i appreciate your input..... it makes a lot of sense to me. You are right i don't think the feelings he has for this other woman are real. He may think they are but i know deep down they aren't. To me real love is knowing that you would do anything and for that other person even die for them so that they could live. Well my husband told me that yesterday when we were talking. I know he may not feel those warm and fuzzies he did when we first started to date but that doesn't always happen for the entirety of a realationship. He doesn't seem to understand that and you are correct i shouldn't try and make him see any of that at this point.

He did go to the party last night and he was greatful for that. I know for a fact that the OW wasn't there cause the party was about 2 miles from my SIL who did several drive buys. His car was there and she was not. I didn't kow what else to do. I tried suggesting doing something with me like going to the movies so even if he didn't want to talk to me right now. I probably made the wrong choice there but as i told him i am not keeping him here. He said he wanted to go with my permission. He wasn't going to go if it was going to be that big of a deal for me.

I am going to take your advice not to give into his arguing. When i notice him in a bad mood i am just going to give him his space and let him go. I am not going to ask what's wrong any more i know he is going to be miserible for a long time and i have to accept that. I really do appreciate the input cause i feel lost in this whole thing. Thank you to everyone

How do you know if plan A is working? I don't want to bring up the OW and ask him if he has talked to her at all cause i don't want to start another argument or anything and i know in Plan A you aren't supposed to talk about the A or the R. I am just wondering how i know. He has been in a fair mood and talkitive with me recently and i don't know if it is a game or if it is really him coming through.