Hi betrayed...

It's good to see names around that I actually remember. It means those neurons haven't completely shut down...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

K:

I agree with your assessment of WAT's remark. Here's an example, from my house:

Last night, my W was really tired after a day of running around shopping and trying and failing 2 locate graham cracker crumbs for tollhouse cookies (she found them 2day, though).

After dinner, I felt conversational, but she was intently watching a favorite TV show. After it was over, she was falling asleep. I tried 2 snuggle, and she made some noise that she was clearly tired, and I felt suspicion welling up, like "what has she been doing or who has she been talking 2 2day that makes her seem so distant?".

And it was all from reading 2 much on MB yes2rday, nothing in particular about any of the stuff I read, either. And nothing about what my W was doing either.

-ol' 2long

Hi, please excuse the intrusion but... K? Are you reading? Or any of you other really truly seasoned vets that really know MB principles?

Would you mind dropping in on wonderin's thread on the EN board? She is not a newbie, she's been posting for awhile and a lot of us care deeply about her.

She was on MB to improve her marriage for non-affair reasons, primarily her H's need for AS involved his request that she lose 10 pounds... she's pregnant by the way and was at a healthy BMI before pregnancy, weighing the same as when they dated and married. Her early thread contains all that discussion, FYI, I don't mean to resurrect that dispute over here. Just providing the briefest background.

Just the other day she discovered that her H has been involved with an OW.

I would just feel so much better if K or someone experienced and well-grounded in MBers would look in on that thread.

She briefly posted as wonderin3 due to being out of her house. Her current thread is
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3354005

wonderin3 is the same person as wonderin, and she is not a troll!

I hate posting on GQII, I'm sorry for coming here, but I wanted to make sure K would see this.

ETA: I chose this thread because it isn't involved in any disputes and I didn't want to tj someone's thread who needs advice.

what a great idea,jayne...I think it would be so helpful for wonderin (and me too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />) to hear from a man like k (and others) who completely understands MB practices.

i apologize for the threadjack, heartpin.

Thanks nia... your vote of confidence makes me feel better about this request!

(I also apologize for the thread jack...)

WAT,


So I'm guessin if your yacht leaves for NZ to see Jen, I need to find another ride? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I will say you found a keeper in your girl so hang on to that woman. It is good to hear from you as well as many other vets around here.

Now I am going to cause K a brain cramp. I recall a very bitter poster here when I came or just came here in early 99. His W had had a 5 year affair with her boss and had completely shut him out of the marriage as I recall.

They were trying to reconcile when he was posting here. So now for the quiz. Do you remember his name?

I ask this because it might be useful for those that have been here less than 7 years or so to see that angry people are not new to this site, there is just more of them.

Since I am entering the CRS phase of my life, I need a bit of a boost from youngsters like you K. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

JL

Nia & Jayne,

U R wise to ask help from these guys/gals. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

They have seen a lot and lived to tell about it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

They also have my utmost respect.

Now seeing that I was one of those caught up in that other GQII war of words, let me know on this thread if you want me to post to wonderin3. I can but don't want to cause any trouble for wonderin3. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

It is nice to see you reach out to help others. That's really what MB is all about. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Not all that war of words stuff. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

Hi JL,

Hope its okay I chime in.

I don't remember the name of the poster you speak of. But when I was thinking back to my first couple months on MB, I remember Tired Lady's (Tanya) situation.

I remember it was startling to me that both her WH and the OW (Mia) were also posting on GQII. The situation and their posts were so painful to read.

I will never forget the images of that situation. I learned so much about myself and my own situation from what they went thru right here on MB.

Jo

Orchid, IMHO it would be great if you posted on wonderin's thread. I think your reason and experience would be helpful.

There's not a lot of animosity there, any bad feelings are merely that we care about her and sometimes we have different ideas what is best. I don't think it's turned into anyone trying to be "right" for pride's sake, just wanting to help.

It is the EN board so it makes sense to work on eliminating DJs!

