Chai:

Sounds like we are on similar timelines...DDay late last year...false recovery for 4-5 mos early this year...but your WH was definitely still in an A, I'm not so sure about my W. No matter what it was, I'm just sick of all the changes associated with getting a divorce. I'm trying to do what's best for me and the kids and move forward, but the holidays bring back some of the other stuff from the past.

I posted some pics of my English Mastiff from this past summer, most taken on Father's Day except for the one when I first got her when she was a puppy. Since Father's Day she has grown some more, and probably put on another 20-30 lbs. She's a great dog, but she does take up a lot of room on the bed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

LoBoy's Mastiff

I don't really have any advice for you, especially since my sitch wasn't able to be saved, but I will think about it, and try to keep up with your thread.

Thanks,

LoBoy

Chai,

Thanks. I still feel like crap today, but maybe a mite better. Sometimes it's hard to tell cause I usually feel better in the morning and then get progressively worse thru the day.

OF course FWH is now "feeling poorly" with NO SYMPTOMS. Not to man bash here, sincere apologies guys, but what is it with men? I am never allowed to be sick alone.

I don't think that I will post again until after the NEW YEAR once I leave work today. So, HAPPY NEW YEAR and we will all pray for a better 2008 for everyone here on MB, recovered and not recovered.

Who

So funny Who. Sorry guys, but the power of suggestion does take over, and then they get so doggone whiney! With my WH no one ever got as sick as he did or had it as bad as he did. Sheesh...

Hey Who. My friends invited me down there for New Year's Eve, so I'm comin' to DC!!! We've been friends for over 30 years. We all met in Europe way back when the guys were in the Air Force. WH of course on their $hit list now. Oh well, his loss.

LoBoy,

Yes, looks like our timelines are the same. You have younger kids, which even makes D harder. Of course, mine is 25 but she is still taking it very hard. In my case though, it was easy for WH to walk away. He just came and got his stuff and left. No real consequences. He let me take basically what I wanted from the house, no little kids to worry about, no financial issues (I make more than he does and there is no child support). Funny, he didn't want to be M but now won't sign the LSA. Go figure.

I love your dog!!! I especially love the puppy picture. What is that, say, a 90 lb Puppy?? Too cute.
I'll try to get a pic of my little "terror" one of these days.

Chai,



Wow ... that is cool. How long will you be in town for? FWH and I are heading down to Atlanta tonight to look at a house and probably won't be back here until New Years Day or New Years Eve maybe.

If you are in town long enough and want to meet for a cup of coffee, let me know. If not, maybe some other time.

In any case have a Happy New Year and enjoy the visit.

Who

Who,

Would love to meet you for coffee. I ran into a couple of snags. I had an unused ticket which I thought that I could use and still have money left. Wrong. Because it was an Int'l ticket, they want to charge me an extra $200. That makes a trip to DC cost over $1200. I'm considering driving, but it's 10 hours so I'm not sure I want to do that. Then, I've had trouble finding a kennel with room for the dog.If I can't get her taken care of, I can't come. I suppose I could drive AND bring the dog, but this is supposed to be a mini-vacation not a torture trip.

If I can make it, I'll email you at your yahoo address. I'll be in Arlington, so not sure how far that is from where you are.

Could not get in touch with my atty this week regarding my LSA. It scares me that WH may be out there running up debt with OP.

My brother says "What if he dies or something? You will be responsible for all of his debt." Yikes. I guess that is the case. Works both ways though. I'm probably not the beneficiary on the life insurance anymore either. Can they put their AP's on as beneficiary? Scary thought, huh?

Well, one more holiday to get through then it's over for a while. Next hurdle is the anniversary in Spring.

Hopefully he isn't running up a lot of debt. The reason I finally filed for divorce was to protect myself. My ex was NEVER good with money, and with the affair he went crazy.

Hang in there.

Believer,

I remember your story about your XH spending much of your life savings. Is there any advantage of D over LSA? Were you the one that filed? Was it because of the financial sitch or were you just done at that point??

Yes, I filed. I waited 3 years. When I went to do a LSA, he refused to agree on anything. So I ended up divorcing him.

That is something I have to give great consideration to...all that racking up debt. My WH water utility bill is past due for crying out loud!

I guess this is common for WSes...after 3 years were you emotional doing it...or basically at that point you didn't care anymore?

I am in the same sitch with my WH. Like you believer, I'll probably have to file the divorce to completely get financially untangled from WH (it's just the house we have to get square on--no issues with the debt he had or is running up with OW).

Can someone PLEASE tell me why waywards won't sign SAs? It is maddening!! LOL

Smartie

HTH

Already on it. OW's H already filed againt my WH--he got served Nov/Dec. I'm filing against OW in Jan.

According to WH's attorney, the case OW's H has against my WH is VERY GOOD, and ditto for my case against OW.

Thanks for the heads up though.

Smartie

Actually, Smartie, I think that deep down they realize they are making a HUGE mistake. As the affair continued, I told WH that I was letting him go, and offered to settle everything amicably. He agreed and wrote up the sep agreement. I paid an attorney to do it, and then WH refused to sign the same agreement that he wrote.

A year later, he wanted to go to mediation. I paid for that, and he didn't show up.

So I filed for divorce.

Smartie, Believer:

It's funny you two talk about this, because when I first came to MB I asked the question "Why don't they just leave us?" and someone responded to me "Just in case."

So I think you are absolutely right in that deep down they know that they might be making a mistake. If they were absolutely sure about the "love of their life" they would have no hesitation. They would want to get it over with so they could live happily ever after as soon as possible.

You all are so strong. There NO WAY I would encourage him to get a D. I would be so afraid he would actually do it.

skinsgal - I wasn't strong at all, I was just recovered enough to know that I would be fine, with or without him. You will get there too.

Well I'll just say this--

I'd actually have MORE respect for my WH if he were to go ahead and sign the SA. It would signal to me that even if he thought somewhere that he'd made a mistake by running off with OW, he was man enough to take his medicine and step up to the plate to do what was necessary to end the M in an adult fashion. (And I know, we are dealing with the fogged aliens, but still...) As strange as it sounds, if he signed the SA it might actually make me more wiling to at least be friends with him once he came out of the fog and ended it with OW.

So the fact that he sees not signing the SA as some twisted way to keep me around "just in case" it doesn't work out with OW REALLY pisses me off. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I'm not interested in being anyone's "just in case".

Ok vent over for today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Smartie

Chai,

Just popping in to see your story, have only read the last couple of pages so far but just wanted to say that I think you are doing amazingly well.

Tarnsy

Smartie,

I agree with you. I don't want to be second choice or the "just in case" either. My WH was doing anything to keep both of us. I really think that in the back of their minds they want us there when it crumbles, which they have to know it will. Like I said, if they were really all that sure they would be the ones aggressively going after the D.

Well, I never worried about second choice, because I decided that if my WH came back, he better treat me like a queen for the rest of our lives. But, then, I'm divorced.