You need to see a lawyer asap and you know what they are going to tell you ... you have to make her move out first. I would strongly suggest that too.

What do you think the end goal for YOU ?. Taking her back ? or only for the kids ?.

-rh-

Many lawyers offer a 30 minute free consultation. This should be enough time to explain your situation and find out what you can do.

The answer to any priority question with me, in any situation or from any angle will always be the kids. Everything else is secondary.

I was thinking less of making her move and more of persuading. Remember she has sole custody and every right here in Oklahoma to take them with her. As far as I've been able to determine from internet resources on custody law and dad's rights, her only obligation is to inform me well before the move and provide contact and location information promptly after.

So, my best hope is for her to keep to our original oral agreement to leave the children with me when she goes thereby giving me months maybe even a year of the children living solely in my home and her effective abandonment to work on, or persuade her to sign something... then kick her out.

I'm currently researching local attorney's. I went with a friend of a friend for the D and it cost me dearly. I've found since then that in our fairly rural area, the attorney's relationship with the judge is at least as important as his actual abilities as a lawyer.

I understand that you don't want to "rock the boat" as it were but you should talk to a lawyer anyway. Find out what is actually needed in your state to change custody. Maybe it is her agreement in writing. Maybe there's another way. Find out if your xWW's abusive H situation can work in your favour - what if the fact that she has a place to stay with you actually works in HER favour? Don't make any assumtions. Just because something sound right and should be so doesn't make it so. You've got a long 6 months to a year to endure with her in your presense - make sure you are taking all the necessary steps and precautions now. You don't need to retain a lawyer, just get the information.

Don't trust what xW said. It is like talking to an addict because she is still high on her A. Look for laywer ASAP. You might have a case for pettitioning the custody !. 1. They are living with you right now. 2. Her H in jail and not safe for your kids. At least get 50-50 legal custody.

For abandonment, in CA it has to be 2 weeks w/o news or where about. My xW showed up in 13th days .

Get the opinion of profeesional, a lawyer to consult. And yes ... you are third in your laywer priority. First is your lawyer's R w/ the judge, you nail it there. Second is your lawyer's R w/ the opposing counsel. You are last.

-rh-