Son-of-a-biscuit-eater! I was hoping for some good news!

To be continued. Man, I hate it when that happens. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh I know. I just hope that something happened that she couln't show her, or she got scared and did want to tell her like this, or didn't want to get this involved. I fear that she did tell her and WW didn't care.

Oh she cared if she saw it. Unless she's not attached to the OM anymore.

Maybe WW has a poker face too. WW wouldn't want you to know if she is upset. You might start asking questions if she looked upset. She wouldn't want to discuss it.

Did the neighbor seem happy to help you?

Yes, she's always been very nice with me, I’m like the neighborhood Dad around here. I'm more a dad to her little guy than his Father is. I baby-sit him once in a while and my YDD loves having him over to play. He's the cutest little thing alive. Her and our other neighbor still shake their heads at why she is doing this because the one that's helping me today is a single Mom and knows how tough it can be and the others common law husband treats her like a slave. It is possible that she just got nervous about causing trouble, or you may be right, this is poker face, and in her mind she only has to sustain it for a week. I really don't have a clue.

Hmmm, her non-reaction or poker face (if the neighbor came through) makes me think she already knows all about the OM's OW (yuck!) and that's why she's so determined to move out. I would think that she would be spying on HIM to see what he's been up to. Because after all, isn't their AFFAIRSHIP based on trust?

She may be thinking that if she becomes "really" available, then OM may quit "just trying to make her jealous" with this new person or that she can convince him they were meant to be.

That may be why the poker face because otherwise if she's so invested with this OM and throwing her life away for him, it seems like she'd be way upset with news like this. I would think you'd be seeing signs of distress.

The reality may be that OM HAS moved on and your wife just hasn't GOT IT yet. She may be in for a rude awakening if she actually goes through with this move and finds herself completely alone with the reality of what she's done crashing down on her when she lays her head down at night. And now here's her H who is totally confusing her with all his PLAN A moves. Why isn't he being mean to me?

All speculation I know but just another viewpoint.

edited for grammar

Whatever is going on, it has to be nothing but good. Just the fact that the OM has someone else is promising.

Don't expect your wife to let you in on what she is thinking.

Hi Pm, yes I had thought of this posibility as well, that he's playing hard to get and who know he may have told her straight out to call him once she's left. I hope that the neighbour just pulled back trying not to stir the kettle. I'll know more when I talk to her. She would not want to be seen as a bad guy to anybody in this, so it is very much posible.

Man, there's nothing like "going through" infidelity for you to get rid of that "nervousness about causing trouble".

I would rat out anyone that was being unfaithful now.

I guess we'll find out the real scoop when you get a chance to talk to the neighbor.

Try not to analyze the wayward mind. It doesn't make sense so they won't make sense. It boils down to their maturity level and value system. Right now, WW is low on both. When the fog lifts, she'll need to sort that out.

Just sit back and relax, it'll all play out like the rest of the movies I've seen here.

Beleiver, PM I saw both your picture in the album, and your smile fit the personalities that come out here. It is great to put a face to all this. I can see you speaking to me.

The neighbour was originally hoping that I was going to get home before WW so that I could go over and see what she saw. And I guess it is still posible that she may want to do that first. Beleiver, I turst your instincts, and hope you're right on this one.
Now I know it has been deeemd as fog babble, but she has told me since the discovery of the EA with this guy last summer that she had feelings of missing out on dating because we got together as teens (me- 19, her 17).It didn't help that our MC/IC supported this train of thought.
I had not found MB yet so I had no idea how to counter this. So this id where the idea of telling her that this is a deal breaker for any chance of reconciliation. I do understand that this may be best told as part of a Plan B letter.

thanks for being there ladies, I was running our inventory today after hardly getting any sleep, so were looking at a 15hr work day, little sleep, going on the extream high of the news about the OM, then seeing the poker face. I'm not really down, just drained, but the mind just will not stop. If she wanted out so bad, she should have just had me killed, then at least I would be at peace.

Now THAT is STINKIN THINKIN! You will be and are becoming a better man through all this heartache and the lessons you are learning today will be invaluable to you for the rest of your life (or someone else who may happen to cross your path who is hurting and in pain in the future.)

You're going to be just fine. I believe that with all my heart.

((Giving TMTS a sisterly hug))

Yeah, it all sucks but you have learned TONS about relationships now.

I hope you can sleep tonight. Last night I prayed and asked God to help me go to sleep and I think I fell asleep before I said "amen".

How are we going to get it to sink into you to have zero expectations?

Believer... Ok, that did it, I'm laughing my head off now. Yep I didn't even catch it. Maybe it's the Canadian cold.
I know it, I practice it, and then I get stupid and start thinking about it then bang, expectation. Until one of you snap me out of it. Wait until Mark gets a hold of this.

Ok... Time to re-focus.
Talk to neighbour to get a look at this face book page. I'm with you there believer, doesn't matter what she shows me. If I see what I expect, it's good. Now from all accounts she has had very little contact with him, and the contact she has had has been because she called there and he forgot to screen his calls. So if she already suspected that his is the case the initial reaction would be easier to control, hence the poker face.
Oh another thing... she tries to poker face the neighbor. Remember the chocolates with the miss you note. She told the neighbor about it and told it was nice and that she had said thanks, but the neighbor asked her if it made her feel warm inside, which she answered no, but neighbor called bullchit on her and told her that she may say that it didn't but her body language gave her away.

Now I got a question... She's planning her move for next Saturday (Feb. 2) on her birthday. I'm trying to figure out what kind of present would be best. People have mentioned something for her apartment, but I feel like that would be and acknowledgement of acceptance, so I was thinking something more personal like a spa visit. Any ideas?

Nothing for her apartment. That is enabling.

Do you think she'd go on a weekend trip with you?

Unfortunatly not. She has been sleeping in a different bed since Dec.9. I got it... She has been talking about getting her hair colored at the stylists for a while now, but always end up getting a home kit. that might work

Perfect. A gift certificate to the salon she wants to go to. It is personal because you know that she wants to do that. The personal gifts are THE BEST. Things that only you would know to get her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'll be amazed if she moves. But we will see.

Hey TMTS,

I'm checking in on you. Are you still up?