Amen to that!

It is EXACTLY what I was doing - trying to have some self respect. Whatever was left of it anyway.

Uh-oh, he just called my cell and broke my Plan B. But I didn't answer, then he called work and I had my receptionist send it to VM. Yikes!

Serenity, where did you go? You and I can share stories of how to outsmart our BS's from taking advantage of us. We can make a boundary plan. What other examples do you have from your experience?

Thanks Mimi. You always have a good thread to share and I appreciate it so much.

Seren, in regards to boundaries, this is what I stuck in my PBL, which I gave 2 nights ago:

"Making you leave wasn’t done to hurt you, it was self-preservation, because I am not going to watch any more holes made in the wall or doors by you, or be subjected to your angry reactions."

and this...
"I am your wife, WH, and there is only one other that is allowed between us and that is God. We chose each other. I am the other half of what makes you whole, and I love you as part of who I am. But I won’t share you. And, I am not an “option” to be chosen if I’m the one that treats you the best this week."

I don't think it is true to most plan b letters, but I wanted to give him an explanation of my ACTION to downsize his HUGE belief that I am "out to get him". He is so insecure and his TEMPER and LB's made it necessary to clarify what I'm going to do about it..my part. It was a way of putting my boundaries on paper...his consequences of the selfish act of betrayal to me and our marriage...and his temper.

S or C, Have you done a plan B letter yet?

Hi everyone... buried in snow here again!!

Had a nice weekend. Went to a tournament with son and friend and friends parent. We had a good time, nice talk.

I have not done Plan B yet. I don't know that I could. If I can't have him as a H then I do still want to be friends. I guess I haven't gotten past that part yet... I did order the book Not Just Friends, after I read that, maybe I'll get it.

I haven't had much in the way of boundaries yet. I did tell him that someone suggested I change the locks, that hurt and he said he'd just give me his keys, I said no that's ok, but please call before you come over ;-) see this way if I'm in sweats and my hairs a mess I have time to fix it up a bit.

He came by yesterday and again this a.m. I'm not calling him or emailing him, unless it's in response to him. He's going to make the moves and they better be genuine or I'm ignoring ;-) I'm happy right now. I want to feel like this more often!!

It hurt him when you said you wanted to change the locks?! What nerve.

Well, um, didn't it HURT YOU when he decided to sleep with someone else?

Alien in a fog. I changed our locks and didn't even tell him. He found out when he tried to get in one day. They have to have some kind of consequence and that was a little bitty one compared to what my WH has done.

I can't stand the hold these WS's have over some of us BS's. We don't think as clearly as we should and keep getting hurt.

This is why I did Plan B. lol, course it isn't a very strong one, but I'm trying. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />