TMTS,

Thanks for chiming in on our discussion over on LaLa's thread. Sorry I haven't had much time to post to you lately, but I think you couldn't be in better hands than Mark, Mrs. W, Queenie, and my DW. I'm able to read a little from work, but I just don't want to make it a habit of posting too. I just wanted to let you know you are doing a great job and keep up the good work. Sorry you have to go back to work tomorrow. Luckily, I've still got one more night off. I'll try and go over what's taken place recently in your situation and see if I have any more advice to give you. Hang in there!

Want2Stay

Thanks for the note W2S.

You are right about the support; all the vets have been fantastic. I also have to thank you, your DW, Queenie, Serenity, Not2Fun, and Drowning Man for simply being there. (sorry if I missed anyone) The support here is the only thing that keeps me from loosing all hope.

Thanks for taking the time.

Next time you get out of line you just might get the loooooong version! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hey there,

I am truly touched you would worry about me. The OW in my life, is a grandmother. Heehee. Her 19 year old daughter has 3 kids.

She isn't in school, she stays at home all day long and takes care of you know who. I don't get the impression she even finished high school, but I really have no idea.

And to be honest, I don't give a hoot one whip if she or WH were on here. I have NOTHING to hide. THEY DO. EVERYTHING I have said about them is true.

My conscience is clear, not to mention, if she printed something out, I would ask her to bring it to the court so I could show the judge what life my WH is choosing to live. I can't imagine that would be very appealing.

Seriously, just you asking about me is something I won't ever forget and thank you from the bottom of my soul and heart. What an amazingly loving place this is for us. We are very blessed to have it.

TMTS- was sorry to hear about the mediator calling. How are you holding up? We're here for ya, buddy!

((((((TMTS))))))

I'm keeping it together, just waiting for the hammer to fall now. I don't know if she is going to try to call him back today or not, but there was no way I was giving him a time, that's for her to figure out. If she wants out of this M so bad then she can do the leg work to make it happen. Me I die a little bit more inside, but work the plan on the outside. I don't even want to look for any sign of hope, I just let be what will be. If she has a change of heart she knows where I stand and where to find me. It's just a dull empty feeling inside.

Thanks for checking in.

You betcha-she does all the work-no help from you. I think you did great with what you said to her. It was perfect and I am so proud of you! BTW-How did she respond to that?

She just gave me a blank stair and said ok. I didn't react at all just stared right back at her.

I don't know anymore Lala, it feels very futile. I'm with Queenie, just let go and move on. She's do deep in this fog that she drowning in it and it seems like there no way to get to her to save her from drowning.

See I'm not even making any sense anymore.

NO DESPAIR ALLOWED!!!!

Stick to the plan, tune her out.

BTW-has she moved out yet? Started packing? Hmmm?

She is blowing so much hot air she could travel by balloon.

Look at how far you've come in the past few weeks, TMTS. Go start reading and see where your mindset was at the beginning of this thread, and see where you are now. Worlds apart, major growth. You are already a success story to yourself, no matter what she does.

Stay in there TMTS. I'm having a horrible day and know how you're feeling, but you're doing a lot better at this than I am. I think you're gonna pull this off and end up with a success story. I have a good feeling about that. Remember, stop reacting to what she does.

I wish I could follow my own advice, but my WW isn't doing anything now and that's the problem. She's ignoring me!

That's the thing Lala, she isn't blowing any air. She going around living like all is normal and nothing is happening in front of me, but in the background the plan is in motion. I know where you’re getting at with the fact that she has not moved or started packing yet, but I think that just a function of the fact that the LSA is not set up yet. As soon as that’s done and she knows what her financial situation is I think we’ll see action then.

I work the plan and my game face is really good now so none of this is being shown to her. I wait on her hand and foot, especially when it comes to cooking and cleaning up, which she hates. Everything else is a bonus. I think it's just one of hose days, that's all.

I curl tonight, so I hope that will help work out some of the tension.

TMTS,

You're making a lot of sense...

You can't change her. You Plan A to get her to want to change, but even if she doesn't you are better for it, because it is really for you.

If she leaves, the fog will likely lift eventually and if you have made her memories of you as being safe, secure and loving (the reason for Plan A0 she will likely seek you out.

And THAT is why Plan B becomes necessary at some point, because if your love for her dies utterly and completely, you will then have no interest in taking her back.

And just so you know, many would have given up and decided to move on before they ever found MB.

So you are already ahead of the curve and have gone beyond what many might have done.

Mark

Yeah, I know whatcha mean, blow drying does that for me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Have you thought more about asking her to go shopping with you for home improvement stuff?

Mrs. W

Yep, I like that idea and I will see if she wants to go tomorrow (We both get home at about the same time). Hey ... I'll use the excuse of going to Lowes (The first Lowes in Canada opened about a month ago, and it's only about 20 mins away) I'll let you know how that goes.

Now my plan to handle her looking at stuff for the apartment is that as soon as I notice it I grab something, anything and make a comment on how it would look in the house. What do you think?

Yep, I like it!!! Even if you didn't laugh at my poor attempt at making fun of curling! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

That's how foggy I was when I originally read it.

Ok, I get it now. LOL - You'd best stay away from around here in the winter... I f get wind that you and Mr. w are heading this way during curling season... well, bring clean shoes. LOL

You want a good laugh about curling... when you buy shoes you got to specify if you want them left or right handed.
Think about that one...

LOL! This summer our dd8 wanted to help Mr. W with some yard work involving a shovel...Work, of course, that she wouldn't have been able to do...Anyway, he told her that he was sorry, that he would love her help except he only had a left handed shovel and since she was right handed it would never work...Our dd8 called her grandpa asking if she could borrow his right handed shovel...It was a GREAT laugh for all of us! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

ROTFLOMAO

I like that one. Poor kid....

BTW, that wasn't a joke... it's true, I have left handed shoes.

Gawd...See I told ya we oughta just nuke Canada! Foreigners! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You'd have to get Minnesota too, they have allot of curlers there too. LOL