ON THE OTHER HAND, I think a PROLONGED PLAN A can serve to ENABLE the affair..so PLAN A does need to come to a close AS SOON AS POSSIBLE..but PLAN A needs to last AS LONG AS POSSIBLE...I read about a time frame on here somewhere that others may know more about than me...To me, it's seems like A BALANCING ACT..long enough to EVIDENCE ability to meet ENs..SHORT ENOUGH to keep the wayward from getting TOO COMFORTABLE with getting needs met by two people..in other words, learning to ENJOY CAKE-EATING... [/quote]
Mimi, I worry about this since I'm starting into my plan A. I HAVE to plan A for a while b/c I just don't feel like I've laid the ground work for plan B memories...nor have I helped myself enough yet, honestly (although getting better and better).
Here's what's tricky for me to understand....my WW has been very sullen, drawn-back, angry...fill in the blank....whenever she knows I'm still trying. Twice in this 6 week process she felt me getting too close and gave me the "break up speach" as I call it. She felt she got through to me and convinced me to give up on those two occassions (and she kind of did I must admit). The next day she was all happy-go-lucky and friendly and even invited me to call and talk....this is obviously b/c she thought she had relagated me to "friend" status and she knew she had her cake and was going to pig out! A day later when I explianed that I wasn't giving up......she's right back to the sullen, angry person again. It's amazing....like flipping a light switch the way her emotions changed on these two occassions.
I worry that I can't do a good plan A with her in this defensive mode (and living away from home).....but if I do act "nice" and "pretend I'm happy" I worry that she's going to think I've accepted "friend" status again......which validates her A.
How do you combat that?? Very confused <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
