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I suspect she has been yanking our chain to try a make a POINT that shack up jobs with mistresses can be as successful as a good marriage and should be considered respectable. She says she came here to give us "advise on how to keep a relationship strong," even though she is in a relationship based on fraud and deceit. Perhaps she even knew it all along, which makes it no better than a shack up situation with a mistress. Hardly a standard of "strong" by any rational standard.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think that's why Americans have so many diseases, because things like this make them sick. Not only that they want to know every detail so they can gossip to their friends. There is a WHOLE lot wrong with this story...Many of the wise posters here have addressed most of it, so I won't even bother going there... HOWEVER, the above quote I am gonna address... Ahem, Toyota...Need I remind you that YOU currently live in AMERICA and from what I gather you may actually BE an AMERICAN CITIZEN...So I am certain that you enjoy all the great pleasures and freedoms that that affords you...So don't you DARE to come here to this AMERICAN OWNED and AMERICAN OPERATED FREE website and insult AMERICANS!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> If you don't like the way things are here in the good ole US of A, then you are certainly free to GO...Nobody is stoppin' ya...My dear, Delta is ready when you are!!! *cue The Star Spangled Banner* Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Mrs. W, ya gonna get this thing locked yet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Mrs. W, ya gonna get this thing locked yet! Well, that would probably be a good thing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Then we could all spend our time trying to help those who actually understand that they have a problem. Toyota doesn't see that she does. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Toyota, you just keep lying to yourself. I suspect (based on your lashing out) that you DID know about his previous marriage and child (because after all, you guys have such a STRONG relationship which would include no lies, right?).
Forget the advice I gave you. I had no clue I was helping an OW. If you believe that people shouldn't jump from one relationship to another, isn't that exactly what your husband has done? Jumped from his MARRIAGE to his AFFAIRAGE? Now the karma bus has arrived.
Sorry. I can't even wish you luck.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Toyota, I just joined this forum but had to comment on your situation. I see the good and bad side of this. The bad side is that he didn't tell you anything for all those years. Are you still going to trust him.
The good side is that you did find someone you cared about and the both of you have a relationship that you say is stronger than before. But you still have a long road ahead of you. You've got to fix those problems before things can get worst.
Everybody, has their own reasons to stay or leave their partners. It looks as if you have everything on your shoulders and know which direction to head for,I guess you are just a stronger person than they are. It's true that most people would leave their partners as soon as they find out what the problem is, it's because they are weak and want revenge. They don't really know what to look for in a relationship. Do you guys out there know of anyone that's had a perfect marriage ? How would we know anything especially behind closed doors, everything may seem perfect.
My suggestion to you is to go on and fix your problems then the two of you can live your life together legally. Actually, I think some of these people here are just jealous of your long term relationship. So, move on and keep us posted.
Toyota, do you live in a Common law state ? Because couples that have lived together for more than 3 yrs are legally considered husband and wife.
Good Luck !
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Charlie, It's true that most people would leave their partners as soon as they find out what the problem is, What is the source of this information? In fact, most BS do not leave their WS no matter what they thought they would do before they became victims of infidelity. Most stay and try to save their marriages. Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Actually, I think some of these people here are just jealous of your long term relationship. So, move on and keep us posted. Oh yes, jealous of a relationship built on lies and more lies. Certainly something to envy. Charlie, Perhaps, since this is a site sponsored by MB, you should take the time to familiarize yourself with the MB principles and not be giving ill-advised advice on your very first post. Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Actually, I think some of these people here are just jealous of your long term relationship. So, move on and keep us posted. Who would be envious of an affair based on deceit and fraud? YEGADS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Talk about sewer standards! The very suggestion reveals extremely dysfunctional standards and an ignorance of what constitutes emotional intimacy; the foundation of a successful union. Emotional intimacy is impossible without honesty.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Toyota, If you have read ANY of the many, many posts here you might take back what you wrote. Did you even read my post to you? You giving us advise on how to keep a relationship strong? I guess what you DIDN'T know is hurting you now. Obviously openness and honesty were not a part of your 'strong relationship' for 25 years. Please do not make disrespectful judgements regarding the people on this board. We have been trying to help you and at least we are honest. If you feel you have a strong relationship based on lies, well, that is your call. And, to Charlie, I agree with WhoMe, most of us here have NOT left our spouses when there is a problem. My marriage has withstood all that has come our way for 23 years. What is your story Charlie? Why don't you start a thread and tell us what is up with you? Put a fork in me, I am done with this thread. Not into threads that insult the great people here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Love in Christ, Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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Ummmm, "Charlie" is just another screen name by Toyota. It's only purpose is to support her demented viewpoint. Another bit of proof that Toyota is a TROLL!!!
Really, really sad and pathetic...
Last edited by Resonance; 02/14/08 12:23 PM.
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Ummmm, "Charlie" is just another screen name by Toyota. It's only purpose is to support her demented viewpoint. Another bit of proof that Toyota is a TROLL!!!
Really, really sad and pathetic... You think? That didn't even occur to gullible little me. Doh!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Yepper, PM...first post, plus "Toyota" hasn't been back. This is just a reincarnation to "show" that someone else supports her.
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. Actually, I think some of these people here are just jealous of your long term relationship.HayZeusKeyRiced....where is the vomit emoticon when you need it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Toyota, do you live in a Common law state ? Because couples that have lived together for more than 3 yrs are legally considered husband and wife. You better get yourself an abacus...cause you have to start counting at 7 for that to happen...AND....ONLY if you ain't already married. Otherwise it is called....BIGAMY...if you get a license and SWEAR before the magistrate and then go through with a wedding that is. If you lie and say you are married it isn't bigamy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Geez Louise...the things you read on this site anymore floors me... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> committed
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