Depending on the type of phone it is, most you can plug into a computer via a USB cable and crack.. that's how I discovered my wifes affair.. I was able to use what's known as a 'seem editor' to get her security password.. from there I could unlock the phone and download a file from it containing her last 100 text messages.. both sent and received..

What kind of phone is it? Model/Manufacturer?

That is the other thing w/ her cell phone, As a WW she sleeps with it, Since I confronted her last week on NC she thought she locked me out.

The carrier is Sprint and its an older Samsung, Besides prying it from her would take major LB's - I am not letting on as far as cracking her password and I don't think she has yet figured out that I was having messages from him forwarded to an external email.

As far as another session w/ SH hopefully by then end of the week and I have my exposure ready and waiting for the word, She also asked if I was in contact w/ IC since it was suggested she attend w/ me but with things the way they are I know that MC or IC is useless right now, The only hope I can gain by that is that we each have had 2 sessions individually w/ SH my last being last Fri where he asked me to stay the course.

The IC also relayed that she has been married a long time and is very Pro M - Even with things I have shared w/ her so hopefully IC will be able to shed a "spotlight" that shines over her gaslighting, And someone to look at herself for a second to see but that is like waiting for snow in July.

They do protect their phones don't they? LOL.. Mine would turn it off the minute I came home.. or kept it in her back pocket.. That was one of the things I noticed that told me something was up.. how she'd be sending me texts while I was at work, but the moment I walked in the door she turned her phone off..

Late one night I got up (she's a HEAVY sleeper), plugged it into my laptop and was reading her text messages in 20 minutes.. I only needed to read three or four to know that she was having an affair..

If you ever want to try that method, send me a message and I'll give you instructions.. it's not that difficult, but you do have to be careful not to save anything to the phone or that could cause problems with it..

One more thought.. most older Samsung phones are easy to crack without software.. Get the model number and google it.. you'll find tons of ways to bypass that security code.. you will find video instructions on YouTube for a lot of phones.. most have a master code that will bypass it..

There's always a way... phones, computers, game consoles.. can all be cracked...

Thanks for the advice and I will keep that in mind, I just dont think I can get the phone w/o causing any more stress and right now I am really laying low. Trying to get back to staying grounded and working on me.

I am going to have to schedule the session w/ SH no matter whether I have the money or not, I don't think she is going to do anything just yet, I felt that maybe she caught on to the text forwarding but did not since I had a mobile alert set up from email acct so that if there was something planned I could find a way to be there.

Somethings up, He just texted her asking "Is everything ok"

The last 2 nights she has been home earlier than normal, Says things are light but it should pick up @ the end of the week - WW and D went grocery shopping last night and I did a bunch of laundry, She got home and I helped with the groceries and she asked if I wanted something to eat and made me a little something.

Usually she takes a shower at night but last night she was in her "new bed" the couch b/f 9:00pm, Was asleep fairly early.

She is still being somewhat cold but since I let her know that she was lying about not being able to text her attitude has not been as cold.

I don't know what to think, Does she stay away and avoid b/c shes mad or is it that she feels to guilty and projects it as anger?

I only have a few min, but wanted to tell you this. Stop trying to figure out what she is thinking. You cannot apply rational thinking to irrational behavior. It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Know what I mean?

LC

life,

This time it was more of a statement rather than qusestion just thinking out loud or something.
I do have to say it's odd though - No text since Mon until that one.

I am sending an email to MB for appt, Even w/ everything that has happened I hope that it says something that I have been trying, Not always right and certainly haven't stopped emotions but I have been trying.

I was out for lunch and my cell went off, Text from OM to WW saying "cool be safe"

I have an appt w/ SH for tomorrow, I guess I should finalize exposure plans - Letters to VP, HR are written and I'll have to go to the post office to send certified.

Not sure how to tell in in laws whether talk with MIL, letter or wait until I can get MIL and FIL together some time?

Interesting, I just went online looking for something else relating to WW's job and found a site called ethics point.

It gives situations to report wrong doing by employees it lists many things that are violations and a choice to make a report either anonymously or with contact either by phone, email or mail.

Weird day today, 4 text messages 2 asking if she was ok, I saying "thats good" and the other "cool be careful"

I called the 800# for the ethics point to see if I could get a policy on personal relationships specifically between a married woman and they could not answer, It seems to go higher than the local dept heads here and they seem to have a strong code of ethics.

WW did say that they seem to fire people for silly things, I have a session for early tomorrow w/ SH and have been keeping kind of a low profile the last few days.

I wasn't going to get a V day card b/c she says when I do things like that it lays a guilt trip on her.

Again as far as that website goes you can either report anonymously or you can leave detailed occurences and misuse of company time and resources is covered, Considering her cell is supposedly obsolete I think she may being sending text messages from work pc.

I guess I will get SH's opinion early tomorrow but I am ready and will go at lunch to post office, I may go to MIL's work tomorrow afternoon with things, I can't be sure but wouldn't think she would have shared very much about us considering she has only been there twice in the last month.

She knows from b/f that I would confide in MIL and that I have owned my things as well.

One other thing as far as the work issue goes, WW transferred to the quality dept. although has been working in her old dept tha last 2 weeks and when she transferred she moved into quality and OM works in production.

Would that be a conflict? WW was mentioning how she could not show favortism or such and thought that if something like her A were to come up that they would look down on it for that reason as well?

I guess this is close to it, I can't even expose right now due to circumstances last night, All the text messages yesterday were due to her going to court and issuing a R/O.

I was able to get a few things, I cannot have any contact with anyone including my kids concerning WW, So I cannot expose to her parents, work or anything. Even if my kids call me I cannot answer the phone.

Before I left I held, hugged and kissed my kids and told each of them that regardless of what Mom says she is having an affair, that I still loved her.

I have a session w/ SH this morning, Not sure what I am thinking right now - I added to things and make my climb more difficult but WW needs more help as well.

I have sought help for both myself and our M and she has not realized for a long time her personality issues also, Lying, superiority complex, self esteem and A.

Maybe I am better off working on me, focusing on my kids, and they have and will see that WW really is messed up although unlike me she wont let any of it out - I let it out and sometimes in wrong ways but at least there is no false pretenses about me and I do have my honesty.

Newdg,

Wow, that's a bummer. Do you think your WW was reading here knowing what you were up to?

It will be interesting to see what SH will say.

LC

I'm confused. She got a R/O on you?

I cant be sure if she has been reading here, It does not matter at this point - Working on me, making sure my children know that I love them and are safe is the important thing.

SH says I should concentrate my focus on making the OM uncomfortable, Before I do anything I need to speak w/ an atty to see what the R/O would prevent me from doing, He thinks that I should let him know that he has been a big cause of this, Even though it's been denied.

I have to share w/ my atty things that were relayed by WW to me when we reconciled of his issues, I will also have his name entered in record somehow during the hearing and if I do the things I need to that at some point I should be able to return to my home.

The A is out there with my kids, Whatever else has happened that I contributed to is important but the fact that they know his name, the "friendship" was hidden and thats not right when people are married.

He says I should drag my feet at every turn to D, I have some records from the past 15+ months to at least show that even though I have dug a deeper hole that I had been seeking help, The exposure part is a little late but can still happen if an opportunity presents itself.

I dont really think she has been reading here, Some things have just played out b/c I wasn't strong enough and today I feel stronger for some reason.

Yes she did, I am ashamed but the reason is in my thread here, I have a consult w/ an atty today, spoke w/ SH and left a message for my IC.

The worst part is I cannot even accept phone calls if my kids try to contact me, I had to tell them that I cant call them and they cant call me, I am not allowed to have 3rd party communications w/ anyone as to my WW or my children.

Cant go near my house, her job or anywhere she is, My D has a concert today right across the street where I work and I cant even see her, I wonder if WW will be there? Is she in violation since it is within 1000ft of where I am?

I have made this infinitely harder on my children, myself and my M but I can only do the right thing and follow it to the letter and present myself well, Do the right things and as SH told me today is to make sure that I share w/ the atty all of what my WW has shared about OM and his issues so that I can keep him or them being around my children.

He supposedly has had an r/o issued against him at one time, twice D'ed, recent issues w/ custody or visitation with his own children and other things.

At least if nothing I hope to keep him from ever having contact w/ my children now or in the future but I am only going to take this min by min.

In my session w/ SH I asked about AOA lawsuit but after further review my state abolished it, Hopefully I can bring him to light in some way?

If anyone knows of any other legal means please advise?

I went back to the website that I spoke of and asked an anonymous question regarding workplace relationships and more specifically where one party is married, I was told to check back in 5 - 6 days, Hopefully if the R/O gets lifted then I can expose to work.

SH seems to think that I should speak w/ OM, I am not sure that face to face or even phone contact is advisable though, I will ask atty that as well, Trying to think of something I can do that would not be in violation of the R/O

I got a reply to their stance or lack of from the inquiry I sent from that website.

Our employee policy handbook does not contain any specific policies regarding the practices of employees' dating, whether they are married or single. We feel that employee conduct outside of the workplace is a personal matter as long as it does not violate our drug and alcohol policies and does not interfere with their conduct while at work.

Also wondering and I know that many here frown on the use of myspace but WW and I set up accts to monitor our children - WW has deleted hers but mine is active, I did not contact either one of my children through their pages but did post 2 entries to blogs.

Blog 1 - Life and Lives!

I have messed up at times, But never stopped loving and now everything has fallen apart again, When they changed for the better such a short time ago things were great again, Although neither one could hold to the promises that were made.

I was told that things I believed were true, I was asked not to share with ones who cared, I was helped to work through those things and helped the other also, But when the outside force that entered our lives somehow resurfaced it tore at the scab that was covering the wound until it bled again.

The pain seems even greater and not just to one but many, The disllusionment that has taken over so many is as real as the air we breathe. For now there are innocent souls who watch this mess from the sides wishing that it would go away but it doesn't, Even with a new coating of snow underneath it all is mud.

Hearts were mended, Now they're broken, The pieces scattered over time and the days that were are no more.

Two plus two should equal four but again it seems that the math equals five it doesn't make sense to divide when all we had to do was subtract the negative.

There was a destination, a map and course, But wrong turns led to this path!

The one who who would not move out the way has caused many great pain, Its not to just one but a few and one has to wonder how there could be no compassion, empathy or concern for it's the little ones who hurt the most.

In this life we pass through the days, Now it seems like a haze!

Feelings of love were everywhere now they are lost, How is it that "one TS" could bring so much BS!

Blog 2 - I can’t talk.........

I can't talk......... They can't call, Used to seeing them everyday and now feeling so far away. Minutes away but still far apart. Hope they know they won't leave my heart.

Can't say good morning, can't say good night, Can't hear them argue or feel comfort with a hug. Don't even know when they get on or off the bus, Even how their day was and how they are feeling.

The hours drag on and the day seems long, Hope they know that everything that's wrong is none of their fault.

They are beautiful and they are precious, They are the gift of love!

They are missed and they are loved, Hope it's not long before I can say.............

I LOVE YOU!

I was trying to keep them generic but where if certain people read them they will see certain things - Any thoughts?

dg, the workplace policy has nothing to do with the purpose of exposure. Whether or not they do anything about it is irrelevant. The goal is to put pressure on the affair by exposing it there. It is no fun to have an affair when you know everyone is looking. I would use the letter written by BritsBrat and point out the use of company resources to pursue an affair and the risk of sexual harrassment lawsuits. At the least, they will call in the affairees and discuss the issue with them. THAT will achieve your goal.

On what grounds did your wife get a restraining order against you?

This isn't from the same smashed cell phone incident from a almost a year ago???

No my recent emotional breakdown, Its in my thread and I really hate saying it again - Used a threat if suicide and she is bringing stuff up from the past as well.

I cant expose to the workplace since it would interferre with the R/O.

When its lifted I will do what I can, At least right now I can use the atty for R/O to make public the A and from what WW told me he is no prize and she said his issues were greater than mine so as they say she seems to have Aed down,

B/f I left I did tell both of my kids that no matter what you hear - Mom is having an A.

Also, As far as the exposure at work, I can use that using company time, resources and a possible conflict due to the postions of each - Although as you said it to put a light on it.