((((((Snuggles)))))))

Snuggles,

I apologize for being so harsh. If you truly want to recover your M, this stuff cannot take place anymore. Get all your plans in place and go to PLAN B right after the Baptism. You deserve to be treated better than this.

Want2Stay

It's no big deal i do want to recover my marriage. I think he has been reading my posts again cause he asked me today if i was only going to be nice to him till then.

He knows about marriage builders and plan a and b. I dunno sometimes i just feel like giving up just to make him happy.

I love him with my whole heart and soul and i want him happy. i know i sound crazy but i dunno... bbl

And you? What about your happiness? Until you start having some respect for YOURSELF, he will keep this ACT up. It is all an ACT, while he CAKE-EATS!!!

Come ON, girl!!!! Stop enabling him.

I understand what you are all saying.... what do i do when he knows what MB plans are.... that is why he thinks i will be manipulating him.... how do i work this when he knows all about this stuff.

If you are reading i am tyring to do everything i can to save our marriage... i know it can be better than anything we have ever had before.

My FWH read on MB too and it didn't stop me from going to Plan B. Or stop me from Plan A'ing him before that.

As for the SF while you know he is banging OW, that is beyond gross and even more than that I am seriously concerned for your state of mind.

After d-day FWH told me that he had sex with both of us in the same day. I almost killed him. I don't know how you could voluntarily do that.

Stop this, now. If you ever get into recovery you will eventually feel like you just might hate him for doing this, but you are ALLOWING IT!! I had no choice because I didn't know, and if I did...HAYUL NO would I do that.

Stop making excuses and go to Plan B...baptism or not, there will always be some excuse.

Well dear if you are reading i do love you very much. I post here to keep my sanity and try and keep hope alive.

I miss you terrible and i wish you never have to feel pain like this. I just wish very much to have my family back. I hope you can understand that

Well my WH is mad at me and has not talked to me via text or IM since last evening. He won't tell me what is wrong just that we will talk later.

I am assuming it is over my posting. I love him very much and i have a feeling he is going to tell me he completely done. I have been fighting so hard for my marriage but all i want is for him to be happy. I know what about my happiness.... well the only thing that has made me happy these last seven years was making him happy. I loved to hear his laugh and see his smile. It was one of my favorite things.

I just hope life turns out to be what he has always wanted and expected i want nothing but the best for him.

He says he knows how hard i am fighting for our marriage and he has read it here. Ijust feel like it is not enough. I know about plan b and well i dunno i am trying to get there.

Dont wring your hands over it and fret until he talks...If he's mad over your post he's really foggy... You haven't posted anything that he would have a legitimate reason to be mad at... You're fighting for your marriage and I would expect him to get pissed about it.

Keep you're chin up... you can both be happy.

Thanks Amazin.... i know what you mean... i know i could be happy without him that is not at all what i want cause he is my soulmate. I will love him forever and i know that in my heart it is not because he is the father of my daughter. I have loved this man from the first moment i ment him. I knew right then and there that he was the man i was going to marry. he has said the same thing.... but now he doesn't think that is true... yada yada yada

he just admitted he was on here yesterday and and saw what everyone is saying about going to plan B after the baptism.... i am fighting so hard and he things this is all a ploy

I ment that you and your husband could be happy, in love, and together again...Not happy and apart.

HI MR SNUGGLES <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR WIFE DEEPLY CARES ABOUT YOU. SHE WANT'S A NEW MARRIAGE WITH YOU. A NEW MARRIAGE THAT IS FULL OF THE LOVE YOU ONCE HAD FOR EACH OTHER. I'M SURE SHE FEELS THAT THIS ISN'T HOW IT SHOULD BE. WON'T YOU JOIN HER IN THIS NEW MARRIAGE?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mr. Snuggles

You are at a crossroads. You daughter is young enough that she won't be able to remember any of the misery you are inflicting on your wife. You are being given a chance to right a wrong. You vowed to "Love, Honor and Cherish" this woman before GOD, your family and friends. Nowhere in those vows does it say torture, abandon, and humiliate. What you are doing is just plain mean. You can fix this. You have a chance to MAN up and quit acting like a spoiled teenager. There is a little girl involved that didn't ask to be brought into this world. It is your responsibility as her father to defend and protect your family. What you chose now will define you for the rest of your life. You can be a MAN and stay true to the vows you made to this woman and your baby girl, or you can continue on your ridicilous course of "finding yourself." The choice is yours. I hope you make the right one.

First, finding yourself...

1. If you can't find yourself, try looking in your shoes. More than likely you will be there.

2. Do not bother looking where your children or responsibilities are, though that would be a reasonable place to look we know you are not there.

3. If need be, go to the police station and give the desk sargeant an 8x10 or you and ask to have an APB put out since you can't find yourself.

4. Ask your child to point to their mom/dad, if you are not sure which one you are reach into your pants and feel around, if there is a penis there, you are dad, if not, you're probably mom.

Now one of these tried and true methods ought to help you find yourself, but it probable dark so let's help you see better. Reach behind you, palms facing you, arms hanging down and grab. That's your butt. Now reach in that and look for a large round object, that is your head. Now, with both hands pull as hard as you can. You are now performing recto-cranial extraction.

Ok, now you have found yourself. We are making progress here! Now we need to find out "who you are". This is not so hard. Look around the house - if there are one or more particularly short little people ask one of them, they are called children, they probably know the answer as it was one of their first two or 3 words. Not able to talk yet? No sweat.

Look for the full grown person with the red eyes who looks like they haven't slept in a while - they probably know. They aren't home??? let's keep looking.

Try looking in a desk or filing cabinet. Look for folders named "mortgage", "Utilities", Or "Marriage license". There will probably be two names here - you are one of those. So we have found you and narrowed it down to two people.

Now look and see if there is a wallet around. Remember that? Little pocket sized leather folding thingy. Look for something that says drivers license. There should be a name. Now find a mirror (Glass thingy in the bathroom), look at the picture on the driver's license and the face in the mirror, if they match, the name on the license is WHO YOU ARE. If they don't, check those papers you found - you are the other name.

Now that you have found yourself and know who you are go find the other full grown person in the house and introduce yourself. Start out with "I'm sorry I could not find myself or figure out who I was, I know now"

Next, knock off the drama, quit being melodramatic and start being mom/dad, husband/wife like you are supposed to and quit with the childish theatrics because the final piece is WHERE YOU ARE. This is called the real world where people depend on you to act like a grownup and keep track of details like who and where you are. The little people in the house are kinda sorta counting on you too.

If this doesn't work and you have to take a journey to answer these questions there is a chance that when you find yourself you will be alone, without a house, without a spouse, without children who love you and without a penny. That is how my XW found herself a year later. Trust me, my plan outlined earlier is better.

Well we had a talk this am before i went to work.... he feels that you all don't understand where he is coming from. as mentioned in previous threads of mine i was wrong for a lot of things. i had an anger problem and would flip out on the drop of a dime over the simplest of things.... i have tried to run us off the road when i was angry in the car or even tried to put the car into park. i have said mean and hurtful things to my husband that he is having a hard time looking past.

he said he knows that we could have a great marriage because of all of this he says he knows that but he wants to trust that i won't flip out at him and get angry any more. i no longer have that in me.... i have a peace inside of me that i never knew i could find. he is an attractive man and i love him good and bad.

i am sorry for the things i have done to cause misery in our marriage and i have changed so much. since he has read this thread he feels that these changes are only a game and that i will change.... but what he doesn't know is that they are real and have to be so for myself and my daughter.

i don't want my daughter afraid to tell me things for fear i will lash out..... cause that is how i grew up and when i had her a light switch came on in my head and i knew i had to be a better person because of her and because of me

if you are reading this i love you very much teddybear.

So ACTION..not TALK!

EVIDENCE your CHANGE!

Rename your thread. Don't CLAIM any SADNESS!

Call it what you want. MY PERSONAL RECOVERY...TODAY I'M CHANGED...

Stop claiming this sadness, Snuggles.

It's about MINDSET, changing your way of thinking.

I USED to be just like you describe yourself..out of control of my emotions.

You can gain control of your EMOTIONS through MIND CONTROL.

The FIRST STEP can be renaming this thread.

When I saw MOOD: Sadness, I didn't even want to read it. Do you understand? It is not attractive and does not draw people to you. Well, that's how it is for ME. I want to help folks who seem highly motivated TO CHANGE towards the POSITIVE rather than dwelling in the past.

Mr. & Mrs. Snuggles,

There is still plenty of time to fix this. Mr. Snuggles, since you are already reading here, why not register and let all the wonderful people here help you save your marriage? Don't you think you owe it to your newborn daughter to at least try. Why not get onboard with wife and see if you can put the pieces of your marriage back together? Look, we are all human and people make mistakes. Mrs. Snuggles has apologized over and over again. It's all she can do until you give her a chance to prove she's changed. I'm certainly as guilty of making mistakes as anyone else. With that being said, I also believe that people can and do change. If they didn't I wouldn't be here. You were both 50% responsible for the state of you marriage that allowed this to happen, but Mr. Snuggles, you are 100% responsibile for choosing to do it. Why don't you register and give your recovery 6 months and see what happens? Isn't your daughters future worth 6 months time to you? Make no mistake, that is what is at stake here, your daughters entire future. So, Mr. Snuggles, what are you going to do?

Mimi---- thank you for that reminder that mind of matter helps make things happen and change.... i appreciate your input.

W2S-- thank you for posting i appreciate all the you and your wonderful wife have said and done. You guys are my true inspiration along with Mimi, SMB, TST, TMTS, Not2, SS.... and all the others... you are only harsh cause you care and i appreciate that.

i know deep down he loves me and i can see that he is falling in love with me again.... i just have to continue to show him my changes... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Snuggles,

All just cake eating fog babble. So you have/had an anger issue, this is what drove him to an A? Bullchit!

I'm sure he doesn't walk around town with a halo on his head.

All just more excuses and justifications. No more.

Until you see him move out, see a NC letter, establish extraordinary precautions to prevent them from ever having contact again, it is nothing but babble.

Bud, if you are reading this, think real hard about how you are handling this whole situation. It looks like you see this as a game, where you pop in to make sure your wife is still there waiting for you and ready to do anything to get you home. Let me tell you that with guidance, she will only put up with that for so long, and then the door starts to shut. What happens when it shut for good? What's your plan then? Do you really think you have a future with this OW? (If you've read here at all, you know that the chances are very slim). What's your relationship with your DD going to be like? About the relationship with your Family? Think of the time you bring the OM to meet your Mother, pretty scene isn't it? All for what? Because it's easier to run than to deal with your issues? Very weak excuse! Keep playing this game and you stand a good chance of loosing her.

He has DONE nothing to show this love you profess he has for you. He's told you plenty, but done nothing. Snuggly, he's playing a game with you, nothing less. first thing he needs to do is grow up.

i wish he would post on here... he said that there was no reason for the affair no matter what i did... he said he wishes a lot of this never happened but at the same time it was able to open our eyes to see what was really going on and a change to make things better.

He said he is happy for the first time in a long time cause he has other women hitting on him and he is popular with people.... which to his little knowledge he was popular before with our friends. They all care about him deeply and don't want to see him make a mistake.

I just know we can have a great life together if he would only give it a chance....

Mr. Snuggles,


What's more important being "popular" with women and other people or being your daughter's HERO. When all is said and done, none of those people you thought it neccessary to be popular with will be around, but your own flesh and blood may hate you for abandoning her as a baby. Is it really worth that? Are you really that selfish? I don't think so, or your wife wouldn't be here fighting for you so hard.

Want2Stay