I am taking one of them with me

Unbelievably cruel.

The one you take will lose his or her mother, their home and homeland, and their sibling. They will witness their mother having love for a man who is NOT their father. The one you take will believe you don't love the other sibling, and they will go between relief that you didn't abandon him/her and guilt toward the sibling because they have Dad and the other one doesn't.

The one you leave will lose his or her father and their sibling. They will feel guilt also.

They will lose the one person they could cling to in this mess - their sibs.

Mom will be diverted by her love interest, the "lucky" child in her care will be second best to the boyfriend. Dad will be immersed in "healing" himself and reconnecting with a bunch of strangers to the child. Dad may even find a new girlfriend who will love and understand him and tolerate his child of a former marriage. Dad may even remarry and have babies with a new love. The lucky child he takes with him to Australia will slip down a notch on Dad's ladder as a cute helpless new infant demands his attention.

The children are learning that commitments and marriage are meaningless, that people are expendable, that children are divisible conveniences. You are sacrificing your children on the altar of your feelings.

You'll do what you want to. You are messing up your kids lives. Wish I could raise them.

Pottsy, Pottsy!!! Please don't do this to your kids!
Take them both or give them both up!
You know, there are dog rescue groups who have dogs that have been raised together and when those dogs go out for adoption, they are adopted together. Surely two parents can have as much compassion for their children as a group of dog rescuers have for their animals. Rethink, this, man, it's cruel.
(((((Pottsy's kids))))))
GF

Why would you do that to your kids, pottsy? That is not in their best interest. Why would you harm your kids like that?

Your children will probably grow up to hate you both for separating them. They may not show it now but I can almost guarantee they will when they reach adulthood and FULLY understand just what happened to them.

Sheesh Pottsy. STAND UP AS A FATHER and protect your children!

I am hearing you all but I see no other way out of this

Please tell us why you think there is no way out. Does your WS have some kind of hold over you? Legally? Morally? What gives? I don't understand. Maybe if you shared we could help you figure a way out.

I cannot and will not live in this country without any form of support network.
I need to be around the people that love me and I will not have that here because her family are torn between us they dont like what she has done.But blood is still thicker than water.

Yeah, what princessmeggy said.

Why do you see no other way out? Are you severely depressed, unable to function? Is her name alone on the mortgage or the lease?

Some people here are very smart. They will brainstorm a solution with you.

Isn't Denmark one of those socialist countries, where there is a lot of welfare and there are social programs to help families? If I'm wrong, sorry, but I know that in Norway the government takes care of just about everything for their citizens. (Are you a citizen in Denmark?)

Please, dig your feet in. Your wife's feelings will pass. People don't just give up on their marriages because their feelings change. Not good people.

I know I called you an idiot. That was my bad temper. I want to believe you are a decent person. That all you need is the right push to do the right thing.

Go and read up about Plan A, exposure of the affair, how it should be done. Do not tell your wife about MarriageBuilders, do not forewarn her if you decide to expose her affair to the workplace etc.

I will return later for an update.

edited to add: No support network? Again, What does Denmark offer?

People who love you? Your kids love you. They both need you.
Pray on it and think on it.

Yes I am serverly depressed but she says to me its over for her, she has already moved on.
Quote from W today was if you could of only let me get to know the OM a bit better with us having a 6 month separation in Denmark that she knew in herself I would of been the guy for her mind you she has been having EA and PA with this person.Could she be serious?

WS-Babble.

But, do you realise that you are making a "deal" with a babbling WS that's ultimately going to adversely affect the lives of your children?

What do your children need? Does that ever cross your mind? What about THEIR support network? You want to be with your parents and YOU ARE AN ADULT. They are LITTLE CHILDREN who need both parents.

You are not being a man, pottsy, you are being a selfish child who is putting his own self interests ahead of his own children.

agreed Mel...and IMHO, any parent that is willing to divide his children for his own benefit does not deserve to have children. Selfish, selfish "man."

WTF do I do you guys I am hearing you all do I stay here and be miserable I know in my heart it is not the right decision.If I stay here I am scared of what will happen to me

YOU DO NOT DIVIDE YOUR CHILDREN FOR ANY REASON. Is that simple enough.
If you cannot take them both with you, then you need to stay.
Honestly Pottsy, while I understand your pain, I cannot for the life of me understand how you are willing to rip your children apart because you are scared.
Reach down into your pants....now feel around...those are called nuts...use them and stop being so willing to cause your children irreparable harm.

Sorry for the WTF but Im so frustrated with whats happening to me.
All I have been is a devoted H to my WS and I feel as though I am getting crapped on.
The way I see things is if I stay here she wins she gets to keep or have access to both kids and keep her A going while I suffering.
Maybe it is selfish but what she is doing to me is in my opinion far more selfish and if I do take my son she might realise is this A all worth it.

Really, what's right for YOU is irrelevant if it isn't right for your children. BOTH of them. Fight for your marriage. While doing so, figure out the best way to care for your children (BOTH OF THEM).

Tell your wife you'd like to move back home with both children. If she's willing to part with one of them, it shouldn't be to hard to get her to part with both.

Do whatever you can to fix the marriage and/or gain custody of your children. Stop thinking that separating the children is an option. It isn't and shouldn't be and hanging onto that thought is preventing you from finding the real answer.

Are you kidding me? So you sacrifice your children's happiness, security and well being so YOU, an ADULT, won't be "miserable?"

Are you really a MAN? Because you sound like a selfish, self obsessed teenage girl to me. I realize you may be recovering from dope addiction and thusly, have never grown up, but trust me when I say that this is a horrible decision for YOUR CHILDREN and some day when you GROW UP you will DEEPLY REGRET DOING THIS TO YOUR KIDS.

A REAL MAN PROTECTS HIS CHILDREN, HE DOESN'T SACRIFICE THEIR WELL BEING AND THEIR HAPPINESS BECAUSE HE IS "MISERABLE." sheeesh

You don't have to stay with your wife if you stay in Denmark. You are a big boy and you can find a way to stay there and keep your kids together without depriving them of their mother.

Whoever told you that your pursuit of happiness entitled you to destroy others?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

pottsy, we have seen betrayed husbands turn over their money, the keys to expensive cars, expensive community property assets, to their cheating wives, so as to keep their children safe and with them. MB'ers have supported them, rallied around them, phoned them.

We have watched as men took back wives who got children fathered on them by affair partners and raise those babies as their own. Why, there's a woman here who just exposed her H's affair at work at is even now destroying his affair.

The exposure, Plan A, is step 1. Staying in the house and waving bye-bye to your wife as she leaves to indulge with her lover, so that you are caring for your children, is Plan A. You will never be so proud of yourself as when you fight for your children and your family.

You may even be able to force your cheating wife to pay you child support if she abandons the household.

You don't have much self-respect right now. Nor does your wife respect you. The weed has retarded a lot of your growth.

So many betrayed husbands have fought back and become really sexy to their cheating wives, the guys who used the MB methods. Poke, poke, prod. Kick, irritate, annoy. Have we gotten to you?

Nobody here will tell you to follow your feelings. Failure is that way.

I followed my feelings of fear and shame. I am divorced now. Our son was spared a lot of things that kids of divorce endure, but he told me a few days ago that he wishes things could go back the way they used to be in our family. I held out on divorce as long as I could stand. My H's still in his EA with his BestFriend.

You won't feel better if you let her have her way. You won't feel better if you expose and destroy the affair either, but you will earn self respect and your marriage has a better chance to restore.