She's getting paid on time. There's a five day period.

I have never missed a payment.

I'm simply functioning paycheck to paycheck now.

Ah, I see.

I'm in a new phaze in my life. Acceptance has kicked in and it is a good place to be. I noticed this when my ex came to pick the kids up the other night.

I use to get upset when I'd see my kids hang all over the ex's bf. It hurt and it sparked a fear of being "replaced".

Things have changed since then. I understand that no matter what happens between my ex and I, I will always be "daddy" to these kids no matter what.

So the kids run up and hug him and laugh with him, but instead of feeling threatened or scared, I feel nothing. This man will be their step dad, so it's good that they get along with him as long as he treats them well.

We've had a few very special moments recently. Our last visit together was full of laughs.

My cousin in Virginia did some spring cleaning of her house and gave me some of her kid's toys. The boys and my DD5 spent the night playing with the new toys and had a blast with them. My DD has a tomboyish streak to her. She seems to like the boy's toys better than her own.

But her favorite is a huge pink dog that is bigger than her. She carries him around the house everywhere she goes.

Well, we had a lot of fun that night. I made the veggie pancakes (which weren't as gross as they sound), my finicky son at 90% of it, and we spent the rest of the night playing with toys and running around the house playing "monster". That's where my daughter rides piggy back on my back and I chase the boys around making growling noises. They laugh and run and hide in the house. Of course, catching them means tickle fest and lots of laughs.

I also have a new addition to my kitchen thanks to Goodwill and what I suspect is the donation of a disgruntled wife or girlfriend. The Superman items turned in are very high quality and I did a quick ebay search and they are collector's items.

Well, I'm not going to sell them. I kept the Superman cookie jar in the kitchen and have started a new tradition that the kids really like. I bake chocolate chip cookies for them for nearly every weekend they come over. I now put the cookies into Superman, pick him up and "fly" him around our dining room table while singing the theme from the movies. The kids got a kick out of chasing him around, trying to sing the song and marching behind me.

We land on the kitchen floor and I remove the top (Superman's head) and they reach in and get the cookies. The "flying" resumes when they grab their cookies and that's how I put him back.

I really treasure these simple moments.

I pick them up tonight and look forward to sunny weather on Sunday, when I'll take them to the park to go play some "football" and soccer, which really consists of running around with the football while getting chased by the other two.

Fun for all.

oh my goodness trust me i have to live on a budget!
with excess marital debt, working full time and in school full time.... it is not easy.

utilize the food pantry, that is what it is there for. i wouldn't wear a 3pc suit, lol, but you don't have to be dirt poor to use it. gosh, a friend of mine utilizes it. her husband is a cop but in our small town they don't make a ton. she is a sahm to 3 kids. they own a home, etc... but trust me, they utilize the food pantry.

i think what you are finding at good will is awesome!
i sold some of my exes things he left behind on ebay.
definitely sell all you can on there, it is cool to do!
in fact, i am doing some spring cleaning this week and may list some items... it is worth it.

you sound like you are doing fine.

as far as child support goes, um, she is only going to get it when you get paid does she not realize that? do you have specific dates each month that it is due or something? i have my exes garnished. it goes right into my savings every 2 weeks like clock work.

mlhb

She didn't have my wages garnished. I think I should have taken that route. Something about that felt wrong to me, but I may choose that option next. We left things in our agreement flexible in order to allow for changes in CS as the kids reached different milestones, but my ex, not surprisingly, has resisted recalculating CS.

Well, I may be forced to get another job if things don't change. The problem is that additional income can be used against you, so you really can never get ahead.

I have bills I'm ignoring now, just out of necessity. It stinks, but I have no option on the matter.

I hope for some relief in the near future. I'd be happy to simply break even.

Still, bills need to be paid and debt needs to be paid.

I might sell a massage chair I never really use. That should be good for a few hundred.

I sold an old weight set that I used for Christmas money.

I have some old game systems which might fetch me some money too.

I'll find a way to make ends meet for sure.

Three days.

I just spent three great days with the kids. We had a lot of fun.

I'm having a tough time tonight.

I spend three days with them laughing and making noises. Monday comes, they go back to mom and I'm left with silence.

It's tough.

I just watched "Reign Over Me" with Adam Sandler and it has me thinking.

We don't appreciate the ones we love enough when we have them in our lives and the next thing you know they're gone and you're left with regrets for not saying certain things or doing certain things.

I called a college buddy of mine right after the movie just to say hi.

I recommend that movie to all the broken hearts on this board. Yes, it's a movie about loss, but it's about friendship too and getting past the loss to live again.

So I'll go to bed in silence, which is ok. I just miss the kids and knowing that they're just down the hall. I won't be able to tuck them in tonight or check on them before I go to sleep like I always do.

****sigh****

Aaarh!

I'm not a happy camper right now.

