Feedback on what??? You are about as transparent as mud...There is nothing TO give feedback on EXCEPT the fluff that you add...And you have been given feedback on that and you don't like it...So what specifically do you want feedback on???

And it's true that some hand holding and friendship goes on here, but that is between FRIENDS...People that have bared their souls here and been transparent...Those people get what you are asking for...You haven't gotten that because you are unwilling to SHARE...

Something else that I don't think you seem to realize, many of us here do actually know each other in the "3D World" as you call it...So there ya go...Those are the brass tacks facts, do with them what you may...

Mrs. W

Well... do you "bare your soul"... when you begin to share and are called a ****??????

Would you think, "My, I think I'll share my most intimate life's details... how nice of friends..."

I'm not going to share any history.

Today is the day... that's it... and if I don't meet your criteria, Mrs. W... it just doesn't fit.

Rather than become increasingly frustrated because my personality does not "meld" with yours... and you do not like my style... yes, you may want to share where you are more comfortable.

However, Josie and Charlotte and I WERE bonding... and you and mimi "swooped in"... and disrupted... and hijacked this thread.

If you can't hang with me and be a friend... that's okay.

Everyone is different.

But can you please stop causing trouble for me?

Call me Captain Obvious, but it seems to me that you don't actually need any help in causing yourself trouble...You do that just fine on your own...

But seriously, what did you actually come here asking for help with? You came here and presented PLAN BACK and when told it wasn't necessarily a good idea you got bent...Forums work like this...You say something, others may disagree and say so...gotta roll with that...You can choose to ACT and not REACT...I understand that is hard, but it IS possible...Blaming YOUR bad behavior on others is unlikely to work out well for you...That is true both here and in your real life...

And Back, this board isn't a playground...Yes, sometimes we have some fun here, but that is AFTER sharing and bonding have taken place...Sorry if that doesn't work for you, but it is how things are...

Mrs. W

If you aren't ready and willing to swim in the deep end here, then perhaps you should limit your posting to Idiotville...I saw that you joined there...Maybe that is what you are looking for..dunno...

Mrs. W

No one called you a ****you misread what was written....how can you take an "example" and read into it SOOOOOOOO badly.....No one here is calling you any names....

SIHW,

FYI, the******************edit**********

yes, ba109...

the matter with **** is a non-issue... as if it never happened.

it was*****
it's a challenge when persons are so harsh... i'd just like a different tone.... and one i'm less prone to react against.... doesn't respond well to name-calling. once had a very bad relationship - not with the ex - with a verbal abuser. very bad.

anyway, one thing about the ex - despite all his errors... was the calmest, gentlest speaker (nice introvert)... i've personally ever met. (i thought it was cause it was the Lord, too... like that was that...)

kind calm speech... just does something for me.

no one talks to me like the ex. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

so diplomatic...



*sips cappucinno

(not really - drinking pop and eating a burrito supreme from Taco Bell).

thinking about Christmas.

Well the guilty party you talk of thats him tough love.....can't do nothin about it....but i like the fiestiness in him...it's cute I wanna pinch his cheekies....awwwww

Justuss,

You are quick on the draw lately. My comment was just an FYI to another poster.

It was not intended to fan any flames as you can see by backs response.

Perhaps you should put the "H" word on the automatic censor list. I will refrain from using it.

medc raising his hand...
anyone that sleeps with another persons spouse is indeed acting in a very sexually promiscuous fashion.
I stand by those posts and thoughts.

Never did I agree or disagree with you. Didn't have a dog in the fight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, thought regarding a ltd. Plan A.

I don't know if it's good to cry or not when I think about it... but the one thing I just cannot take is the LYING!!!!

You know... how they lie...

anyway, to me lying was "verbal abuse".

Anyway, I think that's why I "burned" so quickly inside... cause the lying by the ex. It bankrupted and beyond my "love bank"... quickly. (It just hurt like... the dickens.)

So... somehow... we just can't talk. Or... he has to be done with the OW.

How this will work, I don't know. It won't work. All I"m saying is that if he lies... he'll withdraw "love units" so drastically and quickly due to what I've been through and how the lying "hits me"... that, well, I think that's the explanation (causation) for panic attacks.

So, somehow, I've got to keep him from "withdrawing units"... for me to "handle" even a Ltd. Plan A... imo.

"It was nice talking to you"... and I walk away... the minute he says one lie. Maybe that will "save me".

(Otherwise, I'm burnt toast.. inside... if he continues to lie. It's very imperative that I don't expose myself to him lying.)

It's his kindness... beyond that. Other guys have been very, very, very kind to me. So, the ex has more than just kindness... it's not just an emotional ability to "fill a love bank".

But, really, no one else has been able to reach me. I haven't even had any feelings of "falling in love"... or anything... for anyone else. Just physical attraction once in a while... but that means nothing. I won't even date on the basis of that.

