Processing ......Processing.......

Can that work ?

Does he have enough good will (love bank balance) with his WW with this stellar Plan A to make his stand tonight and/or tmrw?

Or will he have to endure a re-ignition of the A. I guess it comes down to its her choice anyway - this sucks.

I am afraid its out of my league. TMTS - as I mentioned I come from an NHL family - needless to say - I may not be best advsr here.

Didnt see MIM post - dang good. Resonance - thats good too. I think I will just lurk a while.

PS-If you don't have the GF's number, it will have to be done by email. It would be tougher, but it can still be pulled off. I think in that scenario, maybe have the subject say "OM is cheating on you-I have proof" and then when she opens the email, your N puts her name and number for GF to call. It is important that you know her reaction, so that's why I would say she should call your N. If you don't think this will work, just have N use the same tag line and in the body, say the things I said above, and give address and directions to the apartment. If this is the case, you have to stay out of it completely. You just could not know the timing unless you are spying...

I tend to think leaving it alone for now is the better option. Here is why. Right now TMTS's WW sees him as the wall between her and the OM. Therefore, she uses TMTS as the excuse that OM isn't availabe as much. Trust me. Once she is on her own, her expectations concerning OM's behavior will increase dramatically. She'll expect her fantasy to become reality. If he is busy juggling, he won't have the time for her that she is surely expecting. She learns on her own about OM, and TMTS isn't a part of that issue in her mind. She can't blame HIM for the crumbling of the A, her fantasy bubble is burst by OM. But that is just my opinion.

LaLa's idea is as good as any.

None of this [censored] is working out when the variables are factored in.

TMTS, You might just have to go with your gut an this and live with what happens in the way of fallout, which you can rest assured will be of the nuclear variety.

Speak to me, Dude! Whatchya thinkin'?

TMTS,

This is absolutely bringing tears and warmth to my heart. Wow, you have grown so much and learned so much.

Your PLAN A is the total success because of these words. Enjoy this accomplishment, you deserve it dude.

it would be easier if N had GF phone number? email or facebook may not be accessed in time

That was my thought. My other thought is to have the N tell TMTS's W tonight that the GF is preggers with OMs child. Also that the person who gave her this info plans on telling the GF about his plans on showing up at her apt tomorrow. N could say something like- boy I sure hope it doesn't get ugly for you there tomorrow. Apparently, he plans on playing you both even though he is living with her and she is preganat. Nice guy!

And then just leave it alone...have N email the GF tonight or tomorrow.

Then you stay out of it...just another scenario!

hmmm very clever - only a woman could have thought of that. that is very good

btw - a compliment and not a dj.

LaLa,

That one might be the best bet so far. I dunno, and curling boy is out enjoying himself while we're here worrying ourselves sick over him... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mark

No kidding, Marky! Thanks rwinger (I think)! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I'm just looking for way to accomplish everything without it blowing up in his face. We want to accomplish: GF exposure, keep OM away from WW for good (which is probably not possible, in which case it is better to let her fall into her own pile of doo-doo and come crawling back to TMTS) AND keep TMTS from being the bad guy.

I am thinking trying to impart this knowledge will give WW and OM ammo. WW will use it to blame TMTS, as others have said, and OM will turn it around for sure. What a bad husband she has, making up such BS (not the abbreviation for betrayed spouse)and isn't it great that we have each other now...blah blah. And will FORCE OM to up the ante. He will have to come up with something good to hide his lies, but it sounds like he is well capable.

So in the light of this, I don't know the correct path, she WILL find out the truth, but maybe it is better to find it out on her own. On the other hand, who would willingly let this play out? Who could have that kind of stamina?

I am wondering what is happening there since TMTS hasn't been on for a while.

TMTS is curling...he will be around shortly.

Here we sit like birds in the wilderness,
Birds in the wilderness,
Birds in the wilderness.
Here we sit like birds in the wilderness
Waiting for TMTS.

there's got to be a way to anonomously inform WS of the sitch between OM and his GF... but what could it be. Actually I'm worried about the N... what if something comes out and WS gets mad at them, and they turn and say TMTS knew this and that all along... WS is going to be Pis***!

I'll be praying for you tomorrow TMTS!!

Well TMTS,

I hope you figure this out, because, my friend, I'm going to bed.

Good luck and blessings to you.

BOY- get your drunk [censored] over here and tell me what you think about my plan, dammit! Sheesh!

Ok, I'm baaaaack!!

Well as those of you in the midwest know the weather has not been very nice today. We got about 10 inch of snow. So after shoveling and comeing in to check in on any ideas, miss WW got home (Sorry, I have had one too many beer so this might be quite funny). Anyhow, I'm outside helping the neighbour finish up shovelling her driveway as I'm getting more info (BTW, we are not positive on the pregnancy). Well Mademoiselle WW stolls down the sidewalk with a big smile and says hi, and giggles. It was all I could do to not smack her upside the head with the shovel. I was Pissed, the B#$#h is leaving me tomorrow and talking to me like everything was normal. I just walked away and I got lucky becasue the plows came by so I had an excuse to stay in our driveway.

