My wife has admitted to the a. She has also told her sister and best friend. We have been married for over 15 years with 2 kids. Stay at home mom. She has been having the affair with a chiropractor that has been treating her for over 10 years. He continues to charge her. I asked her why we never got a discount! She says it is over and is going to send a nc letter. I want to send my own letter requesting no contact and also a full refund of all our monies paid for treatment thru the years with a clause that unless he meets my request, I will turn him in to his medical board. It is illegal and against the chiro code to have a sexual relationship with a current patient. She does not want me to send my letter. I am afraid if she just sends her letter, she will call him and tell him to ignore it. Anyone????

First, her NC letter needs to be approved by you and sent by you.

Second, any contact you make with OM should not be shared with WW. But I don't think you should threaten OM with action, I think you should just take action. If someone is doing something illegal, they need to be held accountable. Who knows how many other female patients he is sleeping with?

I agree. DO NOT PROTECT THIS PREDATORY POS FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS!!

You should be writing your letter of complaint to the board right NOW.

I third that.... disgusting. Don't warn him. Have his license revoked and his practice ruined. Who knows who else he's done what to, and if they even wanted it done....

I'm confused. On the D board on the post on the 20th, you said your wife was done with the marriage. So does she want to work on the marriage now? Or is she still talking divorce?

At any rate, I would expose to his wife, and expose to the board. Do you have calls, letters, or other proof? Otherwise it will turn into a he said/she said situation.

It's strange - a good family friend had an affair with her chiropractor, and it was a long-term one, including a child. I think it is an abuse of the trust a patient puts in her care provider. It probably started out innocently. He may be a sexual predator. I wonder if there are other charges against him.

Oh, and I would DEFINITELY ask for my money back.

She did say she was done with the marriage. But now she has confessed to the a, sent me an email by accident (intended for her girlfriend) that talks about the a, and is walking around on eggshells afraid that I will send my letter with demands to the chiro. Without snooping and probing (thanks to this site), I would have given up a month ago, and would probably be living elsewhere. We still may divorce, but I am not going down without a fight as I feel she was "abducted" by the Chiro several years back in an illegal and immoral fashion. Does anyone have a sample no contact letter link that I can print out to give to her for a template? She is willing to send a letter stating it is over and also that she is willing to work on the marriage.

I would be very suspicious about the "accidental" email.
She may be trying to protect the chiropractor.

Are you going to notify his wife about the affair?

Here's the NC letter from SAA:

OP, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my BS and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk with you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I have caused him/her, I will do my best to become the spouse he/she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship. Sincerely, WS.

The NC letter should not contain things like 'I will always remember you' or anything that could leave the door open in either person's mind.

Can I suggest that you forget the NC letter for the moment.

Get this ****** feeling some heat from the Chiro Board.

Then after a week, tell OM's Wife what is happening and get your wife to do a NC letter.

Is your wife indicating she wants to commit to your marriage yet?

See this is medical malpractice and you don't want him tipped off until he's felt that particular tsunami hit him.

Just my 2c

Ludlow hasn't answered anything about whether he has solid proof. I would think that his course of action would depend on that.

His wife did a very quick turn around, and may be protecting her affair partner.

She has admitted the a to me in person and in writing. she has admitted that her best friend knew all along. She said she just recently told her sister. I have 2 emails she sent me by accident that implicate her in an a. Do I send her letter today and follow up with mine next week or do I send hers and snoop and wait for more info? She has done a 180 in now willing to send the letter and work on our marriage. I know she is doing it based on the new information I have.I have asked her if she wants the kids to find out, and she says she does not want them to know. I am inclined to send her letter today and then send mine next week. I want this guy out of the picture-and part of me really wants our fees that we paid him back. Another part wants him out of business and out of our town. I'm not sure if that scorched earth tactic would help salvage my marriage-my ultimate goal...

All I can say is that I would LOVE to have the opportunity to ruin the OM that you have right now. Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to blow up his whole world.

Conventional wisdom here is to forget about the OP once the A has been stopped and NC instituted, but I'm just not that nice of a guy. I would love to have the opportunity for some "SATISFACTION", and in your case, ruining his career would be a great STARTING place.

right now, my wife says she no longer loves me. that it just isnt there and hasnt been for years. she says that the switch was turned off long ago. In my mind, the switch turned off years ago once the Chiro started rubbing her back and telling her how beautiful she was and blah, blah, blah. she of course, denies that. I want to make sure the relationship between her and the op is over for good. Last week she said she loved him. I havent asked this week... Do I send both letters days apart, or just hers. I am inclined to hang on to my letter to the chiro board as my ace in the hole...

The fact that he continued to charge your wife (AND YOU) for his SERVICES is unethical to the extreme. Notify your state medical and/or chiropractic board of this repugnant and unprofessional behavior. DEMAND your money back in writing and send a copy of your demand with your complaint to the board.

Your wife may be sorry about her affair but there are consequences regardless even if there is forgiveness.

What that chiro did was unethical and ILLEGAL. He should have his licence revoked. Who knows how many women he has done this to???

He is a PIG! I would not hesitate to take action to have his licence revoked. He is dangerous.

If he had been "serious" about the A and in love with your wife, he would've done the best thing under the circumstances and told her he couldn't treat her anymore, but send her to a colleague of his...

OMG this story brings chills up my spine.

I forwared her a copy of the nc letter that one of you posted earlier and she just replied " I have allready written one if you would like to see it". Do I let her dictate the contents, or do I insist/suggest she use my format? If she refuses, then what?

Here is the letter she wants to send. I dont think it cuts the mustard, anyone?

I am writing to let you know that I want to stop all contact between us. I won't see, call or text you and I ask that you do the same. I also will not be seeing you professionally. I feel this is necessary to work on rebuilding my marriage and a healthy family life.

Seems short and to the point (which is good, I think). Why don't you think it cuts the mustard?

I'm only now just catching up....

but I wanted to warn you.

Don't write a letter to OM threatening him to stop seeing your wife or you'll expose him to the board as he's likely to deny it and try to take the offensive position and sue you for extortion or blackmail.

Plus...he'll just try to paint you as a crazy jealous husband and use your letter to prove it.

Just expose him. His professional licensure board likely has internal controls and MAY make him refund all or part of the monies paid too. Double bonus.

Don't alert your wife either. When she discovers it you can just put that No Contact letter of hers right back at her since she had to have broke no contact to know about you exposing Chiroboy.

Mr. Wondering