Thank for the support...this is very sad and very hard.

We are going to spend the evening with the boys and each other now. Have a great night!

We'll check in later...

Hmm. I don't see us needing any lumber here LaLa. No 2x4's will be required!

I think that was meant for W2S... our Lala is getting a little kinky on us. LOL

Hehehehe...he WISHES <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I was just being my goofy self when I wrote that...plus I figured the drive-by clubbings would surely ensue. I was going to take it out later anyways.

Hi all!

Just wanted to give you guys my thoughts on exposing to OM's W. I think everyone is right she does have a right to know. My problem has always been the potential for harm to come to myself, LaLa or our children either directly or indirectly. The fact remains that he is a VERY bad person and we have no way of knowing exactly what he is capable of. Because of the crowd he runs with I would say that access to a gun is a given. Restraining orders aren't bulletproof and moving away isn't possible because of our current financial position. If a one on one physical confrontation took place I'm very sure I would have no problem defending myself. I'm 6' 240 pounds and I have a mean streak you wouldn't beleive when I'm threatened. My fear is that should he lose everything and choose to retaliate against me or my family it won't be a one on one confrontation. What I'm being asked to do is exactly the kind of thing that brings crimes of passion.

When I was 19, I was jumped by 6 men outside of a friends house. I received multiple blows to the head with a 2x4(no joke) and was hit acrossed the side of my face with a 40oz bottle that knocked 3 teeth from my mouth, split my cheeck all the way through and split my gums also. At the time, I had no health insurance and the whole thing cost me over $5000 in medical bills. So I'm well aware of what can happen when the odds are stacked against you.

I'm going to go through with exposing this, but I'm not happy about it. I'm having a real problem with risking my children's future to what amounts to be a coin flip....

p.s. If he would take revenge against myself or LaLa what in the world would we tell our children. That they lost their mother/father because we did the right thing? Somehow I don't think that would be very comforting to them.

Ahhhhh...enter the 2x4's.

He has suffered migraines for the last three weeks...it started immediately after the night on my thread where all this was "discussed" while he was at work. Go easy on him, please!

That's kind of harsh. At least for me, if the Leafs can't win I want the Habs to.

My paternal grandmother was born in London Ont and moved to Windsor when she was young so I have my CN roots (and a couple of Roots shirts too!). My brothers and kids and I go to Canada probably once a year, mostly in the Sault area, but sometimes around Lake Huron. Still haven't been to Quebec yet, but it's on my list.

Hi Guys,

My thoughts are with you. I can't imagine the anguish you're going through trying to figure this out.

If he's this unstable and had friends that are just as unstable, and that you work while Lala and the kids are home alone would make me think twice about how to handle this. IMO it doesn't matter how she sees this, at the end of the day OM will see this as revenge, and from what you're description of him, that's not good.

Be very, very, very careful!!!

IMO, if you have concerns about the physical safety of your family, I would not rush to expose.

As a parent, my moral obligation to my children supersedes any moral obligation I might have to an adult.

For the benefit of TMTS here I want to re-iterate that we have ONE case on here of the OP's Spouse or OP beating up a BS because of exposure. The chances of this happening are SO REMOTE as to be considered as ZERO.

Simply it WON'T happen.....

TMTS,

That's exactly my point. There hasn't been contact in over 9 months and there is no indication that there would be any attempt at it in the future. The house they live in is owned by OM's W, it was willed to her by her grandmother, and he could be thrown out with no recourse. If that happens, I have no doubt that he would see this as nothing other than revenge. There would be a very real threat of retaliation against us. This just sucks!

As a BS myself, I would have kissed the ground someone walked on who had the courage to tell me about my wife's affair.

I have even exposed an affair I knew about to the poor BW I didn't even KNOW. She was VERY grateful to me for doing that.

No one ever regrets doing the right thing.

W2S - she is a victim of your wife's affair with her husband exactly the same as you are. I presume YOU would want to know if the tables were turned?

This woman has a RIGHT TO KNOW.

BK,

I'm not saying she doesn't have the right to know. The fact is SHE had all the same evidence I had and choose to turn a blind eye and marry him anyway. The actual A took place before they were married. Her choice to not question the nature of the relationship is not my problem. Protecting my children is. Yes there has only been one case of OP seeking revenge, but just last night I found a story on these boards where the OWH commited suicide infront of his W at the gate of her OM's workplace. It can and does happen.

Oh, trust me, he wouldn't beat him up...that's not the concern at ALL. The concern is in a one on one, my H would be the one to end up behind bars, if you know what I mean. And OM knows this very well. That's why it would NEVER be this type of confrontation...it would be a TEAM or ARMED effort...or worse.

I have told W2S I will support him with whatever decision he makes. And it is HIS decision, and OUR marriage. I told him it was futile to debate this here. While some will see where he is coming from, others are going to be absolutely unwavering, no matter what the cost to us. It's like the abortion issue...some see it as a right to choose, some see it as murder, plain and simple. There are no converted soldiers on these types of battle fields.

Well then what is your worry about it then?

BK-meaning she won't care or that she should already know...? Sorry, I'm dense.

Meaning if she already KNOWS in her heart why do you fear a reaction?

Sorry if I missed something, but how long have they been married? If there has been NC since the time she had the same information you had, I don't understand the point of exposing something that has been exposed. If the last contact he made was after that, or while he was married then it makes sense to consider it. I understand what BK is getting at, but only you know who you’re dealing with, and can gage the risk factor involved.

Is there some way to do this indirectly, where he wouldn’t suspect that the information came from you?