cat, give yourself some credit!
first off, you took a chance, stepped out of your comfort zone, and went on a date. good for you! so you let him hold your hand and kiss you. so what? i do agree that i am not thinking he is a man i am real impressed with that he would ask to do those things upon first meeting, but it is done, move on.

as far as your ex goes. what was wrong with YOU that he left for someone old enough to be his daughter? nothing was wrong with you cat! it was/is his lack of character that did that. i don't care if you gained a hundred pounds and had awful marriage, he chose to have no morals and have an affair. a real man would have worked through problems or gotten a divorce and then moved on. why would you want that kind of man back in your life? that is something you need to look at.

you give up on God because he hasn't broken them up yet? come on cat. he gives us all free will, it is not up to God to break them up. i agree with the others. maybe you should do some volunteering in a shelter, in a nursing home, etc. it will help you put things in perspective and take your mind off of your own pain.

you see you are not ready to date, chock this up to a great learning experience cat.

but i am with medc. make a life for yourself cat. when my marriage ended i went back to school. i am almost done my bachelors now and by the end of the year will have 2 side business's going. i don't need a man to validate me or to make me "complete". when the time is right one will come along, but i am great with just me and my kids. i am making life happen cat and that's where you could start.

mlhb