I am assuming that you mean to say UNREPENTANT adulterers, right MM? There are FWSs here that are repentant and give sound advice...

Mrs. W

I think adulterer would be present tense. You are far removed from that Mrs. W.

Medc...one of the unhinged.

I think she meant that too MEDC...

Mrs. W<~~~equally unhinged <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

"I am assuming that you mean to say UNREPENTANT adulterers, right MM? There are FWSs here that are repentant and give sound advice..."

Yes, thanx for the correction.

Actually, since the married man Back has targeted apparently hasn't yet fallen for her seduction tactics, she is only an adulteress-wanna-be...

I think he should get a restraining order against her and warn his wife about her. I wonder if he knows how delusional and determined she is?

"Aar, I was the only one who cared enough to respond to your post."

Flat out lie Back; several people responded to her.

And as to your 'caring' for her... how much do you 'care' about the wife of the married man you believe God has given you permission to try to seduce into adultery?

Guys, icant believe what im reading...here im with a million problems, with no idea wich direction to follow and people talking about my caring for Back...o whatever [censored].
Do not give a [censored] about anybody here sorry guys, dont have time, energy for all these crap. Do not care at all who Back is!
All i was hoping to get was some opinion by somebody who taught might know some answers or have gone through the same im going through.
Dont care whether they're adulterers or not. |Just wanted some OPINION, i'll say it again. Doesnt mean im going to follow it. If any of u say something i dont agree with, i wont do it.
Fine u warned about Back, it's over, dont care. will post tomorrow.Back can post if she wants, i can listen if i want to, and i'[ll do whatever i think is best

Aranchaa,

Sorry your thread got distracted. I see RIF has started another post. He is a great supporter. Please use his thread to ask your questions.

take care,
L.

Orchid -

Aranchaa is the one who started THIS thread, purportedly TO discuss the fraud issue here in this new thread.

Several people had posted to Aranchaa in her other thread where she is asking for help, in spite of the thread title implying she was ONLY seeking responses from two specific posters.

Back also posted in Aranchaa's thread telling Aranchaa to do something specific and questionable. That advice from Back was countered with some alternative advice from other posters who backed up their advice with solid explanations and examples from their own experience.

There was also some warning posted about Back.

Strangely the false claim was made that the ONLY one who was responding to Aranchaa was Back... in spite of postings from several others in that thread. Back repeated that false claim and said it was because she was the ONLY one who cared enough to help Aranchaa.

Again, several posters offered to help Aranchaa. She was asked for more info so that we could respond to whatever specific questions she had or issues she was dealing with. She was given tips on how to draw more people to her thread. We were waiting for her to return to her thread. I'm pretty sure I even posted to her in this thread, which she started to discuss the fraud problem, that we were responding to her in her original thread.

I never told Aranchaa that she couldn't talk to Back or get advice from her. I clearly stated that IMHO it was for Aranchaa to decide who she got advice from. I encouraged her to check out the available info and decide for herself. It is a logical and compassionate presumption that most BS's come here wanting help from people who oppose adultery. And again, Aranchaa herself expressed some concern about whether or not this site really was about stopping adultery or just a fruad. That was interpreted as an indication from Aranchaa that it did matter to her too. (Plus of course she is the one who started this thread about fraud.)

I responded to Back, in this thread that Aranchaa started specifically to address fraud, in response to a lie that Back had posted:

""Aar, I was the only one who cared enough to respond to your post."

My response, TO BACK, not to Aranchaa:

"Flat out lie Back; several people responded to her.

And as to your 'caring' for her... how much do you 'care' about the wife of the married man you believe God has given you permission to try to seduce into adultery?"

Then Aranchaa posts, in the thread SHE herself started to discuss the Back/fraud question:

" Guys, icant believe what im reading...here im with a million problems, with no idea wich direction to follow and people talking about my caring for Back...o whatever [censored].
Do not give a [censored] about anybody here sorry guys, dont have time, energy for all these crap. Do not care at all who Back is!
All i was hoping to get was some opinion by somebody who taught might know some answers or have gone through the same im going through.
Dont care whether they're adulterers or not. |Just wanted some OPINION, i'll say it again. Doesnt mean im going to follow it. If any of u say something i dont agree with, i wont do it.
Fine u warned about Back, it's over, dont care. will post tomorrow.Back can post if she wants, i can listen if i want to, and i'[ll do whatever i think is best

OK...wow...wierdness...

She can't believe that people are posting in this thread about the topic she stated this thread was going to be about?

Meanwhile posters have been waiting for her to return to her thread so they can help her with the million problems and to give her direction... as soon as she herself goes back to her thread and gives us something to respond to. I did keep posting to her in her thread and even bumped up another thread of hers.

"and people talking about my caring for Back...o whatever [censored]."

huh? I can't find any posts where anyone is talking about Aranchaa 'caring for Back'. Does Aranchaa think that when I post responses to Back I am talking to Aranchaa? Is somebody getting confused maybe?

"Do not give a [censored] about anybody here sorry guys,"

Ouch! IMHO that sounds sort of self-centered and way harsh!

"dont have time, energy for all these crap."

