Buck - Your kind of jumping around from the "soul mates" idea to a cognitive model.
In short, a cognitive behavorial theroey suggests that our thoughts influence our feelings and behavior, our feelings influence our behavior and thoughts and our behaviors influence our feelings and thoughts. These modalities are therefore interrelated, and change in one modality will in all probability influence at least one of the others.
Thoughts, feelings and behaviors - all interrelated, all influencing other.
The "soul mates" model says these 3 things are not related and do not influence each other.
You can think of many more, but I can give an easy example of where the "soul mates" model doesn't hold water.
Think of a woman recieving a nice bouqet of roses. What does she think, feel and do, if they are from her husband? What does she think, feel and do if they are from her brother? What does she think, feel and do if they are from an anonymous admirer? What does she think, feel and do if they are from a female friend?
The event, the recieving of flowers, is in all cases the same. But the feelings, the thoughts, the behaviors will/can be radically different.
Do you see if you think someone is your "soul mate" and you behave in a manner that supports that, then your feelings will follow?
Look at your post. In your short story, look at how many thoughts and behaviors you controlled and directed towards OW.
The MB principles follow the cognitive model to a large extent. It emphasizes behaviors, and relies on those changes to influence your thoughts and feelings. But you are flip flopping on the behaviors. Work on M one day, checking up on OW the next. Won't work that way.
