Mom---PM me if you would like....I hope you have a good lawyer.....

In 2000, we bought property in Arksansas from a woman who was awarded the property in her divorce from her first husband. The property was in her name only.

However, her NEW husband had to sign off on the property at the closing. Something about inheritance laws, I believe. Be sure and ask your attorney about this.

Mom, I'm so sorry things are going so badly for you. When spouses behave like yours, it is so much harder to reconcile.

I'm glad you are seeing an attorney Monday. I don't think the way the house is titled is going to make much difference - at least it wouldn't in California. My home was only in my husband's name and I ended up with it.

Keep trying to figure out if there is another woman. I think there is and that will be important to know.

Mom,

I'm so sorry for you. Your WH is an a$$ and one of the worst that I've seen in my few short months here.

Protect yourself at all costs. I just had my house for sale and had a hard time selling because of "clutter." WH has a bunch of junk in basement and garage. So create some "clutter" because buyers have a hard time seeing past that stuff. They don't like dirty homes either. A few casseroles bubbling over in the oven, a few things spilled in the fridge, if you have sons who miss the commode, wet wash cloths do wonders for creating mold in the tub and shower. And the best is some ugly paint colors. Fix it up as your husband asks by painting several rooms with dark colors. All of the designers are using dark this season, so I see no reason why you shouldn't use some dark green, or dark orange, mustard, whatever. Oh, and ugly wallpaper is one that they also hate. They know that it will have to be removed when they move in. Who likes removing wallpaper anyway?

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers....

Well I see my Attorney today. I have wrote down a whole list of things to ask. I tried to speak with my WH last in regard to the kids but all he wanted to talk about was him getting joint custody. He says all I will care about is the money he wants the kids. He stated he has character witnesses that he has taken them to the Doctor, has taken them shopping and spends just as much time with them as me.
I well well of course you have done all those things your their Father. He told me he hopes my pockets are deep because his are and that he has the best Attorney in town...also his Attorney "know judges". He's in such fantasyland right now...its almost comical.

Now heres the truth I have been a stay at home mom up until 2 yrs ago... I'm the one who rearanges her schedule to be home by the time my kids are home from school. My WH travels 2-4 months a year...there have been years where it was up to 5 months...I have raised these kids he is crazy if he thinks I will ever agree to joint custody.

He told me he knows police officers in our town and they told his stuff was outside before I ever called him...he said they drove by the house several times to check on his stuff. He had borrowed a neighbor saw. He told me the neighbor wanted the saw back becasue he was scared I was going to run off and sell it. I walked over to the neighbors house last night and asked him to come get his saw, I told him I wouldnt have done anything with it...he said I know you wouldnt have then I told him what my WH had told me...the neighbor said he never said anything like that he was not worried about the saw at all....I dont know I think my WH has totally lost his mind.

Everything that is coming out of his mouth right now is nothing but lies. He has an Attorney....I think he may have talked to someone just but as far as an Attorney yet ...if thats the case why havent I been served yet? He's been planning this.. He is just trying to scare me into doing what he wants...he is the one who is scared about child support, he doesnt want to have to pay it. He left us with practically nothing and he's still painting me as the bad guy....he's sick..

He's a BULLY. Someone who had so much clout with the legal/law enforcement community wouldn't need to brag about it. I'm glad you see it for what it is and I'm glad you're seeing an attorney today. No need to even respond to your WH's stupidity. Let your attorney handle it.

Be sure to write down your questions for the attorney. Remember to ask whether adultery makes any difference in your state, just in case. Ask if it is possible to keep the family home until the children are grown. Inquire about keeping health insurance, getting half of his pension, temporary alimony, and how soon you can get child support.

Remember that affairs almost always end, if that is what is causing your husband to be so crazy. I think it is. But you are doing good by protecting your family financially.

I have wrote everything down for my Attorney. At this point on I will have no contact with WH. I am finished with his mind games I have to protect myself emotionally also all that happen when we talk is I become a basket case for hours after. I believe in the MB principles but there is no Plan A here Im stragiht into plan B. He can contact the kids through their cell phones. Apparently he is living with his friend who lives with his parents so before my WH is going to get any overnight visits with the kids he will set up a residence somewhere...he isnt taking my kids around Lord knows who........

You need to calm down and get a plan. If you want to divorce him, you have every right to do that. No one here will fault you. But you are very early in this, and still don't even know what the threat to your marriage is.

It is better for him to see the kids. They need their dad too. I understand that you would not want overnight visits when you have no idea what the conditions are. But please encourage your children to have a relationship with their dad.

Was your husband ever a good husband?

Yes I want the kids to see him anytime but until he has a residence no overnights. The relatioship with his children have nothing to do with what is going on with us. But he is not going to use my children to fight this all out.

Yes he was a good husband but now I think It was all for show........

Well I"m about to go speak to the Attorney... PLEASE keep me in your prayers and thoughts right now....I need all the prayers I can get right now....Thank You all so much....you have all been the voice of reason for me....because i feel like I am in [email]H@LL...I[/email] know the Lord is with me right now and thats is where my strength is coming from......will update later.

Mom,

The guy is a control freak and a bully!!

My husband is a perfectionist everything as to be a certain way. His house , his yard, his cars...everything has to be perfect.

our kids love to leave kitchen cabinet doors open....this drives my husband nuts I would get a 30 minute lecture on why the cabinet doors need to be closed.

Lets not even go into my teenagers bedroom......he wants it spotless everyday.... He hates all my friends...

And a blowhard and a LIAR!! You must Plan B until the D. I hope to God that he has a very rude awakening at the end of this. That Karma Bus has a way of coming back around.

Hope all goes well at the attorneys.

kirk

I'm anxious to hear what the lawyer says...

Everyone is right though. He is a BULLY. Ignore him totally. Just because he says it doesn't make it so.

Good luck with the attorney. I think you are taking the right course. No Plan A. No more contact with WH.


I'm a believer in the change of personality that can accompany a romantic affair, but I don't think it applies here. I agree with what FF said. It sounds like this guy is a serial cheater and that you are better off without him.

I'm very very sorry.

Yes, let us know what the attorney says.

Well everything went well with the Attorney...he will be served in a few days and we are filing for a temporary hearing on custody, me to be able to occupy the house and on immediate child support, possessions etc. The Attorney stated we should be able to get hearing within a week or two depending on the court docket.

So I feel somewhat relieved and not so scared. truly my Husband is a S.O.B. .. I always knew he was not what he appeared to be. I just turned a blind eye to it. Partly because of my family and partly because I didnt want to face it. Thats o.k. I have to own the decisions I have made and my reasons for making them. I dont have to cover for him anymore....I wont be here any longer for him to blame.
I havent really been living life just going through the motions...I am ready to live my life again. I will mourn the loss of the life I knew and the loss for my children but we will all be o.k....I have to have faith in that....

Good. At least that is a relief. With my kids' dad, I had a horrible time. The court went on for months and months and I didn't get a dime in child support. So I'm glad your state does a better job.

Have you spent a lot of energy covering for him?

Yes I have covered for him alot, overlooked the whole nine yards. He just called the kids and wanted to take them to Mc Donalds I said I didnt think that was a good idea...he told me he [email]F@cking[/email] hated me...I hung up on him.

I would have no problem with him seeing the kids but since he's threatening me for custody I fear he could take them and not bring them back...once he is served I wont have to worry about that. Since I hung up on him he's called twice and I havent answered. He just has to keep me a nervous wreck, and of course he told my daughter Im sorry Mommy wont let me see you...now she's mad at me....

Have you explained everything to your kids? How old are they again?