Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 96 of 98 1 2 94 95 96 97 98
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Originally Posted by Pepperband
The controlled dose of methadone is the point.
It's safer for the baby.
She cannot overdose.
She won't go through withdrawal.
She cannot use dirty needles.

Their goal, at this time, is not to get her off drugs.
Their goal is 100% for the safety of her unborn.

Your daughter is not their priority.
Her drug recovery is secondary to the well being of her baby.


You are right on that, but because Methadone is her drug of choice they know that she will abuse it should she ever get the chance. That is why CPS will take the new baby at the hospital - it will test positive (probably). Fortunately, she doesn't use anything that requires a needle. I suspect that is about the only thing she hasn't tried. But pills? You name it, she's popped it.


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996

Quote
You are right on that, but because Methadone is her drug of choice they know that she will abuse it should she ever get the chance. That is why CPS will take the new baby at the hospital - it will test positive (probably). Fortunately, she doesn't use anything that requires a needle. I suspect that is about the only thing she hasn't tried. But pills? You name it, she's popped it.

Can they convince her to get her tubes tied after delivery?
How about * Implanon* insert?

Is she allowed visitors?
Maybe you could talk her into birth control. Permanent birth control.



FYI ... H & I adopted two kids from "the system". Drug addict mom.


Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Originally Posted by Pepperband
Can they convince her to get her tubes tied after delivery?
How about * Implanon* insert?

Is she allowed visitors?
Maybe you could talk her into birth control. Permanent birth control.



FYI ... H & I adopted two kids from "the system". Drug addict mom.

Well, I have tried but I believe this is her way of trying to hold on to the BF. She was prescribed birth control pills after chaibaby, but she didn't take them.

I have also talked with her about adoption, but she won't even consider it. I am a terrible grandmother for even bringing it up. Go figure.

I keep trying, but so far I am not getting anywhere.





BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Addicts never take birth control pills.
It does not get them high.

Which is why the implant is so effective.

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Wassup woman?

Not answering my emails or posting on here.

You ok? Traveling around the world? Coming out to the PNW anytime soon?

I miss you....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Queenie!!!!

Doing good. I actually did send you an email on Friday but it was returned undeliverable. I sent it to your work email. I will try again today.

Would love to talk. I have a job opportunity with a company based in Seattle, so there is a chance that I may get out there if this works out. I'll email and tell you about it....


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
Hi Chai!!!

Quote
I have a job opportunity with a company based in Seattle, so there is a chance that I may get out there if this works out.

This is sooo very cool. Please let us know. We'd love to show you the town...



johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 19
R
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
R
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 19
How are you?

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
HOw is the housing market in Ohio? f you get your new position, how easily could you move?


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Hey Rainbow. thanks for checking in.

I am glad to report that I am actually doing quite well. A few minor issues, but well over all.

Let's see if I can give an update from where I left off....

I have accepted the job, however I won't be making a trip to Seattle this month. Sorry Queenie and JT. They said that since I was so new, it probably was best to wait until next time. I will get there at some point.

Anyway, glad to have a job. It will be as an account rep in this territory, but because my time will be pretty flexible I am going to try to hold onto the store. I've been working with a friend to set up a website, so hopefully that will bring in a little extra money too since I probably won't bring in much of a paycheck until I build up my territory with sales.

Still working on my other New Year resolutions. Two medical tests down, and two to go. My exercise plans have taken a little bit of a dive. The day before I was to start Zumba, I did something to my knee and it keeps giving me problems. Then I got sick two weeks ago and can't seem to shake it. I had 4 days straight with no voice. And to top all of that, I did something to my back while picking up Chaibaby this weekend and I am in some serious pain. OMG I'm turning into my mother. Between the knee and the back, I can't even bend over to pick toys up off the floor. See, I shouldn't have made the comment about XWH having health problems. No sooner had I made the comment, then POWIE, I got struck. That'll teach me....

Chaibaby is doing very well. He is walking now and it's so cute. He is small for his age and it's so funny to see him walking around. He walks around and around the dining room table all weekend. Of course he is getting into everything now too.

DD? Still in rehab on Methadone. She said that she may let this baby go to adoption. I hate the thought, but I know that it is the best thing for the child. The father (also Chaibaby's dad) is in jail now, so there is really not much of a future with two parents for either child the way things are. The other Gma took chaibaby to jail to see his dad (not sure how I felt about that) and he cried to get to his dad through the glass. He had really bonded with his dad before the relapse. The judge said that the dad could have one more try in rehab since he seemed to do well last time, and his former rehab said that they would take him back within the next few weeks. Who knows. It could go either way.

XWH? No one has heard from him. DD said that she hasn't taked with him since the holidays. I've finally reached a point where I don't care one way or the other.

Now that I am beyond the whole thing I can look back and see just how much of a scumbag he was. I am at peace these days and have found a new happiness that I didn't think possible. Most days I don't even think about it anymore, or if I do, it's a passing thought. Wow, I didn't think I would ever make it to this point, but I did. Thanks to Believer, Chris, SD, SL, Luna and all of the others who encouraged me to follow the "Life after D" yellow brick road.

Signing off for now......






Last edited by ChaiLover; 03/16/10 12:58 PM. Reason: I missed Bugs!!! Bugs thanks to you too!!!

BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Originally Posted by barbiecat
HOw is the housing market in Ohio? f you get your new position, how easily could you move?

Hey Barbie,

I don't have to move. It is an account rep position and this is my territory. But, the housing market still sticks here.

Hope you are doing well.....


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,549
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,549
Thanks for the update, Chai. I think about you, your struggling DD, the cutie Chai baby, and the little one in mama's tummy all the time. Funny, I don't think about your WxH at all....


Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Originally Posted by imanotherone
Thanks for the update, Chai. I think about you, your struggling DD, the cutie Chai baby, and the little one in mama's tummy all the time. Funny, I don't think about your WxH at all....

thanks IMA. Funny, I don't think about him much anymore either!!!!

THIS IS A GOOD THING


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
So happy to hear of the job. Good for you. You are one smart woman, and I knew it was just a matter of time before you found the right fit. I bet you'll be on top of the corporate ladder in no time at all. CONGRATULATIONS!

And sorry to hear of your health issues. I've got some issues lately, too. All this stress is not good for us.

ChaiBaby -- isn't in wonderful to be around the little guy when his world is still so special? Pure love, belly laughs, simple entertainment. I would love to go back in time when my kids were babies again and our family was intact. I miss then.

Give me a call some time and we'll catch up.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
Congrats!

Looking forward to seeing you out here in the PNW sometime in the future. We will most certainly have to show you the "town". smile


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Chai,

FABULOUS news on the new job! Congrats! And the bonus of a work related trip from time to time to the PNW?! SWEEET!



BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Do you plan to hire a manager for the shop?


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Congratulations on the new job, CL.

Glad to see that you are 'moving on' (that is, thinking and caring less and less about WS!)....and putting your energy where it counts...taking care of CL (by considering investing only in 'healthy' relationships...which respect your values and needs!)

...one step at a time, CL....one step at a time...


hugCL hug


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Thanks guys. There IS life after D.

Karma, yes I am going to have someone work the shop for me. My goal is to hang on until my lease is up - 1 year. I will probably close then. I think I am just plain burned out.

DD called today to tell me XWH finally contacted her. He is in town. Surprise. We thought he moved to Miss Mullet's state never to return.

Ugh, I'd really rather not hear anything about him at this point. Ruined my day.


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Just want to add:

Any day without a wayward in it is a good day!


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Page 96 of 98 1 2 94 95 96 97 98

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 284 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5