She talked to the neighbor a little more and was getting greif from her because any kind of evidence that is brought up gets dismised by her.

So we need to back up a little... I found out from the neighbor that this slime ball has every intention to play the two of them! Now the neighbor is really starting to get stressed over this and is close ot a nervous breakdown herself, and wants away from this mess. WW will not hear anything. So I had to do what I thought was best and sent GF a facebook message telling her that her BF was cheating on her and to call me. Or if she prefer to hear it from the horses mouth to call my WW, and proceeded to give her both mine and my WW's cell phone numbers. I know there are risks involved but I thought that was my best shot.

Ok back to the night. So after talking to the neighbor for a while she went in the house. I wnet in a grabed a beer and went to the next door neighbors. After about 1/2 hour WW came outside and came over and asked me how I was doing. all I could do is look at her with a look of anger, but didn't say a word until I took a breath and say, I'm not doing good, my W is leaving me tomorrow. It was calm but did not have that loving feel to it. So I had a swig of beer and she went over to the other neighbors place where she got an hearful, basically telling her that she was done talking to her abotu how much of a POS this guy was because she always found an excuse (Hence why I think my only chance is with direct contact with GF, facbook accout is all I have). Then I had to step into the backyard for 5 mins because the pain just got o me all of a sudden and I broke down.

After this I came into the house grabbed two beer and went next dorr wher the info neighbor joined us and we all had a good time while WW sat here doing... who cares! (Ok so I came back a couple of time for beer refill, but I did not even look at WW, out of fear of unleashing the mother of all LBs)

So that is the plan I must go with. Hopefully she will check her facebook account tomorrow and call me, or better yet call WW while POS is there. At this point I don't think the impact of how the information got to her will make much of a difference because as the neighbor says they have been trying to show her the kind of slime they are dealing with for over a month now. So she must either hear it from the GF or figure it out herself. If she finds out the info came from me I will tell her that I was just trying to save her from a bigger hurt down the road.

Me I go to the modified Plan A on Sunday. I have done all I could for this woman, and now that she has acutally left I will not degrade myself further by chasing her. The healling process starts now! The window of oportunity for her will close a little more every day, but the choice will ultimately be hers. If she donesn't care about throwing everything she has away why should I? she is loosing all her friends (Neighbors and BF don't even want to talk to her after tomorrow), family, Me. But she doesn't care!!! She is convinced that life will be better, so let her go find out. If it is great, I'll go fall in love with a 30 blonde brian surgeon who models on the side and make her very happy to have someone who loves her the way she deserves and appriciate me for it.

Oh Man this will be hilarious tomorrow morning….

I'd like to thank eveybody who weighed in on this. After the first set of suggestions I had to hit the buttom becasue of the fact that facebook is my only way to get in touch with her, and I was hoping she would get it before tomorrow. At this point I think any damage to plan A will be minimal and if WW finds out I was the source, I will stick to the fact that I know from the information I was getting that he was going to hurt you and I just wanted to save you from it getting deeper than it is now. I know there will still be backlash, but I think it will not be major, especially compared to the impact of the GF finding this tomorrow morning. I did ask her to call me first, so I can sexplain my situation and ask that she not mention me as a source. The Neighbor really laid in on him last night but he did seem to budge, because of the slime ball that he is.
So now we pray that the internal feeling I had was a sign from above and it was the right course to take. Only time will tell now.

I really did like Lala's plan, but would onlt have worked if we had a phone number. Who knows she might not check this until later on or even a couple of days, hence why the WWs phone number to be able ot verify this with her directly.

Hey TMTS - I've been trying to keep up, but your thread is moving so fast! I'm sure that you made the "best" decision possible.... so NO second guessing yourself!

I like your spirit... and you WILL be OK.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Wow. That's all I can say about the Facebook thing. I really hope it doesn't come back at you too bad. I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't have done that, because I think I would have done the same in all honesty. Sadly My X's OW didn't have a partner to involve.

It occurred to me when I was reading your letter that it doesn't matter what your wife finds out at this point. I think s he is going to move anyway. I also think she is so far in the fog that even if she knows he has a girlfriend that she is sure he will choose her (your W) because she chose him.

I think it is going to take an atom bomb to clear her fog. BUT! You have done such a stallar Plan A that it IS going to make a difference when she gets rid of the OM, and she will eventually. He is too much bad news to be around anyone forever. So hang in there.

I remember being right where you are tonight. Knowing my spouse was leaving the next morning. I actually went out with some girlfriends to a meeting rather than stay at home in case I would completely blow up. I didn't know about Plan A then. But you DO. So come on, use it, stop drinking and get busy. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day and you need all your wits about you, so that when she does leave, the last picture she sees of you is 'the safe place to fall'. And she IS going to fall.