Is your F good friends with him where he will HELP you?

I don't know that he can go that far because of the possible legal ramifications. But he has talked to me much more than to my WW. So he may not be in a position to advise, but I do now understand that he is a facilitator of a negotiated agreement. If there is anything that I do not support, I don't sign, and if we cannot come to a negotiated settlement then we bring it to the courts. There is no benefit for her to do this because it will just take money out of both of our pockets.

TMTS, There is NO benefit to them DOING ANY OF THIS. But they aren't THINKING. The are ALIENS WHO JUST EXIST.

I'm thinking about ya and sending positive thoughts and prayers...

TMTS,
I'm wishing you all the best today. I haven't had much time to post lately, but we're all here. It sounds like it'll work in your favor. Let us know!

DM

Please say a prayer for me folks, he'll be here any second now and we are both vernous about this.

I'll be back later with a run down on how it went.

THANKS YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!

It's time.... You are there and I am praying and thinking about you.

Let us know how it goes.

Hope all is going well...

RIM

TMTS, I'm right there with you...

Hang in there!!!

L2F

Hi guys,

The first mediation meeting went well, and she's not looking to milk me for everything but I'm a crying mess right now. I think it's the combo of the Plan last weekend and the stress of getting prepared for this than the reality of it tonight. I was fine during the whole thing then the reality of loosing my W set in when I went to get changed. Unfortunately she came upstairs and saw me. She told me not to worry that she was not interested in taking away the house or the kids from me and that we could work something out that she could live with even if it meant that we didn't do a 50/50 split of assets and made spousal support really low if none. I told that that wasn't what I was upset about. She asks me what then, so stupid me I told her. I was upset about loosing her, that I loved her and that the whole process was becoming all too real. She looked upset at the fact I was teary eyed, but that was it.

So now we need to figure out a bunch of stuff before we can move on to getting a draft agreement. She seems relieved with the whole thing. She looked like I could see dollar sighs pop into her head. I had to hold myself back at one point when he asked if we would still separate if we won the lotteries tomorrow, I didn't say a word, and after a pause my WW said yes. So it wasn't a money issue he said... she answered no, and that's where I had to stop my self from making a major DJ. I looked at the top of my notes where I had drawn a little stick picture of W2S holding pom poms. It really helped, when I saw I was loosing focus, I looked at that and I was ok again. As far as Plan a during the meeting I did very well. No AO, DJ nothing, very cordial and nice. She looked upset at the fact that I was upset, because when she asked me why I was upset I told her that I still loved her and that this whole process was difficult for my heart to deal with.

So that's the story. She went over to the neighbors house probably to call the OM, or to just have someone to talk to I don't know. But in terms of affecting her in any way, I don’t think it did.

I'll be fine in 10 mins or so, I just needed to let some of it out. I just wish I had locked the bedroom door so she did see me in my moment of weakness. All the memories of the last few months just came back in a wave so I'm letting her all go. (The screens pretty blurry right now).

Thanks for your prayers and support through this. The actual meeting was not as hard as I thought.

TMTS,

There is nothing wrong with showing her that you are not ok with the whole process. Steve Harley told me that she needs to know this is affecting you. If she thinks you don't care then how is that good?

Just don't keep telling her. I think it was good she saw what she saw. Its the reality of the situation. She is ripping your family apart and its not suppose to affect you? That is not a LB.

Goodluck

Whew. I was starting to worry about you. Sounds like you did just fine. Relax and pat yourself on the back.

TMTS,

MFIL just said it quite well. You are unhappy that your family is being torn apart. That is the reason for your sadness and that is OK to express to her. It isn't just her you are losing, it is your family...Make it all about the family when discussing it with her.

Nio, I don't mean you need to try to educate her and convince her this is wrong. You already know that isn't what I meant, but I had to say it anyway.

We're still here for you, TMTS.

I know this has to suck...

wish I had some magic words to make it better, but I'm afraid not...

Mark

Yes you did do GREAT...and W2S will be happy to know he could help. It's the strangest thing...he said to me "I just wanted to give him that image in his head so he could focus on that if things got rough during the meeting." He will be (or is-Lurky Lurkerton--GET TO WORK) very happy that he could help you through it in any way. I wish we could be there for you and give you a big hug, so...


((((((((((((((((TMTS)))))))))))))))))

And I absolutely agree, I am VERY glad she saw what she did. You have been a rock and I think she needed a glimpse of what your heart is going through. Like MFIL said, just as long as you don't go on and on about it...and it may be why she ran away tonight. Couldn't face her reality..? Speculation, of course-we all know waywards don't do things like a logical person would, so who knows!

Hang in there, buddy...you have a lot of support here!

Hi folks,

I feel better after getting that out. It did go pretty smooth. She cam back and asked me how I was, so it got to her. (Nice to know she's not completely heartless).
So new we have some things to figure out. And get answers to the mediator.

Thanks for all your support!!!

I did handle the crying part pretty, good. I told her I was sorry.

WW - What for.
Me- For getting like this.
WW - you have nothing to be sorry about. Don’t worry I'm not going to do anything that will mean you loose the house or the kids.
Me - That's not what I'm upset about.
WW - Are you upset about us?
Me- Yes, I still love you and I'm upset about loosing you... I'll be ok.

Then I left the room and looked back at her as I was going down the stairs. I could tell that this got to her. I came down here, not one more word. Nest thing you know she went over to the neighbors for about half hour.

She was pretty interested in keeping the LSA as a temporary, even though money wise she would get less down the road. I don't know if she's sure about this. So let's see how things go in the next little while, she's still here so I keep going with the plan.

(((((((TMTS))))))

You are so brave and strong...One day you will come back here and read your posts, and realize that you were INDEED stronger than you thought. It sounds like it went well, and heck, your Plan A is working. It may not go the way you want, but the changes in you have been remarkable. You have been my strongest encourager on here, and made me feel better when I have been so down. That my dear makes you a great friend and ally. So you have learned to be broken and to help heal those that are broken. I am so glad it went well, and st least you know what to expect at the next meeting. Hopefully, WS will begin to see the big picture by then.

Just keep on sticking to your guns and what you know, and that if nothing God will never fail you.....

not2fun

P.S. I hope this meeting didn't keep you from getting my laundry done....not

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's you and my other friends here that keep me going. without all of you I don't know how I would handle any of this.

hugs from my munchkin

Thanks LH4, and baby4