And i have not done anything on this board and do not intend to because if you don't see things the same way as others you get "yelled" at and i am not here for that.

By focusing on NEGATIVITY, you give it VALUE, Graplin.

I'm here almost everyday and have absolutely NO IDEA what you are talking about...

They could be targeting ME as far as I know...

But I don't care..it doesn't matter..and it probably doesn't matter to whoever it is..

But bringing such NEGATIVITY onto this website does matter..

Because there are people here trying to MAKE IT FROM ONE DAY TO THE OTHER..trying to literally SURVIVE..because of their spouse's BETRAYAL.

THAT..SHOULD BE OUR FOCUS..HELPING THE WOUNDED...

MEDC! That was such a nice post, and totally different from what I expected to read. Thank you!

Heartpain,

I happen to listen to everthing you say, with interest! You are a very interesting poster! And I agree with you and PK, humility is such a great quality to have but I don't know how to give it to someone. I don't know why some are so humble and some are not. I think it has to do with fear though. I think fear is probably at the root of a lack of humilty.

Still_Crazy,

I agree with MEDC. I like you too. I wish you would just ignore what bristles you and post in your own unique way. There is someone who bothers me on this forum lately, very, very much...so I know by my reaction to his posts, I have work to do on myself. It's kind of like getting a gift, if you want to look at it that way. A chance to tackle what it is that bothers you about someone.

Graplin,

I do see your point. And the thing is, is that we have the right to say "it's none of your business". I knew I was recovered and heading to a good place when I bypassed Mere's thread on the OW's pretending to not know the MM was married. I could have taken it personally, but I decided not to and kept right on moving down the line. Not that Mere was talking about me, or that she wouldn't beleive me, but I just decided, no thanks. It's my business now, and I don't need to share.

I came here to get what I needed, to learn what I needed to learn and back then I had to share to get answers and help... and to share my personal life at this point is totally up to my discretion. I don't have to share it anymore because I am recovered and not needing any help at this time. Knock on wood!

Awesome posts, Mimi, and Weaver! Thanks to you, Mimi and MEDC for your kind words. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I agree very much with the others that this is very negative and does nothing to resolve anything. It just causes more conflict. It brings negative attention to whomever is being discussed. Hopefully we can get off the scolding box and get back helping others.

**************EDIT**************

You won't set me off about that. I stick what I think and feel right out there. I called out posters by name on these boards and even made a list of people that I thought were a danger to newcomers. I personally don't give a rats butt if they didn't like it..it was my feelings.

If I had the information about someone being dishonest, I would consider it restraint to gently prod the person in the direction of truth. More likely than not, I would just let out with the truth. that's just the way I handle things. Heck, there are a few people on this board, that if I was able to access the information, I would personally involve myself in their lives and inform others of what I know have been wrong doings by them.




It only became clear to me..and some others when you mentioned the name.

Look Graplin...I do not have a problem with people that are friendly here having a common set of values. It would be likely they will continue to express those values and talk amongst themselves ...and support one another. I call ANYONE out ...ANYONE, friend or not..when I think they are out of line. Even if there is a concerted effort here...really, what does that mean...that people that think alike are supporting one another. Why does that shock you?

I don't agree that defaming anyone is a goal of the posters in question. I know them and don't buy it. while their efforts may be in concert...I think you have attributed to them a motive they likely do not possess. These people that I felt targeted me before are my friends...I can see their motives as defending a set of beliefs with the clear vision that hindsight affords me. Do I wish things had been handled a bit differently...yes. Do I wish there was more of a desire to understand what I meant...yes. BUT, I think the motives were not to harm me...but to straighten me out...and frankly, I needed the kick in the rear.

Just my opinion.

*****************EDIT******************

Still:

I don't know you and haven't been keeping up with your story or your posts...

But I encourage you not to let anyone control what you say here. CHOOSE to speak your own truth regardless of being YELLED at..it's just a computer screen..PRETEND that they are talking quietly.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

In real life, people will not agree with you, people will YELL at you for no reason. I've learned that LIFE is not FAIR. Who said it's supposed to be fair? I say this to MY BOYS all the time.

What you DO CONTROL is your own MIND and your own VOICE. No one can take that those things away from you.

Thank you so much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mimi, although you aren't aware of it, that doesn't mean that others are not.

If you were the one being targeted, I would hazard a guess that your feelings might be different.

I should know better than to even read posts like this because i get so angry.***********EDIT*********If you don't like the thread than don't post on it or read it. Why can't others have their opinions and they not be cast aside as NEGATIVITY. ****** we are all negative due to the reason we are here. We all have different opinions and values and perceptions of the MB principles. ***************EDIT********

Still_crazy,

Then if she makes you so mad, just put her on ignore until you feel you don't need to anymore.

I had to put MEDC on ignore one time for two weeks because he made me so mad... but then I got over it. And if he makes me mad again where it is affecting my ability to function on this board as I want to, or not, I'll put him back on ignore.

Most people here who are emotional and/or sensitive do use the ignore button. Most people here DO have posters who from time to time push their buttons, but as Mimi has said it is something we need to learn to deal with. It's LIFE...unless we are one of those people who are so evolved that they take nothing personally. Most of us are not quite there yet.

I don't know what I am trying to say, just that I hate to see someone so upset over one poster that pushes her buttons. They are your buttons after all Still, so you control them really.

I work on moving my buttons all the time because I don't want to be ticked off at other people. I want to enjoy them.

I remember the one call out thread I did and it was to of all people, MEDC. Who would of thunk it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

But it didn't take me all that long to realize that the problem I had at the time, was a particually bad trigger for me , not him!

Thus, the real problem was mine, not his.

Sometimes it's a good thing to stand in front of a mirror and realize that none of us are perfect. We each have our own set of flaws, whether we percieve them or not. Mine became quite obvious, to me, and it helped immensely in my own recovery.

It would be IMHO,be quite beneficial to all of us to step back, from time to time, and lose the anger, and reflect what, if anything should or could be said to be of benefit to all of us here.

JMHO,

All Blessings,
Jerry

Still:

When you are ANGRY, are you YELLING? I thought you didn't like that.

I was trying to HELP you...guess I failed at that...
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Sorry...carry on..