Z,
Sorry to hear you are stuck in this rut. A or no A, the symptoms point to the WS type attitude.
Are you done with your plan A? Because from what you posted, he is using you big time and wants you to enable his WS attitude. How does that make you feel? Do you really think a good R can come from someone as selfish as he is being?
His friend Mark's place isn't good enough? Well it s/b. Yours is far more valuable and worth a lot more.....so you shouldn't be 2nd choice.
Do you feel your mind and heart are in sync? If so, are you ready to execute plan B? Have you identified your personal and M boundaries and when will you be ready to implement them?
Ok, that's a lot of questions..... think about them and when you are ready, we can talk. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Btw, your H is babbling. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Yep, that what is sounds like. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
take care,
L.
I am ready for plan B, mostly because I need to live. Like I said before, it's been almost a year we've been in this mess. It's been almost 2 years since my depresssion began. I need to get out. I feel like I am in a vicious cycle.
I accept now that my H is never going to change. His friends have always come first for him. Before his family and before me. I don't forsee that happening in the future. I fooled myself for so long and then became miserable until I gave up 2 years ago.
I love my H with all my heart, but I need to do what is best for me know and live my life. I don't want to be unhappy and I don't want to feel like 2nd best, which is what I have felt for years no matter what I did.
It's time to write a plan B letter.
I am having the locks to the house changed this week. I think I am going to have to change some phone neumberra as well as some of my IM account names since my H won't stop contacting me no matter how much I try and ignore him.
And as far as my financial mess, my parents have been kind enough to let me borrow some cash in the meantime. But I am going to get a second job.
I am trying to stay upbeat and am keeping myself busy. Finally realizing that happiness is infact a choice has helped me a lot in the last couple of weeks.
