woman?

Second, the reson other posters asking if he has hit you before is because you act like a doormat. You let him blame it on you when he was the one who was cheating; you let him get mad at you when he was the one who's cheating, when it should be the OTHER way around.

Third, start calling that list NOW. He said he will never return back, can it get worse? Would you rather your and his relative hear from those other 3 women or from you?

He was never done with her because he was going to see her at this event and he cares about her and her feelings. It won't end for a while, unless you expose.

I can't help but ask....he is mad at you and expressed his anger. What about you, did you EVER express your anger toward him, calling him names, cursing at him? If the answer is "no," why? Why are you staying a victim?

sink,

my ex went absolutely CRAZY when I started exposing. He was livid, tried to make ME sound like the crazy one. told me to stay away from his friends and family, etc.. I said "well, gee, I don't know why you are so mad. If you are so proud of what you are doing, why not tell the whole world?" Oh, he was mad. So, don't worry about that. Like everyone has said, the cat is now out of the bag and everyone knows and will know what a loser he has been being.

My husband and I did not make it, but NOT because of the exposure. We were long done and it was far too late for us.

But I agree with everyone here, you have got to expose the heck out of this. Do not be afraid, HE IS THE ONE IN THE WRONG HERE NOT YOU. And keep your kids away from her too.

stay strong, it gets harder before it gets easier. but you cannot ignore this situation. it is NOT better to have him living at home and having affairs than to expose and he leaves. if he leaves, so be it. you can't live like that. think of what it is teaching your children.

mlhb

Hello Best,

I guess English isn't your mother tongue. sink didn't say he hit her. And nobody asked whether he had hit her "before".

Please keep encouraging sink. She needs all the encouragement we can provide.

I am thinking she will succeed with Plan A and Exposure, aren't you?

Next time, you make a comment about my post, I suggest you to read it first. Yes, someone did ask if she was physically abused. I never said that she was hit by her husband; I was merely referring to why this question was asked by other posters.

Here is the post and it's posted by believer:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...art=10&vc=1

Yes, Bellevue, you should be embarrased and I deserve an appology for your ignorant and reckless comments. And, in addition, you should work on your quote skills; it's all messed up on your post above.

Good for you Sink! I agree... keep on with the exposure. Your husband's anger shows that it's working. You have shined a LIGHT on their affair and now everyone's going to be looking. Please keep us posted on how it goes.