Hi CL,




Good for you, BRAVO! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />



As you know, CL.... I also have to FORCE myself to do the paperwork...for our OWN good!... and probably....you approach it the same way I do.... with a lot of DETACHMENT!

...to me..this means....doing what NEEDS to be done... and somehow...NOT attach to it any EMOTIONAL component...otherwise we might not be able to get THROUGH doing it! ....too much...PAIN! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

...again, I suspect our brain is at work.... trying to be helpful to us...and had....SURVIVAL mode kick in.... by DOING....someTHING! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

....I just keep telling myself... whatever it is....it's NORMAL!

....but the fact is....this is UNKNOWN territory for us... and we need to... feel the fear but DO IT ANYWAYS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Keep doing what you are doing...you'll be OK...CL...( NOW...I just need to follow my OWN advice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />..LOL!)

Queenie, Luna,

Thanks for the support. Some weeks are harder than others. And somedays I just want to get it all over with and be done with it.

I'm just tired of the whole thing I guess.

I think that I'm just going to go to bed now because I'm starting to get a bad attitude and I don't want to get a bad attitude.

I just want to be happy and right now I'm not happy.

On another note, my dog has bad gas tonight so I guess I had better get her outside before this room explodes. She's on a special fish and potatoe diet.

Have a peaceful night all. I'll do an attitude adjustment and be back tomorrow.

Hi CL,


...guess it IS just one of THOSE days!

...hope tomorrow will be better.....

Good morning Chai,

Hopefully you get this when you wake up. I love you, and pray that you have a spectacular day. Or at least a better one that just one of THOSE days.

Hi Queenie,

Yes today is a better day, and this looks like it will be a better week.

DD said something about her dad today and I realized that I really don't even want to hear his name. I'm better when I don't. Just do not want anymore hurt. None, nada, zip.

In fact my anger is bordering on hate at the moment, and I don't want to go there. I don't want to end up saying bad things. Things like 'I hope that ', well never mind. You get my drift, so we just won't go there.

I'm going to turn my paperwork into the atty and have him deal with it all. He said that the 4 of us need to sit down and talk, but I'm not doing that. I figure that is what I pay him for - to deal with WH and his atty.

OK, so attitude adjustment is almost in place and ready to move forward again. In a few weeks, I can start getting my deck and patio ready for summer. I'm going to think about flowers, green trees, chirping birds, and some sort of weekend getaway.

(psst...I hope the karma bus blows over in a tornado).

Tray tables and seat back in the upright position. Landing soon....

Sounds like you are doing okay. Sometimes I think that the reason everyday is a good day for me is just because it is all OVER!!!!!!

Believer,

I hear you. Being in this state of limbo is maddening. I almost just want to do whatever I have to do get it over with. Now that he filed for the D, I'm not so sure I even want to recover.

Today I had to ask myself why I would want someone who passed himself off as D'd, lived with OW behind my back for a year, lied to me for another year after I found out, and now is being hostile about it. What kind of person does that to their spouse of over 34 years?

Guess I just answered my own question, huh?

Anyway, I would love to be able to reach the point that you are at and be able to let it go.

Thanks for your support.

Well, when the affair ends, they do change right back. My ex was the coldest - that's the only word - SOB. He headed out, and didn't look back.

Now that the affair has ended, he is just like the guy I married.

B,
Is he still coming around? Have you changed your mind at all?

Hi Chai,

I'm thinking about you girl. I love you. Sleep well. I am glad the day is better. And the week as well.

Take care of yourself.

My girlfriend and I made a pact on the phone last night that for one week every morning when we get up we are going to face ourselves in the mirror and tell ourselves we love ourselves unconditionally and we are perfect just as we are. We are coming to understand that we need to learn to love ourselves as much as we love our WH. We can't take care of them, but we sure as heck can take care of ourselves.

Will you join us?

It's a better week I guess.

I'm going to deliver all paperwork to my atty this week, so I'm not sure what will happen after that. Probably a little bargaining between attys then it will be ready for court.

Not sure how long a D will take in my state, but I guess I will be D by end of summer. Oh man, I hate that label.

{{{{{{{{{Chai}}}}}}}}}}}

I don't know why we are going through this, but there is a plan for us. I believe that. I'm just as scared as you are. But we have to find the strength and path to keep walking. If we stop NOW, we are gonners.....

Found my thread back in the archives. Wow, the board goes down and I end up in the basement...

OK, I had my anger week when I had to sort through all of the paperwork. The financial hit was making me really angry. But wait, it only gets worse from there. And I read The Secret too. Darn. Maybe I better read it again....

Anyway, DD gets evicted and someone calls me to tell me her belongings are out on the sidewalk. Even her clothes. So I ask the person to go get them for her. He got there as the garbage truck was putting the last thing in. So there she is with no place to live, nothing but the clothes on her back, and the dog was transformed into a Pound Puppy. Still, I won't let her live with me.

Next day, I'm told that we didn't get a contract so I no longer have a job. Oh joy. Now what?

Day after that, DD goes in the pokey. That's $60K for a college education well spent. Well, free roof over her head and free food I guess.....

Day after that, atty wants another $2K.

That's been my week since the boards went down.

I'm too depressed to write anymore now. I'll come back after I see who gets the axe on American Idol....

Yikes! Hope you are doing okay. It might be the best thing for your DD. I had a friend that lost her husband, kids, house, car, and all her possession and most of her friends before she got clean. She has been clean for 25 years now.

Well Believer, I keep thinking that the bottom must be coming up fast, but each step down seems to become the new norm after a day or two. I'm scared that the bottom is 6 feet below ground. I'm just not sure what it will take for her.

I thought that I was at my bottom but looks like I have a ways to go yet. Just when you think things can't get worse.....

You start praying your hardest and totally trusting G-d. He has you Chai. That's why there are only ONE SET of footprints. I promise you.

I don't know Queenie, I just don't know. Somedays it just feels like I'm losing everything and I don't know how to stop it. I must be doing something wrong but I'm just not sure what. Right now I feel like it just isn't worth it.....

Hope to talk to you soon...

yea, like right now I am calling you

Chai - Have faith that things will work out. I know how it just seems like one thing after another. Put the oxygen mask on yourself. Live a good life and hope that your daughter and hubby will wake up.

And know how much you are loved by all of us and in our prayers.

You didn't answer girl.

Please keep the FAITH, it's really all we have. And then again, with FAITH what more do we need.

He has plans for us, to prosper us. He knows the beginning and the end, he will not be thwarted. TRUST G-D my sweet friend.