LOL yeah i hear about the dust collectors... wish my WH would have taken his computer stuff out but that is all around collecting dust...... he left ALOT of his stuff in our house.... so don't worry about that. i think they leave stuff behind to have a reason to stop by or something i dunno.

I KNOW this so well.

I REALLY need the vets to chime in here, but why are you talking about this? She shouldn't get to bring anything IMHO. When I moved out of our home, I took ALMOST EVERYTHING. I LET HIM HAVE WHAT I DIDN'T WANT.

Anyone else have a feeling about this?

This was Mimi so hard at work on me for this. We DON'T know what they are thinking. They are SICK, ICKY... and their thoughts are not our CONCERN. All they care about is getting that next FIX. So much harder said than done. I truly understand. But who knows what goes on in that addicted brain of destruction.

BE STILL...

LET G-D DO WHAT HE IS DOING..

STAY CLEAR....

FOCUS ON YOUR PLAN, FOR YOURSELF...

BE STILL.

TRUST THAT G-D WILL GIVE YOU GUIDANCE WHEN HE WANTS TO...

BE STILL.....

PRAY.... AND GET US ALL TOO AS WELL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I just got a phone call from my Neighbor who is part of my snooping team. I had mentioned that this guy was on face book. So she tells me that she got fed up with this guy stringing her along and that he was playing a game that was breaking up a family. So her intention was to see if she could get him to flirt with her and start posting the same kind of stuff he had with my W. Well what she saw caused her to call me right away. Right there on his face book page it says that he is in a relationship with another girl and has a picture of her up beside him!

She wants to call her over, and tell her that she didn't trust him so she would snoop and found this info. I know getting others involved is usually a no no, but this is the only person that she has confided in and will listen to. She is planning on calling her over as soon as she gets home from work (I will not be around due to a late night for inventory). If anybody thinks this is a bad idea please let me know urgently.

The other thing she warned me about was this idea she had that if it didn't work out with OM that she would do the single lift thing. This to me is a deal breaker and even I will not accept her back if she thinks she's going to sleep around and come back when she gets her fill. How do I bring this up in a sensitive manner?

I'm shaking right now! I know I shouldn't have any expectations but this is big!

I don't think it is a bad idea TMTS... its just showing your W the TRUTH... I wouldn't push the issue or let the neighbor get any further involved, but I think letting the neighbor show your wife the facebook page isn't bad. She needs to know the truth...

And about the second part.. I wouldn't bring that up for now (the single part). That is part of the plan B-- NOT plan A. Leave it be for now, that's not imminent. We don't want to push too much at once and make WW feel backed into a corner...

My vote is to go for it. But-- don't set this up as an "I told you so!" exercise. Waywards don't like to be "proven" wrong (even though we are a lot... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)-- and if you try to, then we just come up with more excuses and justifications. So, just lay the truth out there, plain and simple, and walk away. No "I told you so's" or anything that would imply that.

Let us know how it goes...

RIM

Oh boy. I'm waiting with you for the words of the wise to come in.

By all means, she needs to see it but.....keep it low key and have no expectations. Don't have any conversations about it after she knows. Have no expectations.

I know nothing of any of this information in her eyes. I go home and run Plan a like nothing happened. (I feel like that NFL coach that got caught filming the other teams plays). So we see how this pans out. I've got to BE STILL!!!

I agree with everyone else. Let the neighbor show your WW what a loser the OM is and then let the lovebusting begin between loser and WW.

I'm gonna pop some pop corn for this one.

OOOHHH!! Mopey's bringing the popcorn... I've got the margaritas!!!

This is gonna be FUUUNN!!!

RIM

Mopey, you're too funny.

that is the plan, she drops this info on her and watches the show begin. Me I know nothing, Plan a as ususal.

And let G-d have her to do his work in her.

I want lots of salt with my margarita

And I'll bring the duck farts! LOL

I realize I'm probably too late to chime in here but having the neighbor do this is a GREAT idea (as opposed to you). I made the mistake of showing my FWH what I found out about his OW#1 and her legal issues (including emergency motions to have her evaluated psychologically, removing the children from her home ASAP, drunken episodes affidavits and much much more). I thought it would be an Ah-ha! moment for him. Wrong! He just defended her and said that there are always two sides to a story. It backfired on me, big time.

Have the neighbor tell her what? I'm just going to go home have a shower, go to bed and come back to finish inventory tomrrow. Nothing has changed...

EXACTLY!

It's not too late for anything PM. She doesn't get home for an other hour to hour and a half.

wow i would love to be in your position....LOVE to be in your position. wish my WH OW found a new man.... but nope my husband is her mystery man... at least that's what she calls him... although it's not too much of a mystery any more. everyone knows.

TMTS,

Let the neighbor do the dirty work. You stay in your plan and do nothing to give up your neighbor as a source. Be very careful to not smile if WW comes home and throws a hissy fit. Do NO give up your source of intell or be ready to write it off forever.

But if you have a camera you can hide somewhere, I'd love to see the pictures of her reaction...

And as much as the thought sucks, be ready to comfort her till she gets over the shock and gets done with withdrawal. That will be your best Plan A work yet.

It's totally out of character for any reasonable person to expect to be able to do this, to comfort the person who has hurt them so much and especially when it comes to doing it because of the loss to them of what caused them to do that hurting in the first place. But if you can pull it off, it will say more to her than all the words you could ever dream up. Think OPPORTUNITY here, 'K?

But if you get pix, share 'em with me...

Cowboy up!

Mark

I am SO there with you on this thought.

WH's OW is living off of WH for free and working no job. I can't imagine she would EVER leave that. She has it MADE, but guess what, I am going to really look into the most amount of money I can get and make that really hard on them.

Wish me luck.

How are you doing TMTS