So if I see him and we communicate and the subject matter stays calm and OFF of issues that are related to an area where he will lie... (due to circumstances)... a Ltd. Plan A has a real chance.

I think it's wisest for it to be on "my time"... because I am the one who has suffered the panic attacks... really, against my own will the way I see it.

Eureka!

I have this card... with a scripture on it... it's a "motto" for me at my job. (I'll say nothing more!!! About work.)

It says: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and all your PLANS will SUCCEED". Proverbs 16:3

Well, we all know what I think about THAT!!! (It works. There is power beyond human ability in that Word. It's God... in motion... when engrafted... and utilized.)

My children? I'm not saying divorce is "okay" or children are "resillient"... no. However, I dedicated my children to the Lord... and, I believe, today... their lives are "on track". A "restoration" of sorts has occurred in their lives.

Eureka! (sometimes things just don't occur to me... then the "light" goes on.)

I'm dedicating my Ltd. Plan A to the Lord... for His restoring power... His power.

"In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I hereby dedicate this Ltd. Plan A to the Lord - that all my plans would succeed."

(God may now "take over".)

If my Ltd. Plan A proves that this bond is over - grace is gone (moved) - and it's time for a new relationship in my life IN the Lord's will... so be it.

If it's the Lord's will for reconciliation with the ex... so be it.

Whatever the Lord's will is... to restore me to someone else... to restore me and the ex... my Ltd. Plan A will succeed.

It's now the Lord's Ltd. Plan A.... In Jesus' name... I pray.

I don't understand your Ltd. Plan A. Is it to simply say "hi" to your ex nicely and then walk away? Do you see him regularly (i.e. do you exchange kids for custody)?

Still, I don't see how you can Plan A someone else's spouse. That's what I think the OP's do, they Plan A someone else's spouse until they end up in bed with them, don't they?

AGG

I'm not 100% sure, honestly, if this scripture applies. It's a spiritual matter. It seems to apply... but I'm not 100% certain until God reveals Himself not just through His Word, not just in the inward witness of the Holy Spirit, but through circumstances. All must agree for me to know 100% certain:

Mark 10:11
He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.


If this scripture applies (which it may or may not... I'm not 100% sure)... is it possible to commit adultery without being married? No.

This is the chain of events in this scripture:

1. A man divorces his wife;
2. The same man marries another woman.
3. In marrying the other woman - the man commits "adultery" against... the wife he divorced.

If this scripture applies and means what it says... God considers the man actually still married.

(Otherwise it wouldn't be called "adultery" to be married outside the Lord's will... thus outside covenant bonds of holy matrimony.)

In fact, the only way I'm going to know for certain... is if I personally learn from the Holy Spirit in practise that the bond has truly been "erased".

If so, my next action steps - upon learning this - will be to more extensively date until such time as I meet a new person... or just gain a personal sense of confidence and freedom... and the person in front of me I can then recognize to be the "right person".

It comes down to a spiritual thing. And I'm the one who has to live the life. The life has been single. I want to be married. But I can't marry without feeling the Lord is in it.

It comes down to respecting my right to practise my religion... that even if other's religion is different... I'm going to practise mine.

God bless

No, there are no custody issues. My kids are not minors.

God bless.

We have ALL been thru what you have been thru and then some. You have no idea.

Difference is, we came here with OPEN minds willing to listen and learn. Looking for help by being transparent with ourselves and our situations, and not puffing ourselves up pretending we're something we're not.

You, on the other hand, have played games with people here. You're taking away valuable support time from people who really need and want it. People who are bearing their souls and begging for support in this most devistating life altering time in their lives.

Shame on you.

Jo

Also, please don't go "ape" on my people. I am not trying to "brag". I'm just sayin'.

I do feel a personal conviction on this matter. And I have sat down with a young man... who divorced his wife... and was fooling around... and had a very GENTLE discussion with him about holy matrimony.

He stopped fooling around.

He got back with his XW.

I didn't talk about all the stuff in Dr. Harley's books - though I think it's right.

I talked about the beauty of the love of God from Heaven... "holy matrimony".

It it works, ppl., it works. And it sure can't be me. He stopped... and he thought... and he said, "Well, it always does seem fake... like I don't really love... "... (what we know to be the OW). "And no matter how mad I get at the XW... there's always still a sweet love for her deep down in my heart."

I said, "Yep, that's the bonds of holy matrimony... You better get you back in that marriage!"

He did.

(He's not the only one who listens to me... and my rather unique style of talk... but you know what? They actually, honestly think "Well, everyone's doing it!"... and it takes some talking to for them to really understand that there is a SPECIAL LOVE reserved only in holy matrimony.)

Please don't go "ape" on me. I'm just sayin'.

Jo,

I'm sorry, I had to iggy you. Please do not take the thread off topic.

God bless,