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TMTS,

I haven't followed your whole thread, but have read the happenings of the last few days.

I do have a fair warning for you from a FWW pov.

She will probably be hurt and angry, but she isn't going to tell you why. Hold on tight because she might start out by taking it out on you.

You may have already considered this, but I did want to put it out here in case you didn't.

LC





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Oh I'm ready for it, like Mark says the trick is going to be keeping my poker face on. I feel like I've been dealt a pair of aces. I've been following 14s thread so I'm prepared for that kind of reaction from her. Comforting and sweet that's the goal.

Mark - This could be a weekend of a few LVs. I just got to stay cool.

Breathing exercises are what I need right now Queenie, I feel like running a marathon; I need to get very still in the next couple of hours. I'll call her at home to let her know my progress here so that will be the start.


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Pray to G-d for a calm heart, clear mind and soft tongue....

Let him do the work for you.... just be still... and have FAITH in G-d. He will take care of you...


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Ditto, TMTS...you know nothing. Or you can kiss that spy good-bye! She won't trust eirther of you (oh, the irony) for a long time! DO NOT let her get it out of you that you know anything.

Good deal...anxiously awaiting her reaction. Mark is right though, this is a PRIMO opportunity.

About the single life stuff, wait till the Plan B letter. She is with you now, and even if/when she moves out, she will be too busy getting herself settled b4 the PBL comes to do any serious straying anyways...HUGE LB right now!


Peace,
LaLa

FWW(me) 37
BS 38
DS 9 & 5
PA 7/06-8/06
Dday 2/17/07

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TMTS,

Advice??? you don't need advice, you just need some sideling cheerleading... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />...This is a good developement...too bad I won't be around for the popcorn and margaritas....lol. I got plans...lol

I'm looking smoking hot tonight waiting for WS to pick up the kiddies. Just got my hair done and everything is good to go...now if he knew I was this dressed up just to go to dinner with a friend and back to her house to watch a movie, he probably die laughing, but hey a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do.

I check up on ya later...remember what I did last night.....repeat,"Be still and NO expectations"..

not2fun

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Just a point of order here...

Plan B isn't about being single. It isn't anything like being single. It is simply giving the A enough time to die of it's own accord so that the marriage might still be salvaged.

You wanna be single? It isn't Plan B but Plan D. File it; do it; get it over with and move on.

You want to do Plan B? Live as if you will end up back together yet... But with no drama, no snooping, no wondering what time the WS might grace you with his/her presence...

LSA and Divorced are NOT equivalents. LSA is NOT single. It is simply living apart.

Suppose you found someone else by acting single and began a relationship with that person...and then WS calls and shows true remorse and says, "I wanna come home..." Do you tell WS "Too bad, so sad" and shack up with the new one?" Or do you tell the new person that just invested their life in you that your REAL sweetie is coming home and he/she needs to go away?

Time in Plan B should be used to get your own life while keeping the door unlocked., not wide open as in Plan A, just not nailed shut. You live as if single but celibate. (Just in case) That is why you only do it for a couple of years and then drop into Plan D.

Have fun with friends; live your own life; get over the pain and heal yourself. If you're done, file and be done. Plan B is the fall back waiting game when you just can't Plan A anymore.

TMTS, this isn't necessarily directed at you, or anyone in particular for that matter, but lurkers might misunderstand what we mean and THAT is why I ranted so verbosely about it.

Besides, I'm always verbose about everything...

Mark

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Not2,

You go girl!

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Mark and everyone else,

I did want to let you know that if he were to ask, I would tell him what I was doing.....don't want to send out the wrong signal to him or to anyone else for that matter....

not2fun

ps..he didn't care for the outfit.....I'll have to keep that in mind...oh well, better luck on sunday...

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Mark - great sanity check on purposes of Plan B

TMTS -

Just popping in - wow. this week is a roller coaster. To answer your question - Leafs vs Habs. Answer is Wings. I am a NHL baby - family members have been players, coach and etc. & the excitement and atmosphere of the Joe is hard to beat. Pro sports is all I have known until I moved to Texas. Have a story that I will write one day re: wayward fog babble and hockey. Enough about me.

On your situation - This is a great opportunity to have your WW see the true OM. (edit - read the post again ).

Her reaction will be telling and hopefully you will be provided some feedback on the results of the showing.

Keep the mantra going even when you are in the lows of this ride. There seems to be a lot WW conflict - keep the Plan A going and make it strong this weekend.

Will pray for your WW rock bottom realization soon.

I think you are doing a great job - not sure my emotions could handle it.

Last edited by rwinger; 01/25/08 08:40 PM.

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Did you use my sugestion from yesterday to accentuate his preference?


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wow tmts... did you see you just made it to 1000 posts, what a jabber jaws!!


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O.k., I've had dinner now and am ready for the show.

Wuz up...have ya heard anything yet?

Quote
But if you have a camera you can hide somewhere, I'd love to see the pictures of her reaction...


Wouldn't that be a hoot. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I like the way you think. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.



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No word yet mopey. I just got home. she's over at the neighbors place right now. No idea what to expect, she might just rationalize it as he did it to keep people from asking questions, or something like that. I don't think I'll be able to sleep much tonight so I'll try to come on and update as I get info. If you guys don't see me later then say a prayer becasue it could be good or bad.


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10-4 mate.

I'm kinda guessing that your WW won't want to show you if she is upset about this. She may be embarassed and doesn't want you to know.

We'll probably have to get the intel from the neighbor.

Now, did you set up a camera! I never was one for movies with subtitles. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.



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ROFL, you are just too funny. But I can also do French subtitles if you prefer madame. I figure she'll stay there until she thinks I'm in bed. She knows I got to go in for inventory tomorrow and I usually get there early to get stuff preped.. that and I got to pick up donuts for the guys.


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TMTS...

This is like a soap opera....do you need me to send you some of my Zanax??? My nerves would be through the roof...lol

keep us posted....

not2fun

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Naw, I'm cool as a cucumber right now. getting my poker face ready. I've called her bluff by going all in and she thinks I got a crapy hand....

I'd love to be a fly on that wall right now though.

Last edited by toomuchtosoon; 01/25/08 09:25 PM.
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Hey TMTS,
I just got caught up! Sounds like a huge turning point. Just watch out if/when she goes through WD. Thats when my WW's head spun around and she turned on me. I don't think you're in the same sitch though. This looks good. Good luck and keep us posted.


DM


BH- 33
WW- 31
DDay- 6/07
Separated
A ended 10/07
A2 - WW dated OM2 12/07 - 2/08
Agreed to R 2/08, but WW not serious.
6/08 - ILYBINILWY - No longer wants R.
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I don't speak french. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

In the meantime, here's a movie we can watch.....this is what happens on d-day when you go straight to plan FU.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



Heeheehee....


Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.



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She just came back from the other neighbors place to get a drink. And either she knows already, the neighbour misread what the deal is or she has a really good poker face. No reaction or nothing. I don't know, I'll get a better idea when I speak with the neighbor. She's had a few drinks so that may have calmed her down. I have no idea as she was absolutely normal. The neighbor works early so I don’t want to wake her, but I hope I can talk to her tomorrow. I guess it’s possible that something happened that she didn’t show it to her. I don’t know. Oh well, It was a crap shoot anyway. Sorry I couldn't give better news, but I couldn't get a read on her. I don't think she knows, or she doesn't buy it.

Last edited by toomuchtosoon; 01/25/08 10:48 PM.

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