Does it help to remember that you have no control over his emotions? They are not you, they're not even about you, really. They're about him. So while they may ultimately affect you, via his decisions, they are still his to own. All you can do is continue down your path of perfecting yourself. In the meantime, you look better to yourself and to everyone else. That is what would get him to come back around - you being a better person. So just work on what you can, and disregard his feelings for being only about his own confusion. Let him settle them as he will, as you calmly go about fixing yourself.

Yeah thats what I've been trying to do. Ya know when this first started, i thought all of his feelings were so stupid and i just thought he was so wrong, but now I respect his feelings and thoughts, doesnt mean i have to agree with them, but i respect them because their his. I have really tried doing a lot of different things, and i really do feel like a better person. I mean before I know i was bitter, if he went down to his parents and was out late i was so angry and upset because he wasnt home with me. I understand now that before all this happened, deep inside i thought it was all about me and no body else or anything else, he could only have time for me. Now i know how wrong I was and how awful that was. So now when he comes home late from his parents, i dont sit and badger him like i used to, i just ask him if he had fun and when he says yes i just tell him i'm glad that he got to spend that time wtih them. I know i used to be too controlling and like i said too much about me. So i am just trying to show him thats definately not me anymore. I know and understand i cant make him feel or think the same way i do, like i used to think, so i'm just trying to take it one day at time, but its so difficult and so confusing not knowing what he's thinking, if he is starting to feel for me again, if he's only there because the lawyer told him to, if he is going to try this again, or if he is just waiting to file. Its just so hard to not know anything at all. And I know looks shouldnt matter, but i have been trying to lose weight too. When he first met me I was a size 4, now I'm a 14, gained 70 pounds during my pregnancy. I have lost 20 pounds so far.........

Well last night he came home at 6:30 and I thought it was enjoyable, no stress, nothing. Well we went to bed last night and he rolled over and asked me if we could talk. He told me he feels like he has been using me since he came home and thats not fair to me (i dont think he has been using me). He told me he doesnt want me to get my hopes up because he has made his mind up and theres no changing it. He suggested maybe he should start sleeping on the couch, but i dont want him to do this, i am gonna lose him soon enough, and i want to enjoy his presence while he's still there. I told him how much i love him and he told me that he knows I do. I just cried and told him i just want him to love me again. Thats all I really do want. I pointed out to him that every night since he's been home he has held me while he sleeps (the first night he hugged me, rubbed my arm for a while, then held me as tight as he could) he just said he was sorry. I told him i think its his sub-concience talking and he just said no, its just instinct. We are going to his nephews birthday party tomorrow night, I miss our niece and nephews so bad! I asked him if he would go talk to our preacher and he said no. I just really dont know what to do. I am so scared. I really dont want this divorce and I dont know what to do to stop it. I'm not trying to be mean by saying i want to stop it, i want to stop it because i love him and i feel like getting a divorce is a mistake. I just dont know what to do anymore.

Well my husband told me last night that he is thinking about filing for the divorce this week. He said he only looks at me as a friend now. This is just breaking my heart, i understand he has been going through this for a while now, but i didnt know anything like this was going on until the week before christmas, and now one month later, we are going to file for divorce?! I just dont know what to do. I really dont want this divorce. I love him and i want to spend the rest of my life with him, and i just dont know what direction to go in anymore or what to do.

Sorry to hear that. What are the laws in your state? Can he get a divorce without your cooperation? Regardless, do not move out of the house until the legal issues have been resolved. He will most likely be required to help support the baby, so don't do anything until you figure this all out. Are you working? You may want to get a part time job to start saving up some money. Ask your friends and family for help through this time.

Well Tuesday night me and my husband went out to get our taxes done, went to dinner and had a GREAT time. We both even said it felt like old times. We got along so well. Then last night he tells me that he has decided to talk to our preacher on Saturday, but he also told me he filed for divorce on Monday. I dont know what to do. I dont think there is anything i can do to stop this. I know he is afraid that he will get hurt again, and he is afraid that i will change back to the old me (mean) and thats not the case. I am on the right medications now, i have found God and my life is completely different, I am completely different. I'm so scared right now and just dont know what to do