I don't know, but I would guess it's rare that someone has a D-Day after months of establishing friendships here with little suspicion of affairs... I think we are all stunned by her D-Day.

Thanks for letting me answer on this thread. I have no desire to swim in shark-infested waters!

Wow another "oldie" comes out.

Resilent, how are you? Yes I do remember that mess. It was weird. I beleive the guy I am thinking of was before all of that mess. I know his name had a number in it. It might have been lost in the "great disk crash of 00" or was that earlier? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

The post that pained me the most at the time was Facing Choices. Her posts caused me to register after 6 months of lurking, couldn't keep my mouth shut. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Good to see you back and I hope all is well with you.

God Bless,

JL

Jo,

I remember TL's sitch. It was very sad indeed. Didn't her sister post to us afterwards?

That affected me deeply. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

L.

Rats, I lost a post in2 the ether.

JL: WAT and I lost your email address. Can you email me?

-ol' 2long

2L,

Done.

JL

Are you talking about D99(H)?

The Glenn and Carol story was another tough one, with a beautiful ending that was too short when Glenn died later (a year?).

Yep, I think you're right K. I think he's referring to D99.

Gosh, I felt SOO sorry for that guy. And me, with my anger and hurt about discovery of my H's long term affair, I could really identify with him. To me, that's the danger of running some one off the board. "Someone" is identifying with them. "Someone" is learning from the posts and responses.I felt so bad when he was forced to leave. Just goes to show,things were not all a bed of roses way back then either. We had our "problem posters" and disputes then too!

I had email contact with him so awhile after he was gone but we lost contact. I sure wish he & his W could have stayed. I'd love to know how that turned out.

I've mentioned that I'm one of the many who have benefited from the present MB forums, in spite of how they're perceived by those who were involved decades ago. You're so right, Nerlycrzy, in recognizing that there will always be conflicts where there is so much pain.

So how do you all recall this person was "forced to leave"?

BTW...thanks to all of you MB Vets who have been posting to newbies and oldies while in the midst of your reunion.

And to 2long.....I would still love to hear how you strike that balance in posting time/15 hours with spouse. I try to limit my posting time to early morning hours when DH is sleeping (and I'm often late for work!). I can't post in the daytime during work and I usually lurk a little at night but seldom post then.....but I want to!!!!! (Yeah...I think I'm addicted and my 345 day post count shows it.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Again, thanks,
Ace

Ace:

My W isn't on board with MB methods, yet. Don't know if she ever will be.

But I think we probably spend something close 2 15 hours 2gether each week, though mostly not one-on-one, admittedly.

With the onset of the Great Troll War (GTW), I must humbly and somewhat shamefully admit that I'm spending 2 much time here for my own good.

I try 2 post only when I'm at work and my computer is busy saving or opening a multi-gigabyte map file or something, or when I'm at home and she's out running errands.

But I do need 2 cut back. And more importantly, I need 2 better control my emotional investment in the drama and pain. It pulls me down.

=ol' 2long

K,

Yup, it was D99. His story always bothered me,but he was an angry man, with good reason. Glenn and Carol, man that was a hard situation and how it ended. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Ya know, I recall those folks like it was yesterday, although the names sometimes fade. I think I've been here too long and seen to much, because few situations touch me as strongly as they did when I first found this site.

Yes, but D99 is a reminder that the "good old" days had issues as well. This is tough stuff and very hard to deal with even if one is not in the middle of it.

Ya, know K I still cannot get over how Facing Choices story ended after all of those years. What a surprise...a pleasant one.

God Bless,

JL

I am doing very well, JL. Thanks for asking.

Seems lots of old timers are here. Next thing you know, Lori (LostVA) will be posting.

Hope your holidays are peaceful and warm.

Jo

Yes, I do remember that LeAnne.

Her sister came on to tell us Tanya was in a fatal car accident. That was so sad. I know I cried.

That poor woman, she never got over the betrayal I don't think. She fought the divorce very hard. It must have been very surreal to have your WH and the OW posting on your safe place. Justifying their adultery.

I still pray for Tanya to find peace. I'm sure she has.

Jo