Thanks for your support. To me it's reality check time and gut check time. This has been a reality for me for a while now where for her it's time to put up or shut up. So it will be the first real test where what is happening is not part of the fantasy. The other thing is that I've got an excellent support system... she's got the alcoholic newfie next door, so I think I’ve got a little advantage there.

TMTS,

You've got mail...

Mark

cheering on your great work.... i wish i had your outward strenght.... i am trying my best to get some..... hehe hopefully today will be better

Hey TMTS..

I know I am having another rotten day, but just wanted to say I'll be praying for you tomorrow. I know it will be rough, but remember all that you have learned here, and when in doubt put on you VERY BESTEST poker face.

Maybe you will get lucky and she will walk away from the meeting having had reality deal a harsh smack in the face. So be prepared if that happens. You'll want to control all LB's during that time if nothing else. Be strong and couragous...because I know that you are. God will lead you and be there even if it feels like no one else is....

Take care and thanks for being there....

not2fun

Not2fun,
I'm sorry you are having a rotten day. Those are so hard. I will put you in my prayers tonight and hope you get a restful nights sleep.

TMTS,

I miss you sir. We haven't talked all week long. I have been really busy with stuff and in a bad way and just keeping close to the chest.

I am praying for you about tomorrow, please let us know how you are doing. You helped me so much those days during the holidays. I will NEVER forgot how you stuck with me on here. Thank you and I am truly here for you.

Queenie

TMTS,

Hey buddy! I just wanted to drop by and wish you the best of luck today. Remember all the great advice you have been given here. Get your game face on and don't let them bait you into anything you do not want. Give us an update as soon as you can. We'll all be here cheering you on!

Want2Stay

p.s. When something comes up that bothers you, just imagine me here jumping up and down with pom poms! Go TMTS! Go TMTS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks W2S,

The nervousness is stabilizing. As much as I dread this, I am glad that the smoke and mirror show is coming to and end and the curtain to the real production is about to be drawn. No more hiding what her true intentions are and having to really face the reality of what she is doing. I will know exactly where she stands in term of preparation as well. If she does have a lawyer retained (Which will gain some respect for her in my eye) then I will know that she is more prepared than I thought. I would be surprised though, she has been too preoccupied with finding a place (Of which we have conflicting information on if she does have one or not). She is nervous, I can tell because last night she got home, (I had supper ready for her) had a nap, then went over to the neighbors until 2 in the morning. One factor of the plan which is not discussed is that now that she sees that I will be just fine with or without her, the guilt is not as strong and her mind can focus more on her own fears of making a mistake.
On the other side of the coin is my own gut check. Where am I with my willingness? Am I still willing to go through with this? Is it worth holding onto someone who would be so disrespectful and cause so much pain?
I feel like a boxer getting his title shot who's trained his butt off for three months coming up ageist a champion who became complacent because they thought they had it all figured out.

I will update on how it went.



Two things about this... I hope you're going to shave you're legs first. LOL
Wish me luck explaining when I start laughing for no apparent reason in the middle of this meeting.

Good luck today. Remain calm and reasonable and pleasant.

Think of us as being there cheering you on. Prayers going up for you.

Ok, someone hit me if I am wrong. I don't see ANYTHING she CAN DO as being respectful, so therefore she can't GAIN any. Besides, you are in a war..... DON'T GIVE HER ANYTHING that hurts you.

It's just one more piece of action that you might not have expected is all.

And the ANSWER IS?

You don't need wishes for luck, you have BLESSINGS FROM G-D because you are a man of him now and you are doing his work by fighting for your M and family.

Before you walk inside there, take a few minutes and just talk to G-d, lay it out for him and ask him for help. Calm heart, clear mind and soft tongue or a tongue that comes from him. You WILL BE AWESOME. G-d and everyone else is right there.

Oh you might ask for an auditorium with all the people who are pulling for you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What I'm getting at is that anything remotely administrative (legal,insurance,tax) she would avoid at all cost, so I would be impressed if she did seek counsel, because this is something that would have been left up for me to take care of. The repespect would solely comefrom the fact that she is taking some action.

You sir, have a warped mind. LOL

I almost get it....

We had a setup where she would do the day to day banking under the understanding that she trusted me completely when it came to investing, insurance and taxes. So one of the boundaries is that I no longer am her counsel when it comes to these matters, which leaves her in a position to figure it our herself or get counsel somewhere else. She would gain some respect from me by realizing that she has want too much on her platter and that seeking a professional would be best.

I just got off the phone with the mediator. I feel so much more confident and focused now that I have a better idea of the process. Tonight is the biggy!!! He asks all the questions that will make it all too real. We supply him with the needed information and he makes a draft. I get the draft consult with my lawyer and take it from there.
Remember the divorce thing... I won't need to bring in up because he will. As part of the questions he asks one of them is if there has been adultery, which then brings him to point out that in that case I can opt. to go straight to divorce.
She is scared, because she mentioned to him that she wanted a temporary LSA, so that tells me that she is still unsure about what she wants to do. Reality strikes tonight!!! I just wish I could get the image of W2S in a cheerleader outfit with pom-poms. LOL

Remind me again why you are so talkative with the mediator. Who got him?

My mind has disappeared today. Are you doing all the work for this as a matter of precaution to make sure you come out of this ok?

A little TJ, I just saw a picture of me about 6 or 7 years ago. I WAS SO FAT. There is NO WAY you can't see the difference. NO WAY. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

He is a friend of my F. See I'm staying just one step ahead of her on these things just for the reason you mentioned. The courts here are not nice to fathers and you are right in stating that this is precautionary. When she first mentioned this, she was thinking lawyer all the way, I need to avoid court at all cost because I would most likely be forced to move and custody would be a crap shoot. So when she mentioned L, I stated talking to my F who told me about this guy. Look at it this way, by taking the reins on this I bought myself a month so far, because it's taken this long for her to get it set up, and after talking to him, were are looking at least two weeks just for the work he needs to do, and that doesn't take into account my stalling tactics (consulting lawyer, hard time finding some of the information, too busy at work to get to that, etc.)

You are amazing. Tell your F thank you for having friends in places.

How did your F meet him?

Even though I am going thru a rough time right now too-- I haven't forgotten that today is mediation day. What time are you going?

Good luck (or whatever you say that is appropriate?? I don't even know! Break a leg?? Go get em'?? I guess nothing is really "appropriate" for this!).

You will be in my thoughts. I really hope that this is a reality smack for your WW.

RIM

tmts-

Good luck today!

Good luck tonight know i and my DD are cheering you right on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good luck from the cheerleader's wife (yikes)!

They've been members of the French Canadian Club in my F's town for years.