If you have observed a pattern, then you should be able to substantiate the instances when I have done so multiple time, yes?



That was your misreading of what I wrote. I pointed out that time eventually reveals trolls. The concern I expressed was that in the rush to call troll whenever the outside-the-norm story shows up, we have driven off people *who were not trolls*.

Ace pointed out that when she first came on this forum, she was accused of being a troll. She left the forum. She did eventually come back. She was not a troll.

So, what I said that you have misinterpreted was that we shouldn't be so quick to yell troll in the situations where the circumstances described sound off. What I said was that it was better to NOT harm a potential betrayed spouse in our rush to make sure that no troll will go unneutralized.

How you translate that to "compassion for trolls" is an assertion that I am requesting that you support with actual links or complete quotes.

Bottom line on these boards...people are free to post as they choose and it is up to the mods to decide if they are out of line or not. More often than not, it is the people that are complaining about how others post that are being edited because of their rude comments. FCF comes to mind.

so JL left. Is that a shame...yep. But no one made him leave...it was his choice. Every single person here is free to come and go as they please so long as they are not banned.

People here get frustrated over a direct approach on certain posters. I get just as frustrated by the rampant political correctness around here. It makes me want to puke sometimes...BUT, this is not my board and so, I worry about me. Steve Harley is responsible for the boards...I happen to think he does a good job. The Harley's designed these boards so that with few exceptions, we work out our differences as adults. For those that are unhappy with the way the boards are being run....complain if you will...but remember at the end of the day...YOU are the one choosing to be here.

Posted by back to a newbie to MB


This sincerely concerns me. New members beware. back is definitely not "coach" material.

I agree with your last post, MEDC.

I do think, however, that BACK needs help and yes, compassion.

I'm gonna go back and read my SCRIPTURES regarding Jesus' response to the mentally ill.

Maybe there's a LESSON in this for ME...

Mimi...you are free to think that. I happen to think Back needs a swift kick in the [censored].

Are you saying that it is more emotionally immature to point out the negativity of name calling and that actual name calling is evidence of more maturity?

Is that what you are saying?

I wanna know why? What GOOD would that do?

That type of response NEVER ever helped ME with anything.

DISCLAIMER: I don't believe in PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT. I never ever even spanked my kids...

Grap:

You are making some good points.

Bullcrap. There was no misreading at all, nor have people been "driven off." But folks have been driven off by TROLLS. [strangely there is no "compassion" for them] I understand your position exactly. Your concern lies with the POTENTIAL of hurting someone's feelings and NOT at all with actual troll victims or those folks who are driven off.


She never claimed she left for that reason. AND she is still here. Nor would any mature person leave over that reason. She didn't. If a person leaves over that reason, the problem is not being called a troll but with emotional immaturity. <----that is what you DON'T GET

So no, I have misinterpreted nothing, graplin. Except a pattern of misplaced compassion that impairs your judgment in these matters and even leads you to believe you are the self appointed arbiter of compassion. You are not. You are very selectively "compassionate."

Further evidence of my point is your assertion that back/Laura was "abused," and nary a mention of the people she abused. As usual you have it backwards.

Folks were more than patient and tolerant with her here. For example, when I saw her going off on how MEAN posters were to her, [when she was, in reality, being MEAN to them] I simply posted her own remarks back to her and she quickly changed direction. That was not "abuse;" that was my compassionate way of toning her down. And it worked.

But, in your immature way of thinking, that is "abuse." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Starkly contrasted to your SILENCE about the people she abused.

me either Mimi. Lighten up...we are on the internet...obviously she can't ACTUALLY be KICKED.

As I have said before, I think she is just having sport with the board. I do not accept your "diagnosis" of her.

Do you not learn in 2nd and 3rd grade that sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me? Do you teach your children to collapse into tears and MELT and train them to be emotional cripples?

Do you teach children that they cannot change the WORLD but they CAN change their reaction to others? THAT is maturity, graplin.

lighten up is right, MEDC...thanks... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Merry Christmas Jo.

graplin, another sign of immaturity is the belief that you can change the world to accommodate your sensibilities. An exercise in futility. Instead of changing your sensibilites to adapt to the world.

For example, you do not have the power to control others on this board who might wrongly accuse a troll. I don't, you don't. How in the world do you imagine you have that kind of power? Are you planning on scolding people until the end of time?

Wouldn't it make more sense to encourage someone who was wrongly accused to let it roll off their backs? That is what I have done. Tell them that this board is attacked by trolls often so sometimes a person might get called a troll. I would understand that, wouldn't you? Ace and MrsW were both called trolls. They didn't collapse in tears and call their mommy about their hurt feelings.

Don't encourage people to be emotional cripples, graplin.

Merry Christmas, my flat headed yankee gal friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

If Laura/Back is mentally ill, the help she desperately needs CANNOT be administered here...And she ABSOLUTELY CAN HARM others due to her mental illness...ba109's quote of her offering to "coach" a newbie with their Plan A is evidence of that, imo...It is NOT okay to offer "compassion" to her by way of allowing her to harm others...The mentally ill DO hold some responsibility for helping themselves...The only form of help any here can actually give her is to continue to point out that she needs help...I see nothing whatsoever wrong with trying to neutralize her in effort to prevent harm to others here...She does NOT have a right to harm others just because of a mental illness...

Now, even if she is NOT mentally ill, the situation is this...She is here as an OW trying to learn how to bastardize Plan A to entice a MARRIED MAN into an affair...THAT is NOT acceptable behavior in the least...And I think it is safe to say that her agenda is NOT going to change since it has remained the SAME since she registered here back in 2000...In fact, I'd go out on a limb and say that that is such a harmful agenda in this venue that she should even be considered by the mods for banning...

Mrs. W

Once again Mrs. W...you have earned my "Poster of the Week" award! Mel...you were a close second this week! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Agree very much, MrsW; the "compassion" shown here is very misplaced, and perhaps tragically so at the expense of OTHERS whom we CAN and should help.

This all makes me sick, sick, sick.

As my signature so aptly says:

Misplaced compassion gives power to EVIL..

So, no matter how many times I point out to you that you are misrepresenting what I have posted and what I believe - you will continue in your misinterpretation and continue to argue against that misinterpretation?

I just want to make sure that I understand what you are choosing to do.

My concern is simple - there are people who show up here who are broken by infidelity, emotionally distraught, suffering from disorders and seeking contact with others. They often have some parameter that falls outside the norm.

In our haste to weed out and neutralize trolls, we are accusing people who are not trolls of being trolls. We are mocking them and accusing them of changing their story when they try to *explain* and add more facts.

BSs and WSs who are already here and getting support can avoid the threads that cause them pain. They have an option. They can stay off the thread/s. They can choose not to engage. They can get support for their pain.

The new person who shows up here with what appears to be a weird story has no support, they have no option - what harm is there in dealing with them honestly, kindly and with integrity? Instead of responding with attacking, haranguing, abusive responses because they are suspect?

You *can* counteract bad input by posting against the input rather than demeaning the person posting. You *can* correct people and point out where you think they err. You *don't* have to demean and misrepresent and mock in order to neutralize those you think are trolls.


And I never said she did! This is another case of you setting up your straw arguments. I was pointing out that she was falsely accused.

People who show up here may not be mature. Does that justify yours and others bad behaviors *who are more experienced and should be acting more mature*?

Who are those who would set themselves up as the gauntlet that the less-than-lovely must run through in order to prove whether or not they have the emotional maturity to endure at which time they may have access to support?