This is how you feel today.. keep your head on straight brother and your eyes focused on Today.. eventually things will right themselves and you'll feel full again.

Let yourself heal from this, use it to learn about you. If she comes crawling back and wants to meet your conditions in the meantime, fine.. otherwise.. you've grown -so- much. Use what you've learned to find the right person... use what you've learned to -be- the right person.

You know now, and have the tools to be Mr. Right.

Here's to hoping the best Ms. Right comes along for you.

Thanks for sticking with me bro.. it means a lot. I'll help where I can here.

Today is the focus.

I will learn and heal.

It's somehwat strange I almost feel like the only people who can understand me are BS's, my father, and those who have dealt with these type of situations.

It takes amazing strength tho go through this and James your patience is boundless which is admirable.

Continue to stay strong and upbeat. I'll keep coming back to check on you and everyone else.

P.S. Methinks the karma bus will be running over my ex very soon.

Okay, so you've exposed the A. That was the right thing 2 do. The OMW needed 2 know what was happening 2 her marriage. Now it's up 2 her 2 decide what 2 do about the si2ation.

You said above that your xGF has done this before. My recommendations as 2 what you should do now, with this new information, are somewhat different than what I said before...

Run SCREAMING from the room! ...and never look back.

Consider this a case of "Good riddance 2 bad (if beautiful) rubbish."

Her problems are her problems from now on. Not yours. She may grow in2 a wonderful person someday, but as it was said above, that's going 2 take her years of hard work - AFTER she stops interfering with other peoples' marriages.

Now what we need 2 do is help you disentangle yourself from the remaining ties you have. Can you "sacrifice" the car? Like sell it and divvy the proceeds? Or, if she's sold it and has the money, just let her have it and be done with it - cutting your financial loss for the sake of a clean break all around?

-ol' 2long

I got chuckle at the running away screaming thing. So true ...

As for the car she has it and the title is in her name but still with the bank. I could walk away but I want to recoup some of my money. I have a strong legal case if I went to small claims court. SO that's still a possibility.

Yep she has to get her head screwed on right which if it hasn't been done after 30 years may never be done. If so will take more than a few years of work.

Hm...

Some is how much? Don't have 2 answer that, but think about this a bit.

She gets 2 stay on the fence and keep you in the wings just in case the OM won't dump his W, or maybe if he does and she doesn't want 2 be his full-time plaything. All for a few hundred or thousand bucks over a used car.

Why fight her in court if you can separate yourself completely right now by letting her keep the money?

Even tell her that's what you're doing (only don't call her rubbish, methinks).

-ol' 2long

Well 2 long it would be for about 3K in my estiamtion I'd ask for 4k if I went to court.

She's not really keeping me in the wings at the moment. I know that sounds contrary to what I've been thinking and feeling, but I absolutely refuse to have anything to do with her until she owns her crap and takes responsibility.

She'll probably not even tell me when the car sells. (seeing as it won't be til next September.

She's rubbish but because she's never dealt with her childhood abandoment issues.

I.e her mother and father cheated on each other seperated for 2 years and then stayed married and have been okay ever since.

Clearly she's been screwed up from day 1.

Yup, unless you're talking about $5000 (at least!) or more I'd consider the car the cost for your education into her true character. The emotional cost plus the time and effort of reclaiming any money she owes you probably jsut isn't worth it. Buh bye woman, buh bye car, grad school beckons. . .

Part of me would love to go to court because then I'd lump a rent issue in as well and have grounds to expose her affair in court.

I'm just gathering my paperwork in case and I have 2 years (until Nov 2009) to file a complaint.

In the meantime I'm going to get into a grad school and get the career I always wanted. Ultimate revenge would be getting an influental job in her home city and her having to hear about it from her family. How's that for revenge by living your life to its fullest.:)

Now your talking revenge and punishment.

Don't make that your problem.

it's been said that "The best revenge is 2 live well."

I go one step farther: "The best revenge isn't."

-ol' 2long

I know that isn't the proper path either. I've tried to keep my mother the lawyer ut of it as she's been pushing the court angle a bit more. It's not in my character, really but I don't want to continue to be a doormat.

I'll porbbaly just let it die on its own.

So sicne all of this went down I decided to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist feels that I mabe having a bipolar episode as a result of the whole event.

I knew I was ADD but I wan't ever depressed per se but apparently the cheating and getting dumped and now the cold demeanor of my ex has trigger a bi polar episode where my psych doc thinks I need to take medical leave for two weeks for cognitive group therapy and evalaution.

Thanks again ex for all the joy you've given me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Me thinks the karma bus will hit you hard.

Four11:

Let This Go.



The only one capable of getting you off the Drama Triangle and out of the Victim role is you.

(but that does remind me of one of my favorite bumper stickers: "Sorry, my karma just ran over your dogma") <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

It's going and I want it out of my life now.

I was just venting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

It's okay 2 vent. And I realize that's what it was.

But those kinds of thought paths can be a trap. Just be careful.

-ol' 2long

We all need reminders. I gues I'm just have an off day .... week .... month hrmm maybe life <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

At least I'm getting help