Thanks, buddy! Make sure she sees that craft (but do not be the one who hands it to her). Might want to reach out to her a little bit and console her. ODD is a lot more vocal, so she will tell you what she needs, the younger one may just be internalizing everything, which is NOT GOOD.

I am going to try and get our pic up on the photo thread today. My parents wanted me to bring the boys down to see them, but the drive sounds like torture. Kinda sucks, cuz I'd love to get outa here for a while. W2S is working Tues-Sat this week, so I'm not looking forward to another night alone. Blah...

Anyways, take care. Make sure you throw in some stuff at Lowe's ASSUMING she will be staying, not going.

I love doing that because it makes her cringe. I shouldn't be enjoying that should I?

Yes the craft... I forgot to mention... It's in plain sight where she cannot miss it. YDD taped it above her bed! People do not give kids this age enough credit. I think she know exactly what message she is sending, but doing it in her own way. It's a reminder to WW every time she puts her to bed.

NICE! And yes-you should enjoy it (the cringe)! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like your night went fairly well, TMTS!! I'm glad!! Good for you for keeping up with plan A!!

My night went well also... I'm going to post how my night went on my thread in a second here. Just wanted to check in with you first!

Let us know how Lowes goes!

RIM

"My YDD is much more in a sad state but hides it allot better. I though she was doing not too bad until I saw a little craft that she made. At the top she’s got it titled, “Mommies moving” then below she taped a picture of WW, a note that says I love you Mommy, a second note that says Love M, and a frowning smiley with tear in it’s eyes. And she thinks that all will be fine!!!"

So sorry, this brought tears to my eyes.

One day believer all of this will come back to her and she will hurt... hurt more than we are now. I wish she could come out of this before she goes too far, because the rift she will create with our DDs will leave a mark that will never go away.

TMTS great job! Just a reminder, for what it's worth, haven't done this yet so I'm not an expert but reading about how good you are doing Plan A makes me think that when she does rear her ugly head or when she does say I've found a place or something about OM whatever... MAKE sure you don't over react!!! NO Love BUSTERS!!! pre-plan have something in mind... not to get you down, because it sounds like it's going great... just be prepared for bad or worse! Be PREPARED!!!!

Soon

Ok, new plans... this is getting better and better. Neighbor calls and needed our ODD to baby-sit for a few hours. She's gone to a friends place, so I ask WW if we could postpone Lowes to tomorrow morning and watch out little buddy. She says sure! So now she's gone to get some little snacks and we are going to build a gingerbread house... all 4 of us. Bonus. The ODD hair cut took longer than expected so my neighbors timing could not have been better. So now, plans for one day are being extended to the whole weekend. She is in a very good mood and is very comfortable right now. Reality will hit like a hammer!

Hi Soon,

Yep, thanks for the reminder. No LBs will be easy, the only one I'm worried about is move day itself. I don't think I'll be able to hold back the tears. (I'm getting tearring up just thinking about that one). But I've been getting myself mentally prepped for it. The LSA is like any contract negotiation, so I just need to put myself into that mode.

TMTS,

Take a bow yourself.....YEAH...Sounds like you are Plan Aing very well today, even when there is achange in plans. I guess it is YOUR turn to have some good things happen for you. Keep it up, and we better not see you too much on here, because that means you are not giving her enough of your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.....JK...

Keep us posted and I'm pulling for you...


not2fun

Ps...does this mean you haven't done my laundry yet????

Hi Not,

It's been a good day. Spent the day together, not many opportunities to squeeze in some ENs but together and nothing against the plan. She's gone out to with the neighbor to get milk and coffee. We had supper and watched night at the museum. When she gets back I'll be playing guitar hero and ask her to join in and have a little fun together.

Now the bad news (hopefully just some stinkin' thinkin') Last time she was this happy there was a message on her phone about getting an apartment. What came to mind is that OM is back in town and contacted her. But I have no evidence of it. You see I get caught up in those darn expectations too!!!

Oh well, nothing I can do about it, so I enjoy the happy alien and plan away.

She'll be back soon and I suspect she's going to go spend some time with the neighbor, but I'll get the guitar hero thing in first, if not when she gets back.

OT, but I absolutely LOVE Guitar Hero! That is so much fun. WW even likes to play it on occasion.

