This is tough. Got a call from the WW mom - tells me I keep shooting myself in the foot as WW was winding down her A and the drama of exposure is pushing her away.

Sticking to Plan A is a challenge as I am full of different emotions. It is hard to stay focused.

How long does the fog usually last?

Blah, blah blah. The WS-beast has likely manipulated your poor MIL to "stand up" for her. Sickening.

How did you respond?

Did you tell your MIL that the OMW had a right to know what her H was up to, just like you had right to know what your WW was up to, and seeing that your WW wasn't about to do it, you felt it your duty to do so? Did you tell her that you are doing what it takes to save your M, and that includes informing all parties concerned about the A to bring it to as quick a demise as possible?

Let's see, "winding down the affair"..........

Yeah, my ex did that. It took him 4 and a half years to wind it down. We're divorced.

Its too bad your MIL is a sucker for your WW's crap, but its not surprising. She fooled you too for a while right?

Don't take responsibility for speaking the truth about your WW's A. You don't have to justify or apologize for telling the truth to the OM's W. She SHOULD know the truth, its unfortunate that your WW and the OM made the truth so painful and ugly, and you wish they hadn't done that and at the very least they should STOP making the truth ugly and painful, but that is thier decision, right?

You do see that when you LB your wife it doesn't help you right? We all KNOW its hard, we know it sucks. There's not alot of fun in Plan A for the BS. You do it not because its enjoyable, but because it has a probability of achieving the results you want, an end to the A and a chance to work on your marriage. It is often in conflict with your instinctive reactions and that is why it is a Plan in the first place, it is a well considered series of actions designed to achieve a result. Stay disciplined, stay focused on the higher goal. Try to quit taking two steps back for every step forward. Take responsibility for what is your fault, don't take any for what isn't.

Good meeting with the counselor. She was not too thrilled with my exposure but I stated my case. "Did you think about the consequences of your actions before you did it?" Of course I did. "It was the fastest way to end the affair and give my marriage a chance." "Well, that's one way to do it." Counselor talked about betrayal and explained my obsessive behavior to WW. That part was easier to swallow.

WW said that the affair is over. I believe her because she was emotionally distraught. She definitely had strong feelings for him. I am not saying the A is over for good but it sounds like the OM dumped her. At least for now.

Meanwhile, we are still separated but I will see her tomorrow when she comes for the kids. Time for more Plan A.

It is very common for the OM especially to dump the OW after exposure. Often they are not really wanting to lose their marriage.

So now you can expect your wife to be in withdrawal. That will most likely last for at least a month. Continue Plan A, and expect NOTHING in return.

If they stay apart, I agree. I am not so sure it is over, however, as I have heard this tune before. The frequency of their meetings have certainly declined but only time will tell. She is certainly emotionally attached.

Keep watching what goes on. If you find more contact, then notify his wife again.

But FREQUENTLY when the wife finds out, the affair is done. Let's hope for the best.

Thanks, believer. I actually think it was on the outs before exposure but I am still glad I told the OMW. I just hope it stays on the outs. The OMW wants a divorce and I would hate the setback of them getting together.

Withdrawal in my situation lasted more like 3-4 months. Much of that depends on how long the affair lasted.

During this time, she'll waffle back and forth with her feelings for you vs the OM. It's a difficult time, because you are dealing with Jeckyll and Hyde.

Easy on relationship talks, unless she initiates. Plan A your A$$ off. No lovebusters. Try to spend as much time with her as possible, over coffee, dinner, lunch, whatever you are both comfortable with. Almost like beginning to court her, all over again.

Dress sharp, look fit and buff, perhaps a new cologne or after shave, and be upbeat and fun to be around. This is when you earn your Emmy for being a "great husband", when your are still reeling for shock and grief from the A.

Monitor as best you can for contact, and let OMW know if/when it happens. WW are notorious for wanting just one more meeting "for closure".

Hang in there, Sh0cked, you are doing great!

Wham: Game...Set...Match!

Well done. Now, stick to the Plan!

Their A lasted 2 months (if it really is over). Again, she has strong feelings for him but I hope (and pray) it is over for good.

I am already emotionally exhausted. It is hard to play it cool when reeking desperation. Somehow, I need to gather my strength and put my best foot forward.

Whatever happens, I am a better father. This has been tough on me; I lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks.

Boy, you got that right. It has only been a few days with NC (that is what she tells me and her mood fits) and she is COLD. I am still chopped liver but will continue with Plan A and try to be there to console her (if she lets me).

Acting deparate............the quickest way to shove her away. My EX didnt give two craps about me until I grew a set, and she thought I might have women that were attracted to me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

WW wife is really hurting from NC. She is pretty depressed. As hurt as I am about the A, I actually feel sorry for her. I guess that is what love is really about.

I hope you dont feel sorry for her not feeling good about NC with the OM!!! Please tell me you are joking. That isnt love my friend......trust me. I would give two [email]sh@ts[/email] if she was depressed about that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />