Well it's me. The original justpeachy. I've been on a hiatus from this board for a good while now just getting on with things and life.

Where to begin? Let's see. I'm still doing great. In same profession. Work much closer to my child's school now. My child is 9 yo. Can't believe he is that big.

Some of you may remember my situation with darth, the sith lord and my ongoing issues and his affairs with the infamous monkeyho and ms. family values. He ended up getting FamilyValues preggers and she now has a child, a girl. She is almost 4. Their insta-add-water marriage immediately after our divorce has been anything but heaven for them. She's attempted over the last 4 years to file for divorce multiple times and their last d day (with yet multiple ow) was in december 07. But it's yet another false recovery for them. So much for the soulmates bs right? Never a moment of peace or fidelity have the infidels ever known.

He's been a pill to deal with, my xh. Still a liar, demanding, and nasty on most occasions to deal with. But he's made teeny improvements as of late. Was diagnosed biplar this summer btw..So he has to deal with it.

Me? Let's see. I dated around. But kept nose to the groundstone completely. Never once since being separated and divorced has anybody ever (man that is) spent the night under my roof, gotta be a good role model for my child since there's only one of us around. Worked and worked some days until I felt I'd fall down from exhaustion but my boy's worth it.

Back to the dating part. Dated, kissed a few frogs, but nobody special. Just having a good time with friends and family and above all my little boy. That's been my little slice of heaven until now. And now there's a little bit more!

Several months ago at dinner with a few girlfriends (yes I was dressed up), I was at the sushi bar and met several guys who were ooogling our new roll we'd ordered. One of the guys was really cute, but I didn't want to talk to him. He looked like Darth too much. But my girlfriends encouraged me to talk to him anyway. I kept shuddering when I would look at him, but after talking to him (my x is cute though) I realized he was nothing like my x. Anyway, as the night passed he kept coming over to our table and talking and they sat near all of us. Before night was over, he handed me his card and asked me out to dinner.

That was about 10,000 dates ago or so it seems now. And to make things more funny? God really does have a good sense of humor! Some of you may remember how horrible it was when I abandoned my family home, the dream home I'd built with my xh after he pushed me down a spiral staircase. After the divorce and during the course of it, I'd lost almost everything I'd owned financially due to the lies and deceit of my xh who was horrible and evil through the whole thing. Well isn't this funny, but my boyfriend lives in the same subdivision. And to make it funnier, we are from same areas! He's handsome, smart, funny, a wonderful dad, and himself was too, a bs. So he understands. When he found out about his xwife's a, he promptly divorced her no looking back at all and was very kind to her even during it. He has character. Lots of it.

So let's see. In 2002 and 03, I left my family home I'd built. All my hopes and dreams were demolished. All my plans for our future, my xh and I, came crashing down and in the midst of our separation I even miscarried. Time passes, and I meet the man of my dreams who is tall, dark, and handsome and even lives in the same area!

To say I'm happy is now an understatement. He's kind, loving, protective, and gets along with everybody. He and I are reading books about how to merge families together, and we're definitely using the MB approach to a relationship so we have a foundation that will last.

If I were to speculate, I'd say this is the last year I'll be a single girl anymore. Don't know when, but things are coming most definitely! When you're a good person, care for your child and place others needs ahead of your needs, and better yourself through this program, you will come out ahead even if you do find yourself divorcing. Not all marriages are destined to be saved. Mine was not one. And it's sad. I see them in a pretty much loveless marriage with so many infidelities in his back pocket over the last four years. In fact, two years ago, my xh tried to ask me out when he and his w separated (that's happened several times). The foundation upon which you build your relationship and your family is important. And it will be the basis for the story of your life. What will your story say?

Mine's going to be an unusual one that's for sure. Lots of twists and turns. But finally a place where I feel more happy than I could imagine. It's taken me almost six years to get to this point. I went from devastated, hurt, broken beyond reason to angry, confused and wondering why somebody like me who was a good wife, had a good marriage (even a healthy sex life) end up in a situation like I was in? Nobody could have believed it. I went from all that negativity to a place of peace. That's where I spent the last several years. Just learning who I was again. Who I am as a woman. Not who I was as a wife anymore. I grew. I had some of the most fun experiences ever and at the same time, some of the scariest times ever. I went from living in luxury to barely scraping by to doing pretty ok now. All through this I had to deal with my xh, who has been horrible to coparent with and still terribly controlling despite our being divorced for so long. It's as though he never let go in a wierd way.

But I sure did. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Just wanted to come here to say hello to some of my old friends here. Orchid, Hopenpray, Indy, Redhat, Mimi, Pepperband, and if I leave anybody else out you can just let me know! And I sure could use a good bbq now and then too!

Just do all you can do to help your family. And by learning these principles you are doing this. Either outcome you will be fine. Wish you peace.

HELLO PEACHY [waving]

Mr. and Mrs. Wondering

Hey jp!

This is so cool.

You done good! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

I miss you guys! Are you still coming my way soon? You'll have friends! I think you both will like him. Hopenpray will hopefully meet him soon too! Can you guys hook a girl up with some good bbq?

Hi JustPeachy!! We have missed ya terrible! Thanks for the update, friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't know you, but I sure needed this tonight.

I imagine you had quite the walk and are reaping G-d's blessings. Congratulations..

If you ever want to stick around and help us newbies we sure would appreciate it.

Nice to meet you,
Queenie

Hey 2long! Hello Mel! How are you? Give me an update!

I think it's time for another reunion!

Oh and you guys will think this is a change. I go from an xh who never read to a man who reads all the time. We're getting ready to start reading HNHN. He reads first since I told him I already read it. :P

Of course Queenie I'd love to help any newbies out. I used to think I was a MB failure b/c I got divorced, but in the end I guess I was one of the success stories because I saved myself, and my son and worked through this horrible situation. And after all that, found a good guy at last.

Just learn learn learn. And never give up. Don't think their life is perfect. It's hardly that. I saw your bio. My xh and his ow-w have never had real peace or fidelity. She's never known that. And it is sad. I do not dislike her anymore and actually have felt sorry for her. We do get along now after all this time has passed. I realize that I didn't need my xh at all. I wanted a real man one day who valued fidelity and wanted to build something special.

Hi JP. A BBQ sounds like a fine idea. Can you do one of those via an email?

What do you mean. What were some of the most amazing things that you learned.

Give up on what, my M or myself. How did you keep going when it was the darkest moments.

OW is a crack addict with hep c and he doesn't want to be married to his best friend anymore. That just plain hurts.

But I'm growing each day and opening my heart to what G-d wants for me. At least I think I am.

What lessons were the hardest but the most significant for you?

HEY THERE PEACHY!!

It's so GREAT to hear from you!!

You are such an INSPIRATION!!

Check out our GODDESS thread!!

You BELONG !!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I don't have alot of time tonight but I will try to begin a little bit for you. (I'm really pooped from work!)

Learn:
Learn about yourself. Relearn about who you are. What do you want to do? What are your interests? What have you wanted or dreamed to do but put on the backburner because you made life sacrifices? Are there any classes you want to take? Any continuing education? Part of plan A is improving you. This falls right into place.

Never give up:
Never give up on yourself or your children. Only give up on your mate if you give them over to God. I remember when I did that with my x. It hurt so much. But I had to do what I had to do to protect myself from him. Sounds like you are in a similar spot. He is a danger to you physically with the ow having a disease like that and a lethal addiction. Try all you can, do all you can, and seek wise help here. You can't make him change, but you can be a beacon of change to him. Until you have lost all love, keep trying a little, but do not put yourself in harms' way.

Hardest lesson but most significant? That I should have gone to a rigid plan B much more quickly than I did when first separated. I was too nice. I should have pulled a hopenpray (if you remember that guy) and taken a very very tough approach. That was all in the end my xh responded to. I did my plan A far too long and he enjoyed the fruits of it and it needed to be cut shorter a bit I think.

Thanks Mimi! Gotta work towards Goddess again. Not far off tho.

I really need some goddess help since I might be having to play the part of the goddess later this year if things keep moving in the direction that I'm thinking they're going plus I have several trips planned this year with my fella. I want 20 off!

Hi peachy .. your post is an answered prayer! I *just* posted today on my thread asking for some personal success stories - just like what you posted! How awesome. Thankyou for thinking of it, for taking the time to come back and update. It is so encouraging to those of us still in the dark .. I'd love to hear more, just like what Queeenie was asking about. Things that got your through or focused, also things that were not constructive maybe .. how you were really able to let go..

Hi Peach! You've always been that positive peach once you found you could survive without Darth - and look at you - you're THRIVING!

Hi, Peachy! Glad to hear that you're doing so wonderfully!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Aloha Peach,

Wow.... 9 years old? I keep thinking he is only 5 or 6. Mine has entered the dredded 'teenage' years. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Glad to hear u r doing fine. When r u coming out this way? Knewjie and her H came out in Nov. last year. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

It was nice to see them. You guys ought to venture out this way. Disney's scheduled to put up resort not far from us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


So Darth is still....darth, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Why am I not surprised. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So will you be sending a pix soon? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

take care.
L.

Hello Peachy, So many of us have wondered where and how you are. Your update and your news are heartening, and I am happy for your new life.

you say he is from "your area".. is he originally from tenn. as well?

i am happy for you. i know you went through some bad breakups like i went through this summer (and had it get dragged out right to xmas) and how much they hurt, especially getting betrayed AGAIN, but it is good to know that there is hope yet.

mlhb