OK, that's cool but it makes it sort of strange that she started a new thread just to talk about something that she doesn't have time and energy for, and that she thinx is just crap anyway... wierdness... It's not as if somebody forced her to start and then (barely) participate in this thread anyway... SHEESH! Soooooo, why not go back to the thread where people are WAITING for her so they can give her help with her own situation? Frankly I don't see any evidence that she has spent much time posting in any of the threads she started, let alone been somehow detained from posting and/or getting help in any specific thread.

"Do not care at all who Back is!"

Whatever... so why leave her thread to start another thread to basically get more info on whether or not there is fraud going on here regarding Back?

And anyway I did say that IMHO it was up to Aranchaa to come to her own conclusion about Back, after checking out Back's background, IF it even matters to Aranchaa... sheesh!

"All i was hoping to get was some opinion by somebody who taught might know some answers or have gone through the same im going through."

And she did get that, and would have gotten even more if she would have gone back to her thead and responded to those who were waiting for her. Many people who know what it feels like to be a BS responded to her, including myself. We provided insight on how well what we tried worked or didn't work, explanations as to how MB principles work, etc.

"Dont care whether they're adulterers or not."

Her prerogative, as I had stated. However if conflicts with her previous statement because being an adulterer doesn't give one much experience or empathy about a BS's situation. Maybe if she'd post more details about her own situation we could determine exactly what she means when she says "have gone through the same im going through."? Is she saying she wants responses from BS's only? or from anyone? or from adulterers? We thought we were giving her info based on the shared experience of being BS's.

"|Just wanted some OPINION, i'll say it again. Doesnt mean im going to follow it. If any of u say something i dont agree with, i wont do it."

Well, of course, that's the way it worx here for everyone. The only posting I saw where somebody was appointing themself her 'coach' and referring to 'we' in regards to what they were going to do about her situation, was Back. Everybody else was simply waiting for her to come back to her thread and was in no way trying to tell her what to do or to CONTROL her. And really it's just fine with the posters here that we each choose what we're going to do from the advice given (except of course when a poster's stated agenda is to seduce somebody else's husband - and even THEN only a minority of the posters here have objected to that).

"Fine u warned about Back, it's over, dont care."

OK. Didn't make sense to start a thread about Back then did it? And IMHO a rather harsh way to give the FIRST indication that she has come to her conclusion about Back and/or lost interest in the topic of this thead.

"will post tomorrow."

I hope she really does post in her thread about her situation.

"Back can post if she wants, i can listen if i want to, and i'[ll do whatever i think is best"

I never said otherwise.

BTW Orchid her thread really didn't even 'get distracted'...

She was apparently too busy elsewhere to stick around her own thread which has responses MOSTLY about trying to help her AND she started THIS thread TO talk about whether or not Back/MB is a fraud. Why apologize just because somebody complains without first determining whether or not the complaint is valid? Incidentally, who is it being insinuated 'distracted' attention away from her thead (or distracted HER attention away from her own thread)? My guess is that first of all MOST of the posters here have never even opened her thead because of it only being addressed to two. And those of us who have posted to her, while soem of us may have also posted in this thread started by her, have not done so for the purpose of drawing attention or help away from her other thread.

You know 'wierdness' used to be something I rarely said but lately around here the wierdness factor has shown a DRAMAtic increase...

sigh...

A,

When I first came to this site, I was DESPARATE for answers and felt like I WASN'T getting them. I would keep posting, but NEVER felt like I was getting what I NEEDED. What I didn't realize was those who answered me, WERE GIVING me exactly what I needed. This is a MARATHON, A WAR so to speak and the single battles aren't what matter, but the WAR.

I totally understand the need for gratification - immediately. I felt like I HAD to do something NOW or it would be TOO LATE.

Please understand and know you are in a VERY SAFE and KNOWLEDGABLE place where people who have walked before us, take time from their lives and families to spend time with us in many cases, HOLDING OUR HANDS.

Time is on your side. There is SO MUCH to learn and what you are embark on will change you forever.

Keep asking questions and trust the process. It's HARD, and I KNOW how you want those answers immediately, but YOUR life is involved here and those who HELP YOU, will steer you in the right place.

TRUST them, in many cases they are G-d's gift to you as you walk through this horrific time in your life.

One thing that was said to me is this is not for the faint hearted. Oh, let me tell you how TRUE that is. I wish you luck and look forward to reading about your successes as you walk on this journey that you are faced with.

SG

A,

Please disreguard some of the current drama here. In no way is this forum a fraud. MB and this forum have helped me thru the tougest period of my life, and helped me find my way to a recovered marriage.

So, why not start over and tell us a bit about your situation. I am presuming that you have thoroughly read the free information on MB regarding affairs, plan A, plan B, LB's EN's etc.

I also suggest that you pick up a copy of Surviving an Affair for starters.

You can listen to the posts of anyone you choose here, but please be careful. The center of the most recent contraversy spews verbatim some of the same philosophy that the OW in my situation did. Just be aware that all the advice you get here will not be in the interest of saving your marriage.

Best,

Who

bumping for Aranchaa

Also, there have been some new posts in your other threads with people offering to help you, and RIF has started another thread for you.