Hi 14,

I was looking at your photo again and could just shake my head. It unbelievable to me that they can look at the same picture and not think about what they are doing.

Hey, guitar hero is right on topic my friend. She has never played and ODD is not here tonight so I will teach her. It will be some good time together.

All the best to you.

P.S. It's hard to tell with the glasses, but I think our Ws even look alike.

Funny you should say that about the picture. We recently switched from a PC to a Mac (24"iMac), and today, I changed the desktop to that picture. No matter how ugly things may get, looking at pictures like that one always brighten my day. I wonder what WW thinks when she looks at pictures like that one. We also used that picture for our Christmas cards this year.

Have fun with GH. We just had our basement finished, so the gaming goes on down there. Last night, after the kids were in bed, I found myself playing. It is so freaking addictive, I could play until my eyeballs burn out of their sockets.

Have fun tonight with it!

We had a really good night together. After supper the neighbor came to pick up her DS but she had gone with WW to pick up a few groceries. When they got back she hung out with us for about an hour, and was telling us about her S father (They where never married), and how he is a father of convenience (See him when it's convenient). The best part is that you could read between the lines of what she was really saying... (Look at my Son's father who doesn't care, and you want to leave this man who will do anything for his kids and you... are you nuts), then we helped her bring her stuff home, and she made I was checking out her LCD TV, and she says in front of WW, "hey, you can get yourself on once your single". She's great...we came home and played Guitar Hero for almost two hours! We had a really good time, and when we finished... I went to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek but I think she was expecting a real kiss. So Plan A mission accomplished for today, and I have tomorrow set up to go to Lowes, curling then she said she wanted to play more guitar hero.

All this said... today comes down to no expectations... just run your plays.

She's gone to watch a movie with another neighbor who is in deep depression because her H is a real piece of work.

Sounds like mission accomplished - I'm glad everything went so well for you. Hopefully tomorrow is more of the same.

TMTS,
Glad to hear things are going so well for you. Keep up the good work. I know you're going to pull this off!


DM

Bravo TMTS..... You are my plan A hero

TMTS,

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Just checking in...from Mattoon Illinois no less...

Catch ya later. Maybe you can tell me how you became such a Plan A expert... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Mark

Hi Mark,

From the sage guidance of a few of my own heroes and one particular mentor who took me under his wing early on.

That being said I am nowhere near an expert, but I am trying to learn and adapt the main concept of the plan on a daily basis.

For me it came down to one main problem.... Reacting because of expectations from my plan a actions. Once you and other got me to understand this it was much smoother. I still have some trouble with some of the 'stick' part of plan A but all in all the main concept is there, no LB's meet ENs don't talk R, I do marriage mediator/lawyer does separation and the details of what you are doing in getting ready to separate are too painful so please spare me the details. Plan a for me has become a state of mind and this has helped me to (as Ark would say) be still. I do not react to things I cannot control (I come here and vent and or whine about them) but I front of WW it Mr. Cool as a curling cucumber.

This took some guidance, many 2x4's and a wise suggestion to call the Harley's because at the beginning I really did have a plan. I am still learning and adapting daily so I am far from being an expert, but I feel much better about what I am doing and why. At the end of all this, if WW does not decide to reconcile I will be a better man for having followed the advice of my friends and mentor, and be confident that I did all I could to save my M. If she decides not to reconcile I know deep down that the loss will be hers because I will make it with or without her. I am also confident that should this end up in D, I will find someone else to share my love with and this person will be lucky because they will have someone who has learned how to nurture a relationship, and that is all thanks to the MB principals.

This mentor has also helped me discover something of even higher importance... my faith in God. (Almost done genesis)

Mark I will always be in your debt as you have been a guiding light for me in more ways than one. I would also like to thank all those who were kind enough to jump in with advice (Mr. & Mrs. W, believer, BK, JT, MIMI, PM, jamesus, LG and others)and all the friends that have been there moral support (Queenie, Lala, W2S, not, soon, RIm, DM, 14, Try) Thanks too all.

The mediator called this morning and we are set up to meet with him on Thursday, There will be a real test of Plan A.
She still acts like we're buddies so this will be my opportunity to bring up our future relationship as co-parents and nothing more. See Mark, still learning...
We're set up for Lowes this afternoon; she actually asked if we were still going.

Not - I'm doing this weeks laundry and you stuff has yet to arrive... what gives?