My son cannot pronounce his consonants very well. He is difficult to understand and is nearly 4 years old. His brother speaks fairly clearly.

I'm frustrated because my ex has acknowledged he has this problem. A pediatrician gave me a note regarding this problem and agreeing that it wouldn't hurt to have a pro evaluate him.

So what's the issue?

It's a control and power thing for her. She believes she should be in charge of making appointments for the kids as the "primary caretaker".

Any involvement by me has been dealt with by statements such as "final warning" and accusations that I want to control.

Sooo, in the meantime, the kid's go without being seen or evaluated or vaccinated or to dental appointments.

Well, she's much more attentive NOW after our daughter had surgery to repair 8 cavities and it seems she now pays attention to the kid's oral health.

BUT, my son's speech issue has gone without evaluation.

I scheduled an evaluation last October. I made sure she got a notice in the mail 3 weeks before the appointment that he would be seen. She threw fits that I made such an appointment.

I cancelled it and decided to do things her way. So the pediatrician saw him in November and he agreed that the source I originally chose was the best group to evaluate him.

She tabled making an appointment for him till after the holidays.

Fine.

So she makes an appointment which gets cancelled because of weather.

So they reschedule him and she cancels that one because she tells them she's moved now to WV.

So it's been almost 8 months since I scheduled his original appointment to have him evaluated and cancelled because she demanded it.

Tell me, who is being hurt by not having him evaluated? Me? No.

My DS3 is the one who is going without being seen all because my exWW demands that she make the appointments and watch out for the kids and then DOESN'T DO IT!

Argh!

This is a vent. Sorry. I'm frustrated.

I can devote my time and life to actually being a parent and the system is biased against me as a father. Go figure.

Ok. Vent over.

And, you know, the experts might look at him and say, "His vocabulary is good, and all is ok. Do these exercises with him to help improve his pronunciation and that should help."

End of story. All done. Dad's concern for his son gets addressed.

I thought you were blocking this move??

Didn't you file a complaint??

Yes, I did file a complaint. There is a hearing on the second of June.

There was no emergency hearing because she moved an hour away.

An hour is a long time when it already takes 2 hours to get to work and when you're eventually supposed to have 50/50.

But she didn't negotiate in good faith, obviously.

So we'll see what happens.

Hey Pomdbd3,

Did she move across state lines? I thought you'd mentioned that previously.

How long would your travel time be from where she is now?

Was 50/50 in writing anywhere?


and on an entirely different subject, what were those games you mentioned? I'm an IT director too, my girls have had their own PC... pretty much since they were born

Yes, she's crossed state lines.

Yes, 50/50 is supposed to be negotiated in one year. "Negotiated" has different meanings to her and I.

She's one hour away in a completely different direction than what I take to work or to go home. My commute to work is already about 1.5 hours one way. It was over 2 hours this morning since I took the kids in a little later than I normally have in the past. I wanted to see how long it would take me to get to work if I started the commute as she is suggesting I do.

She doesn't care or realize that I have to get the kids up at 4 in the morning to have them out the door by 5 to be in her town by 6 in order to drop them off and then I drive back and START my commute at 7 and hope I get to work by 9, which is too late in this building (the Pentagon).

I currently drop them off at a daycare in my town between 6:20 and 6:45. I can be at work by 8 when I'm dropping them off at 6:20. 9AM when it's 6:45 or later.

She stated to the Parenting Coordinator that if it was up to her I'd only see the kids every other weekend. Well, this move pretty much reduces me to that if custody isn't reversed.

Under my proposed arrangement the kids would stay with me in MD, which has the second best school system in the country, and she could visit with them on her way home from work on Wednesday nights, and take them to her house on Thursday nights and we alternate weekends.

This doesn't take either parent out of the equation, it lets us both stay involved in the kid's lives, and the town I live in is on her way to work and on her way home.

But, that's me thinking about the kids and their relationship with their parents.

Her? She has other ideas in mind. My guess is that she wants her live in fiance to become the new daddy to the kids and reduce me to every other weekend and a paycheck.

Hopefully the courts will see that, but it's hard to say or guess.

The kids are in a daycare in town and in a school here but that will only last until June 16th and I have no idea what she thinks she's doing to do after that date.

I'm hoping the courts will allow them to stay in MD schools and reverse custody and not take me out of their lives.

Hey, PO3

Your situation, like many around here, is heart-breaking.

Personally, I go through stretches where I can only deal with my own stuff--where I'm not really able to offer support to other posters or even read their stories, and I think I'm in one of those right now.

I wanted to let you know, however, that I've seen you posting on lots of different threads, and I think the advice you've been giving has been really great. Many timesrecently I have ventured into a thread and found one of your posts and thought "Man, what a great post." Keep up the great work!

Good luck at the courts!


We must be in the same metropolitan area. I worked there for a couple months once, and I understand what you mean by 9 being too late. At the time, it felt like 7:30 was too late to get to work.