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Joined: Apr 2005
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oh wait! she didn't post here! whatfreakinever! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


Don't Mess with Texas!! \:D
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I agree with everything MelodyLane says!

LMAO!

Shaddup GBT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

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lol

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My best friend hung onto her marriage as long as she could before she finally filed for divorce because her WS was not supporting her and the children, and was living with the OW. Because he became infuriated over the amount of child support that he would have to pay for 3 children, he came to the house and abused and raped her. She became pregnant, so the divorce was not final until after the baby was born.

Just before her child was due, her WH and OW applied for a marriage license, even though the divorce was not final. This information appeared in the local paper.

You may wonder what this has to do with dating while married.

Well, she was horrified at the guys who seemed to come out of the woodwork showing up on her doorstep. Most of them were rude and crude...and apparently assuming that she needed "some lovin'". Now, my friend is not a large person, but she had BIG babies, so she was especially shocked at the guys propositioning her in her advanced stage of pregnancy.

She finally got her brother to come stay with her for a while, as she got a little scared.

I've had several divorced friends tell me that the same things happened to them. Some of them WERE so lonely that they fell for one of the vultures, and they suffered tremendously because of it.

THAT is one reason why I don't think an about to be divorced or newly divorced woman should rush into "dating". She needs time to heal and lose some of her vulnerability, and gain some perspective when it comes to evaluating a potential new partner.

I can imagine that the same thing must happen to men. I do think that if the man is fairly well-off financially, the female vultures are more likely to be looking for marriage than just a good time.

MEDC, I think it's better to be safe than sorry.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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LC...better safe than sorry...yep, I agree.

I have however seen some separated people that have their act very well together. I think it varies with the individual.

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I have however seen some separated people that have their act very well together. I think it varies with the individual.

Ummm...yeah...and there are a lot of people who are good at faking it and a lot of people living in denial...and I think these are more likely the case than not.

We're just gonna have to agree to disagree.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Married is MARRIED. Separated is not DIVORCED. Divorced is DIVORCED. There is no almost divorced.

If you date while still married, you are committing adultery.

So, throw stones at me. My wife is divorcing ME over HER adultery.

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Do you have any idea how many BS on this site over my several years on this board have recovered their marriages EVEN AFTER divorce was filed? Hundreds if not thousands, because they followed Harley's principles which includes NOT dating while you work the plans.

You need numbers to back up such a bold statement.

I'm calling you out on this or else you are a liar.

I am willing to bet my airplane that the number of recoveries vs divorces is abysmal.

Whaddaya got?

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There are no guarantees, but dating while married certainly does not help your efforts. Quite the contrary.

I no longer want recovery.

She tried to have me killed by OM for my insurance.

Speaks volumes for adulterous women.

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And BTW: What type of person would date someone who is still married? Answer: One who does not value or honor marriage or commitment. One that may very well cheat on YOU. But I guess that must be okay with you considering you are also participating.

Something to think about.

Jo

My GF knew the full extent of my situation before becoming involved with me.

I am powerless to move the divorce foreward until the judge enforces his decision.


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Pariah, I say this as someone that falls on your side of the fence in this discussion...
Your anger towards Resilient is misplaced. And what makes you think that she has access to statistics from MB. I can say in my time here that there have been more than a few people that have progressed as far as divorce being filed and then recovered. I would also say that while the incidents of recovered marriages vs. those that do not is less than 50% (recovered)...that the Harley's plan to help people is very successful.
I wouldn't want recovery in your situation either. In fact...your wife and her friend would need to find a rice bowl in China to be safe imho...but please know there is no difference in the depths to which a female or male ws will sink. They are both low down dirty creatures that are capable of anything.
I think that those that feel as Resilient and the others do here have their hearts in the right place. They are trying to protect the sanctity of marriage....it is a slippery slope to date while separated...but one that I think needs to be evaluated on a case by case basis.
YOU, IMHO...are already without a spouse...as I said earlier, the judge's signature means nothing to me.

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LC...yep, agree to disagree.

Some people do fake things..but I think I am a good enough judge of people to know when that is the case.

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