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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
Ok, darn it....how do you do the quote thing??? I tried to highlight a quote and then hit the "quote" button...but it didn't put mine in a box. Somebody show me!
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,327
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,327 |
Hit the quote button and then highlight what you want and insert it in between where it says quote twice.
Does that make sense?
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
Hit the quote button and then highlight Let's see if this works.
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
Sweet. Thanks. I was just doing it backwards. I guess that is counter-intuitive too, huh!!!!
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,327
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,327 |
Yay! You did it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320 |
To me, the defining characteristic of an exit affair is conflict avoidance. The WS wants to end the M, but can't bring themselves to bring it up to their BS. They hope that upon discovery the BS will end the M and they are out of the M without having to bring it up.
I honestly think these are much rarer than people think. If one's goal of having an A was to get out of a M, it would look radically different than most of the A's described here. At the extreme, it would be discovered very quickly, there would be very little emotional attachment to OP, and the A's would end very soon after D-day with little desire to continue them. Basically, if one's assumption was that their BS would dump them if they cheated, a ONS would do the trick just fine. If the BS offered to reconcile, the WS would probably be very frustrated and move on to other ways to get the BS to end the M. I've only seen a handful of situations posted here that I think fit with this.
IMHO, very rarely was the objective of the A to end the M. The objective was to get an unmet need fulfilled.
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
Oh, I agree, rprynne....I know my WW isn't doing this to get me to end the M. Actually, she's shown a lot of remorse about "having" to end the marriage. It's all about her getting needs met and feeling "happy" and "cherished" again. Unfortunately, she's convinced that those feelings Can't and Won't ever be met by me again...that's the challenge.....getting rid of the OM and convincing her to work with me to re-establish these things. Just don't know if that will happen or not, only time will tell!
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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